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-   -   Friends and honesty (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/friends-honesty-t161460.html)

Gramof6 10-18-2011 09:38 PM


Originally Posted by Jim's Gem
Speak the truth in love

Ditto! :thumbup: By my choice, I do not have close friends because I seemed to have chose friends that took advantage of people or was dishonest to me. My bad. I want honesty and will give the same. In a loving way. Kindness cost nothing and it is something everyone can use.

tuesy 10-18-2011 10:09 PM

I believe in honesty and never want to be lied to in any way, shape or form.
IMO if you can't be honest with me, then you're not being honest with yourself.

Becca Bear 10-19-2011 12:39 AM

I feel an acquaintance will tell you what they think you want to hear. A friend will tell you the truth.

meemersmom 10-19-2011 01:27 AM

I firmly believe honesty is the best policy. BUT...sometimes things are best left unsaid, especially if they serve no purpose other than to hurt someone. And, with close friends especially, its not WHAT you say so much as HOW you say it. Makes a big difference.

watterstide 10-19-2011 02:37 AM

Yes, Rose. this is how i feel too..
but when it comes to difference of opinions, well, that is what makes the world go round. a real friend loves you no matter what.
a small sample of what i did..my friend started using an eyebrow pencil. it was way to dark for her. very harsh looking. I took one look at her, and told her,she needed to get a lighter colored pencil. the next week, she had come in with the lighter color on her brows. she look great.
same with an older gentleman i worked with..he dyed his hair jet black. and i told him..Dennis, your a good looking man..and the black is to harsh for your face. go to a hair dresses and ask them what color would be best for you. it took him months to change his hair..i think his wife dyed it for him..
Political, religious and child rearing views are personal..i would never discuss these things with friends...at least not to the point to where they are "wrong" and I am "right"!
if the original poster is posing this question to us, then i think you must of ticked someone off,with your honesty,and maybe lost a friendship over it. IF you feel guilty or feel the need to justify your reactions or your slip of the tongue, then you need to apologize and try to mend the friendship. if you don't,well so be it with your previous friend. wish them well..pray for them, and get on with your life.
If i am asked for an opinion, then i give it..if not, then i keep my mouth closed. nothing ever said in anger or self righteousness. I try to respect people and their choices.
stepping down now..lol




Originally Posted by Rose L
Well I think there is a fine line between honesty and being brutally honest. Now if I asked you if my butt looks big and you said no, I'd probably know you lied just to make me feel better and I wouldn't care about your little lie. However if I asked you if my husband was cheating on me and you knew the answer is yes, well, you darn well better fess up instead of letting me beat my head against a wall for a few years. See what I mean. I generally don't go spewing out information though unless I'm asked point blank. There have been times where I've known things about a friend and could tell they had some doubts or questions but preferred to remain in denial. In those cases...mum's the word. I'd never hurt a friend just so I could feel superior for telling the truth.


piepatch 10-19-2011 02:40 AM


Originally Posted by CloverPatch
I find people that feel the need to be totally "honest" all the time Don't know the difference between honestly and uncensorsored personal oppinion.
Those kinds of friends i DON"T need or want to hear their "honesty"

I agree......I know a couple of these people!

jitkaau 10-19-2011 03:13 AM

I prefer honesty without malice - certainly in preference to those who are two faced back - stabbers.

JanetP 10-19-2011 03:19 AM

Honesty is most important in a relationship.

the old one 10-19-2011 03:27 AM

Depends on what kind of honesty you mean--there are many ways of communication without hurt feelings and without falsehoods. Example--that green dress doesn't flatter you one little bit or I think your blue dress is so pretty. Other example--your corners don't match anywhere on that quilt, or great colors, was it difficult to sew? Guess which friend will be asked to drink coffee? piecefully, the old one

Candy Apple Quilts 10-19-2011 03:28 AM

Honesty, combined with tact and compassion, is always the best approach.


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