Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Results 1 to 21 of 21

Thread: Do you think?

  1. #1
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bosque County, Texas
    Posts
    3,028

    Do you think?

    We so often ask if someone (a relative, a friend, a stranger) will like a ___________________ (fill in with whatever interests you - a bow tuck bag, a quilt, etc., this color, this pattern, etc.)
    Then we answer "Oh, the person will LOVE that!" When none of us knows that person, knows what they like or what kind of person they are. How can we assume a person is going to like a pink and green and puce bag or a purple and brown quilt? OR that a new mother wants a pink quilt for a new baby girl, or doesn't want a blue quilt for new baby boy? Why do we assume that if a fellow quilter made it for someone, that someone will love it? I don't think life always supports that assumption.

    Why do we have so little faith in ourselves that we ask strangers to make a judgment call on what others strangers (to them) are going to like? Why don't we just say "I've made this as a gift and I hope the person likes it. Do any of you like it? Will any of you admit you don't like it?" Maybe then our answers wouldn't sound like a mutual admiration society meeting of possible dim wits.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Grambi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Spring Branch, Texas
    Posts
    966
    It's all part of normal social interaction.
    Bambi

  3. #3
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Outside St. Louis
    Posts
    28,379
    This sounds like a joke, not a good one but, a joke.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  4. #4
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bosque County, Texas
    Posts
    3,028
    Why would it sound like like a bad joke to question unbased comments?

  5. #5
    Super Member MaryKatherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Guelph, On. -
    Posts
    1,673
    Blog Entries
    1
    I know whaty ou mean. I've been asked by a bride to be to make a quilt for them (my nephew). She sent me a picture from Pottery Barn. You'd thing that would be an easy one as it just large blocks. But there is no way I will be able to duplicate the fabric. They want no participation in that aspect, they wantthe surprise, so they will get what they get. It took me almost a month to decide what fabics. I went with Batik.
    MaryKatherine
    marykayhopkins123.blogspot.com

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    531
    Maybe it's just me, but I'm a little confused by the way you phrased your question in your post. But if I do read it right, you're questioning why we ask complete strangers if the person we're making a quilt for would like the fabrics we're picking out or the pattern we're considering. You're also saying how could one stranger (the one we're asking in the store) possibly know what another stranger to them (the person we're making the quilt for) would like or enjoy.

    Assuming I've got the question right, I would say that often those who do this aren't looking for someone to make choices for them, they're looking for validation that they have already made good choices in the fabrics/pattern they have already chosen.

    I've personally never done this, but I have had folks ask my opinion on fabrics, colors, patterns, etc. in Joann's from time to time. Mostly, they are brand new to quilting and just need some direction and a little confidence boost that they're on the right track.

    When I'm making a quilt for someone, I put a lot of time and thought into their personalities, color schemes in their homes, what colors they often wear themselves, etc. I try to always make quilts in hues that they will like, even if it's not particularly my taste.

  7. #7
    dd
    dd is offline
    Super Member dd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    1,817
    I have looked at few things on the board and thought wow, everyone else seems to like this but I don't, guess it's just me. Guess it's just everyone being way to polite. If I put something on the board and ask for opinions, then I want the good with the bad. That's why everyone has their own opinion.
    Blessed are the quilters, for they are the piecemakers.

  8. #8
    Senior Member chaskaquilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Chaska MN
    Posts
    355
    Well, when I posted my one picture of a quilt I made, I just glowed at the wonderful comments that were made about it. Now the picture wasn't very good and folks couldn't see that the machine quilting wasn't perfect. I suspose one could say "I sure wouldn' use those colors, they're ugly togther, if asked. Or, "you sure didn't get the points or seams very good on the quilt". And those might be the right comments. But would they make the person who worked hard on the quilt feel good? Or would you feel good making the comments? I guess once in a while you have to just be what we call Minnesota Nice. And I see nothing wrong with it. We are not quilt police, or judging quilt show entries. If that makes me a dim wit, I am happy being one. I enjoy looking at all the quilts and hope folks continue to show them.

  9. #9
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bosque County, Texas
    Posts
    3,028
    What I meant to emphasize was-- when someone posts a picture and asks "Will my daughter, or my whoever like this?" How can we as strangers be expected to make an intelligent answer? We can only honestly say "I would like it" or "I wouldn't like it." We can say, "It looks well made." which is not the question that was asked. We can say "It is beautiful." Which is also not the question that was asked. But unless we actually know the person, we can't say if that person will like it. So why do we ask that question? If a mother, who knows her own daughter, doesn't have a clue if the item will be liked, then how can the mother expect us, as strangers, to know the answer to her question? And why do we try to answer it?
    Last edited by TanyaL; 01-23-2012 at 02:44 PM.

  10. #10
    Junior Member lorraine43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Pine Bush ,NY
    Posts
    247
    Maybe because we try to be nice !!!!!

  11. #11
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bosque County, Texas
    Posts
    3,028
    How is it nice when our answer to "Will she like it?" is not based on knowledge?

  12. #12
    Super Member Greenheron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Beautiful Briery Mountain in WV
    Posts
    2,619
    Thumper's mother taught him: "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nuffin' at all."

    When asked a specific question on the Board such as "Which border works better?" an honest opinion is in order. When a picture of a completed project is shared sincere, positive comments are in order. If you feel it resembles roadkill, follow Thumper's rule.

    It takes courage to post a picture and "Will so-and-so like it?" really means "Do you like it?" The quiltmaker is aware we cannot predict other's opinions.
    Last edited by Greenheron; 01-23-2012 at 07:48 PM.

  13. #13
    Super Member kitsykeel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Salisbury, North Carolina
    Posts
    1,018
    Quote Originally Posted by TanyaL View Post
    We so often ask if someone (a relative, a friend, a stranger) will like a ___________________ (fill in with whatever interests you - a bow tuck bag, a quilt, etc., this color, this pattern, etc.)
    Then we answer "Oh, the person will LOVE that!" When none of us knows that person, knows what they like or what kind of person they are. How can we assume a person is going to like a pink and green and puce bag or a purple and brown quilt? OR that a new mother wants a pink quilt for a new baby girl, or doesn't want a blue quilt for new baby boy? Why do we assume that if a fellow quilter made it for someone, that someone will love it? I don't think life always supports that assumption.

    Why do we have so little faith in ourselves that we ask strangers to make a judgment call on what others strangers (to them) are going to like? Why don't we just say "I've made this as a gift and I hope the person likes it. Do any of you like it? Will any of you admit you don't like it?" Maybe then our answers wouldn't sound like a mutual admiration society meeting of possible dim wits.
    I haven't posted any pictures yet, but when I do I hope everyone will be as kind to me as they have been to others here who have posted. If I want constructive criticism I will go to the local quilt guild meetings where I can ask for honest pointers and opinions regarding my work. That is what they are there for, to help others learn best techniques and practices and can sit with you and demonstrate how to make it better. If many on the board commented negatively to the posted pics, it surely would discourage many from ever posting again.
    Kitsy

  14. #14
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Mabank, Texas
    Posts
    8,276
    I see things that I think are beautiful that I would never buy for myself.

    I receive gift items that I think are beautful but would never buy for myself.

    I have never received a gift that someone gave to me or lovingly made especially for me that I did not love if only because it was made and/or given with love.

    There is beauty in most things, sometimes we just need to look a little harder to find it.

    And, just because a person doesn't like it doesn't mean it's ugly to everyone.

    It's human nature to want to get positive feedback on what we do and it doesn't matter if it's from family, friends or strangers. We just like to hear it.

    I was raised to say nothing at all if I couldn't say something nice. That's how I still live today.
    Fabric is like money, no matter how much you have it's never enough.

  15. #15
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Perth, Western Australia
    Posts
    10,285
    The majority of us are our own worst critics....hence the need for others approbation. Many feel awkward when posting their work and find it hard to use the right words....they just need a little boost so they can give their gift to that special person without feeling it is a "catalogue of faults". I recently made a quilt for my eldest step-son's cat....anyone would have thought the wretched thing was destined for Houston, the attention I gave it! All because I wanted it to be "perfect" for a young man who is very dear to me. Anyway....that's my take on it.

  16. #16
    Super Member Peckish's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    6,117
    Blog Entries
    1
    I guess I never really thought about it until now, but I've never asked that question of someone unless I KNOW they know the recipient better than I do. For instance, I'll ask my MIL what colors my SIL would like in a quilt, because she knows her daughter better than I do. But I'd never ask a sales person that question. However, I WOULD ask a sales person or a stranger if this color looks better than that color, etc.

  17. #17
    Power Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    13,232
    Here is something to think about. Next time read how many replies are compared to how many have veiwed it. That should tell you that some people have no comment and others really like it. In my case if there are to many responses I don't bother with my thought.
    SueDor

  18. #18
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bosque County, Texas
    Posts
    3,028
    Quote Originally Posted by Greenheron View Post
    Thumper's mother taught him: "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nuffin' at all."

    When asked a specific question on the Board such as "Which border works better?" an honest opinion is in order. When a picture of a completed project is shared sincere, positive comments are in order. If you feel it resembles roadkill, follow Thumper's rule.

    It takes courage to post a picture and "Will so-and-so like it?" really means "Do you like it?" The quiltmaker is aware we cannot predict other's opinions.
    IT's still my opinion that a literate person will mean "Will so-and-so-like it?" if that is the question. If the intent is "Do you like it?" Then that will be the question!


    And this line of thought about question and answer has nothing to do with posting pictures of our work when we AREN'T asking the question "Will so-and-so like this?" This is about a specific situation involving opinions about strangers's preferences, not our opinions about someone's work.Of course we support our efforts in quilting. That is not what we are discussing here.
    Last edited by TanyaL; 01-24-2012 at 05:55 AM.

  19. #19
    Super Member nena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    WV
    Posts
    2,677
    Don't sweat the small stuff. We are all proud of our quilts whether someone else likes them or not. But if you are a quilter you will want to share and get other peoples opinions. You can share yours or not.
    I do understand what you are saying, but who really cares , we are not in school and have no quilting police on here. We are just wanting to share our work and excitement.

  20. #20
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bosque County, Texas
    Posts
    3,028
    I understand exactly what you are saying about our feelings about our quiltings. I just don't understand the psychology of asking an opinion about a stranger's preferences, or our willingness to assume what a stranger's preferences are. Guess I need to research some psychology texts for the answer since y'all don't seem to know why we do what we do. It really has nothing to do with quilting, I guess. However, human behavior is not "small stuff."
    Last edited by TanyaL; 01-24-2012 at 09:27 AM.

  21. #21
    Super Member luvTooQuilt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    A Hop from Heaven, a Skip from Sanity and a Jump from the Good Life....
    Posts
    7,119
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by nena View Post
    Don't sweat the small stuff. We are all proud of our quilts whether someone else likes them or not. But if you are a quilter you will want to share and get other peoples opinions. You can share yours or not.
    I do understand what you are saying, but who really cares , we are not in school and have no quilting police on here. We are just wanting to share our work and excitement.
    Exactly......

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.