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-   -   Do you welcome the newcomers ? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/do-you-welcome-newcomers-t152825.html)

Wanabee Quiltin 09-14-2011 05:48 AM

I went to a local quilt guild meeting for the first time last night expecting to have a great time. It was held in a large gym full of women. Signed in as a visitor and was not welcomed by the lady sitting there. Told it cost $20 to join the guild and I said I was just a visitor tonight. Went to find a seat and one lady talked to me. Others sat in front of me and others sat behind me and beside me. Talked all around me and no-one said a word to me even though I was wearing the sticker announcing my visitor status. They did announce my name with others and I raised my hand to show where I was sitting. Still no welcome from anyone or any attempt to be friendly. The lady sitting next to me was making rude remarks about the lady doing the FQ raffle, making fun of her voice. Heard others making remarks also that were not kind. I could not hear much of all because of the room acoustics. At break time, I quietly got up and left. Not my kind of quilt guild at all. I tried talking to the woman next to me but she was not interested at all. I am wondering what I should have done to have had a better experience......

blueangel 09-14-2011 05:52 AM

I'm like you, I would have left.

Cyn 09-14-2011 05:55 AM

I would have left not to return. That is the last experience I would want to be involved in. Sorry, keep trying and a nice group of ladies will turn up:)

Zhillslady 09-14-2011 05:55 AM

Local guild here was same way so I left during the break. I did tell them why about a week later when someone called to thank me for coming and reminding me of next meeting.

QuiltnNan 09-14-2011 05:56 AM

i'm sorry you experienced that. you might contact the guild to share your experience so that they can possibly change their procedures to be more welcoming to visitors. as to the rudeness of others, i think there is some of that everywhere... even here where we practice Minnesota nice :) . usually, in large guilds, there are smaller groups who meet separately with their own interests... perhaps hand quilting, charity quilting, etc. you could inquire as to whether this would be the case there. if it's the only guild around, i'd hate to see that you miss out because of one experience only. see if they will give you one more chance as a visitor. if you don't like your neighbors, at the break, change seats. if they have show and tell, find someone with your quilting style and seek them out for a conversation. best of luck.

Annaquilts 09-14-2011 05:59 AM

Hmmm maybe not the most freindly place. Is there another guild in your area you can try?

jaciqltznok 09-14-2011 06:13 AM


Originally Posted by Wanabee Quiltin
I went to a local quilt guild meeting for the first time last night expecting to have a great time. It was held in a large gym full of women. Signed in as a visitor and was not welcomed by the lady sitting there. Told it cost $20 to join the guild and I said I was just a visitor tonight. Went to find a seat and one lady talked to me. Others sat in front of me and others sat behind me and beside me. Talked all around me and no-one said a word to me even though I was wearing the sticker announcing my visitor status. They did announce my name with others and I raised my hand to show where I was sitting. Still no welcome from anyone or any attempt to be friendly. The lady sitting next to me was making rude remarks about the lady doing the FQ raffle, making fun of her voice. Heard others making remarks also that were not kind. I could not hear much of all because of the room acoustics. At break time, I quietly got up and left. Not my kind of quilt guild at all. I tried talking to the woman next to me but she was not interested at all. I am wondering what I should have done to have had a better experience......

I am sorry you had this experience. But sadly it is the NORM in many areas! Here in my local group it is JUST like that. I personally welcome NEW faces, but the others could not care less if they are in the room, UNLESS it a friend/family member of one of the elite members! I have seen many a new faces that only come once...it is really sad!

I hope you find the right place for you!

mymsmess 09-14-2011 06:16 AM

The guild I joined is kinda odd too. The firstand second time I went, I felt welcomed. On the second meeting I went ahewad and payed my $20.00 dues. My 3rd meeting was last month and not a soul sayed hello! I am seeing they all have there little clicks in this guild. My next meeting is next Monday evening. If I don't feel comfortable then, I WILL WALK OUT!

quiltingb1 09-14-2011 06:44 AM

I had a similar experience with a guild I went to. Went twice and no one even acknowledged that I was there. Tried to talk to a few people and join in on some conversations but was pretty much treated like I didn't exist (which I assure you I do LOL) so that was it for me. Never went again. My husband was military so we were new to the area and I think the problem was that many of these women had known each other for years and didn't need new friends. But it was the same way with a couple of churches we tried out - just never made to feel welcome. So sad but their loss!

Lisanne 09-14-2011 06:54 AM

Sorry to hear you weren't welcomed properly!

But I might give it another chance, actually. People are going to talk to the people they know, and not everyone is interested in greeting new people. I guess if I'd been there as a new person, I'd have just observed during the first meeting, maybe introducing myself to people during a break or at a time when everyone wasn't seated as an audience. I would expect people to get to know me gradually.

I suppose I'd also accept a cliquey quilt guild, as long as they were nice enough to chat with me about quilting. Because that's what I'd be there for, and any friendships that might develop would be the icing on the cake.


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