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Always be honest! Just do it in a loving way, don't beat it down on people.
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I have a friend who is very honest with me, but needs work in diplomancy. Since I love her I just laugh, but honestly I will sit back and think about what she said.
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There's honesty and then there's honesty that can hurt someone's feelings. If you choose your words carefully, you can be honest about things without hurting their feelings.
There's also lying and the little white lie. I always compliment a bride at her wedding, whether I like her dress or not. I remember how nice it felt when everyone complimented me at my wedding. |
I believe in being truthful. Sometimes it's better to combine some tact with the truth, but always be honest!
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Originally Posted by rosalia856
I feel if they are a real friend they will tell you things you don't like to hear. But I am sure you have told them more then once<"Be honorest with me" If you don't want to hear the truth then don't ask. I after 50 some years have put a friendship into danger. Only because I said ," I don't believe that people are born to be gay, I feel it is a choice" her view is because she thinks you are born that way. I think maybe one of her daughters is gay. I told her I hate the sin,but always love the sinner. That is my take on things
You are supposed to love your friends, not only love the ones who say what you wish to hear. Enough said. I have trully enjoyed reading all the responses to this post. Keep them coming! |
Originally Posted by rosalia856
I feel if they are a real friend they will tell you things you don't like to hear. But I am sure you have told them more then once<"Be honorest with me" If you don't want to hear the truth then don't ask. I after 50 some years have put a friendship into danger. Only because I said ," I don't believe that people are born to be gay, I feel it is a choice" her view is because she thinks you are born that way. I think maybe one of her daughters is gay. I told her I hate the sin,but always love the sinner. That is my take on things
Drinking too much? Using illegal/recreational drugs? Having children without being able to take care of them? Beating your wife? Cheating on taxes? Telling someone that you are sick, when you just don't want to do something or go somewhere? "Forgetting" to tell the waitress that she forgot to include an item on the bill? Selling an item for $10.00 when it can be purchased most places for $2.00? Hiding fabric purchases? Bad-mouthing someone when one really doesn't have all the facts? Treating "the help" badly? Using the office postage meter for personal mail? Or sample the grapes in the grocery store before buying any of them? One of the "problems" of becoming "aware" - is that the excuses don't hold up very well anymore. |
say something like, "well, its not my taste, so I don't think it looks all that good on you!"
------------------------------------ BUT that dusty rose you were wearing last week sure did make your complexion glow!! I don't have to add that the acid green dress she's wearing now makes me want to get out of her way to the bathroom where she'll undoubtedly want to vomit!!! |
Originally Posted by sewwhat85
imho there is a difference in honesty and and being cruel i believe that in a friendship you can be honest in a loving and kind way. If i think what I am going to say may damage the friendship I would not say it or would try to say it in a different way. It all depends on the value of the friendship.It just like your mom used to tell you if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all.
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Tell me the TRUTH always
and especially if I ask. J J |
Or tell "the truth" as one knows it - one may not have all the information/facts about a situation, one may have biases that we may or may not be aware of.
"My truth" may not be the same as "your truth" - even if I feel I'm being as "honest" as I can be. |
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