Grandpa gets audited.....funny!!
 

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying
that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How
about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that
I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side,
and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way
this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily,
he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss intoa huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!

Good one!!

Great one Ditter! I haven't been on the board for awhile. Computer trouble. Talk about old people, these changes are a real learning curve, aren't they?

:thumbup: love it. - need to share this one.

Ditter, you come up with some of the funniest things! Thanks for the laughs.

Thanks for the laugh. :thumbup:

Too Funny!! Love it!

Thanks Ditter!

Thanks, Ditter!! Haven't seen you in awhile and I've missed your jokes :)

Ditter Ditter they just keep gettin better !!! LOL
Happy Thanksgiving !

Ditter, you are the greatest! Love, Love, Love your jokes!

thanks ditter, I have missed seeing your jokes for a while....

Thank you... I needed a laugh!

That was to funny.

Thanks for the laugh. I needed one tonight. Need to go to bed early too, because tomorrow Grandma has 2 grand girls and 1 doesn't like Grandma. she hasn't been around long enough to know her. Hope she doesn't cry too much tomorrow.

Another good one!! :):)

It's cute.

LOL Ditter! Thanks for the chuckle.

Oh, don't you just wish!

Thats a good one, thank you

Now that's funny!!

Thanks Ditter!

My son wants to know what is so funny.

That was really funny. I sent to some of my family members. Thank you, we all need a good laugh to start the day.

Thanks for sharing .. needed the laughs today !!

Good laugh....thanks!!!

Oh, that is too funny.

Thanks Ditter. Great story.

Woohoo! You rock Ditter.

Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny!

:D:D:D That's a good one!

Thanks for another great joke. Keep them coming.!

That's another good one. Keep them coming!