I would say find the good in your spouse and praise them more than you find fault. Think if their dislike is something you suggle with yourself. Divorce is not allowed. You make a convent before God therefore you keep it. It is harder to stay and work things out then to go and see what you lose out on. Never go to bed with anger on your heart be the first to apologize. It has worked for forty years come this July for me.

Marriage is a commitment. When the going gets tough (and it will!), don't give up. I knew I was doing the right thing when I married, and that was part of the basis for keeping on keeping on!

I've been married 41 years and what works for us, is to let each other have their space and time to do things with their own friends and not get mad. Also spend time together doing what the 2 of you like to do. Remember to LOVE that special person.
Always remember your hardest job is making a good marriage last. 2nd hardest job is raising your children. 3rd hardest job is the one you got paid for doing.

I've been married 41 years and what works for us, is to let each other have their space and time to do things with their own friends and not get mad. Also spend time together doing what the 2 of you like to do. Remember to LOVE that special person.
Always remember your hardest job is making a good marriage last. 2nd hardest job is raising your children. 3rd hardest job is the one you got paid for doing.

.

The same advice I give for everything...remember that no thing lasts...not good stuff nor bad stuff. Cherish the good because in the blink of an eye it's gone...cherish the bad, it is the only way you know how good you've got it.

The same advice I give for everything...remember that no thing lasts...not good stuff nor bad stuff. Cherish the good because in the blink of an eye it's gone...cherish the bad, it is the only way you know how good you've got it.

50 years this coming Saturday, April 2. Celebrating on Sunday. Just eat a lot of words before they come out.

1. Never go to bed mad &
2. Your friends will only know what you tell them. Some things are better left unsaid.

I totally agree....and always remember to communicate. Words kept inside will one day explode :-D

I've been married 41 years. I think for us we are both committed to being married for life. At times I've been so upset that I've wondered who signed me up for this!! (oh yeah, that was me).. but we are committed. I always put him first, he is the head of this home.. but he always gets my input and would never do something that I was not fully on board about. What that is, is respect. We love each other, think the best of each other, are committed to each other, and keep our marriage vows sacred. I'm in this for the long haul. No one is perfect, I can't expect that this man I married should be. We don't hold gruges, or bring up past offenses. We always look for the best and have a good time together as much as possible. He would do anything for me and I would do anything he asked me to do. Every day is a new day, start fresh and keep short accounts. Forgive quickly, speak less often and listen intently. Make the other person the most important one. and never never never air your dirty laundry in public (don't talk to anyone about what he does that bothers you).

in a few words; love, commitment and compromise. Remember love means not always wanting your own way and doesn't keep a record of wrongs. If both partners bring these three things to their marriage it should last a long time.

This is a great topic. Thank you for all of the advice.

My husband always tells the grooms, you can always have the last word....Yes dear!!!! It has worked for almost 45 years!!! LOL Oh yes, and lot's of laughs too!!

A good sense of humor is needed every day plus spending some time together. We both have our own interests, mine is quilting and he has several working on cars, bowling plus a few others - give and take is just so needed in any relationship.

Married 33 years. One rough spot at 9 years but we made it through. Laugh alot together. Have mutual long-term dreams and goals. Support each others hobbies (his hobby is guns and you can guess what mine is LOL). Present a united front when dealing with kids issues.

So well said! Ditto all this, and then I would add,
Put God first-He should be the third Person in your marriage.

Don't sweat the small stuff! Kiss and make up! Do you REALLY want to win that argument?

He shows me all the time that I'm the only one for him, and that continues to surprise me - after nearly 50 years. We've always been each other's best friend. I wouldn't want to live with anyone else, and I certainly wouldn't want to have spent my life with anyone else! We share the same values, and family has always come first.

Couldn't say it better.

Remember your wedding vows. Do not write your own. Don't go to bed mad at each other. Its okay to disagree, but not in front of the kids. Tell each other that you love them every day. Grow together, and not apart. 54 yrs. and counting.

Been married 38 years this comming May. We still like to spend time with one another. Best friends.

First of all, I would say that in our 50 yrs of marriage, we never even spoke of the word divorce; murder maybe but never divorce. LOL Communication is key--keep the lines open all the time. Trust is important. My husband used to travel a lot when he was working. If we didn't have trust, I don't know what would have happened. Remember, the two of you are always first and when your children grow up, you want to still be compatible and in love. We used to take weekend trips once in a while and leave our kids with my parents. The kids needed to be away from us as much as we needed to be away from them. Our children are extremely important to us, don't get me wrong, but now that we are older and alone, we can talk to each other and we don't have to depend on our kids for companionship. Most importantly, keep God in the center of your home---not God d--- it. I hope this helps. Good luck Donna

been married 48 yrs in Dec. always make my DH number 1. Never go to bed mad kiss goodnight even if you still feel upset. It's a big give & take and I think woman can give easier than a man so just love each other. Wound you rather live alone or work at your marriage and stay happy together. My Mom told me that if you have and argument with your husband stay and settle it together and she was right. We've never argued to much but I let a lot go that I isn't worth a big deal. Talk and touch each other daily.

My DH and I put each other first in our lives. We both believe that nothing is more important than our love for the one another, and how important it is to protect it. We let go of being right... who cares if you are right~~~is it worth being so mad you can't speak to the one you love?

We also do not talk down about one another to others. We are each other's best friend. Since we are retired and spend most of each day together we always say 'we have good company'. I would marry him all over again if I was given the choice! :D

PS: I agree with ging10ging... touch each other daily. We hold hands when sitting next to one another, even when we are the only two in the room. His hands are so warm! :-D

good advice

47 years and never go to bed angry. Kiss and Hug and each day-I Love You. This has carried us thru many tough times.

And last but not least..Marraige is hard work..never stop working on it or go down different paths..

I tell my kids this all the time! Whether ya are married or just dating or something in-between, you HAVE to commit to it everyday and follow through, every single day. Anything worth doing IS hard, if it was easy everyone would be doing it and then there'd be no point.

that 'agree to disagree" is key for us.. and never give one of the kids an answer unless you check with each other....kids sure will try to get around you!

Don't forget to laugh. Many times we take EVERYTHING SOOOOOOOOO seriously and are so ready to point the finger of blame.... we forget to laugh at ourself.. and together.

1.When your husband calls don't put him on hold, take his call above ALL others.
2.Friends will come and go. Your husband is forever.
I had a friend that I would visit with when my husband would go away for work. I would not see friends when he was home. This was MY choice not his doing. I figured he was gone either 1 or 2 weeks and when he was home I did not want others to come before him. I love him and I wanted to be with him and do things together. Any way back to the friend, she said tha last time I saw her that she did not like it when my husband was home from work cuz she and I didn't do anything together. She said "he gets in the way of our friendship" I told her I was so sorry but he always comes first and I can do what ever when he is away. I never saw her again. She was very upset that I would not goof around with her when he was home. From that I really saw how important it is to stick closely to your husband and friends truly come and go.

3.It is so important to say I love you often.

4.Pray at least in the evenings together, and if need be on the phone together.

5. We made a covenant with God when we married.

6.The things you love about your man is often what you also do no like. Example: I lock up every door and window before bed. My sweetie could go to bed with everything opened. Once he did go to bed with the front door wide opened, when I woke up in the middle of the night I was freaked out. The next morning I told him about the door and his reply was "oh I guess I forgot to lock it. Heck he didn't even close the door :lol:

6.Embrace each other daily and kiss. I still find my husband very handsome and very sexy after all these years! We will be celebrating 35 years next year.

7. you can be happy or you can be right :lol: :wink: :?

Separate vacations. This has worked for us for 42 years.

The only time divorce is an option is if your spouse is physically or mentally abusive - or a child molester. Also, never side with ANYONE else, parents or siblings, against your spouse. Work it out in private. Pick your battles. How important is this "thing" whatever the argument is about, in the scheme of your entire life. Treat each other with respect. Back when I got married, divorce was not an option. Commitment was made, and each person had a choice with how they would behave. I treated him the way I would a best friend. Everyone argues. Try to end the argument so that you both win. Even if you have to postpone making a decision over something for a while.

One of the best things I have learned is to have a meeting of two. Set aside 5 minutes for the person with the issue to talk. The other person is not to say a word during that 5 minutes. When the first person is finished, the other one clarifies, repeats back what the first person said and then responds. NO belittling, or disrespect. It must be a safe place to talk. If you can't reach an agreement then you table the discussion until another time when you can think about it, get more info. or what ever else you need. In a few days you revisit the issue. Sometimes there is no good answer and sometimes you have to agree not to do it at all.
I am working on my first 50 years with this man that I married at 17. It hasn't been easy. His family still does a lot to try and break us up. I will say that my Mother-in-law always treated me well and we were friends until she died. Once we were married she was kind. FIL and BIL felt I took DH away from them.