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Originally Posted by mamaw
EXAMPLE:
I recently went to the coast with a cousin and a friend for the last hoorah before cold weather. There was an ice cream booth offering samples for 25 cents and advertising lobster ice cream. Well, of course we had to try it!! When the owner asked for my opinion....I responded that it was "unique" and I definitely would not want a cone of it. Immediately, my cousin appologized for me and my honest response. I didn't like her doing that and the owner even spoke up and said "I like the honesty. It is fun listening to what people have to say about it". Then he went on to tell us there are 3 whole lobsters in each batch. I didn't feel badly about my opinion, but angered that my cousin felt the need to apologize for me. |
There's a difference between being honest and uncensored about it, and honest and tactful.
I think that their is a way to say what you want to and still be kind. My Dad used to say, "sometimes the truth hurts, but there's always a diplomatic way to say it" |
Originally Posted by bkb
That is the reason I have a few friends and a lot of accquiantances.! Honesty all the way!
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Originally Posted by sewwhat85
imho there is a difference in honesty and and being cruel i believe that in a friendship you can be honest in a loving and kind way. If i think what I am going to say may damage the friendship I would not say it or would try to say it in a different way. It all depends on the value of the friendship.It just like your mom used to tell you if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all.
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Originally Posted by pocoellie
I don't have a lot of "friends" although I have plenty of "acquintances" and that is my choice, but I don't hold back on speaking my mind, although I would never intentionally say anything to hurt anyone's feelings. If you can't speak the truth to a friend, then I don't think it's much of a friendship. My opinion.
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It is a two way street. What I don't like is being lied to. Lying is so easy and really does no good. I won't lie about anything, so I think silence is golden and I also chant to myself " be the puppy". ... If I can't say or do something pleasant, I don't say anything.
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Reminds me of a saying one of my friends uses: Say what you mean, mean what you say, and say it in a nice way.
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I believe in always telling the truth, however --- yoi don't have to tell everything you know, or think. Unasked for opinions are a problem, even if you agree with the person!
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I think sometimes people confuse "being honest" with expressing their opinion. If someone asks you if you like their haircut and it's already been cut, what good is it to say it looks stupid, even if it does? How about " I'm just being honest - I think you need to lose weight". Not very nice,even if it IS honest. I wouldn't want to lie to someone, but I think a lot of things can be left unsaid.
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Originally Posted by frauhahn
The way I see it, if you can't be honest with a friend, it isn't much of a friendship. . .
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