Home Schooling
 

Preface by saying I don't have kids so I don't have an personal agenda for or against.

Just curious if you home schooled your kids or were home schooled yourself and how you feel about it in retrospect.
And why you took it on to begin with, were you an educator? My friends who did it weren't, they said they studied just ahead of whatever their kids were learning :)

I practice Spencerian writing script and got my books from a home school supply place and was totally impressed at how many options they carried for learning things outside the reading/writing/arithmetic spectrum. None involving sports...

We did not home school our children, but our area (small rural community) has a large amount of people who have or are home schooling. My perspective is that there is a large amount of disenchantment with the traditional, public school systems along with a yearning to incorporate religious instruction into the lessons. From what I've observed, those parents add a "coop" to the picture which allows the parents someone else's expertise in teaching a class in which they have an expertise. They share a group's strength to give the students the best of the group's teacher (art, science, etc). The children do very well if in later school years, they go to finish eduction at the high school level. I don't envy or feel sorry for the home schooled kids. It all depends on the kids and the parent's commitment.

I was not home schooled nor did I home school my kids. My daughter-in-law was home schooled and feels she missed out on all the social activities if she had gone to a public school. Also, she is very shy and cannot deal with people or be out in the public. I don't believe in it.

I worry about religious instruction with home schooling, and the reliance of bible study over science and evidence based teaching, and especially that children are missing out on building peer relationships.

I was homeschooled and my DH was too. My parents unfortunately didn't follow any set curriculum and just picked and chose books willie-nillie to study from. We lived out in the country and my parents didn't like driving us around for social stuff, so my siblings and I didn't get many friends. I feel like I didn't get the full advantage of schooling because of that approach.

My DH, on the other hand, his mother enrolled her children in a proper correspondence school and stuck to a schedule. She was willing to hire tutors to teach a subject if she couldn't. Hubby even learnt Greek and Latin! He is super nerdy about Old World history! DH had plenty of social activities, like city baseball and State archery competitions, both which he excelled in. He also joined in church activities and had responsibilities with other boys through that. He had a very wholesome homeschooling experience.

We are intending on homeschooling our own children. I will be doing it like my mother-in-law. She still has all her texts books and the correspondence school she used hasn't changed their curriculum much. Her "school" is still legal in the State of Kansas, so we will "enroll" our children in it and make me the official "principal". I intend to get my kids into 4-H and city sports for social interaction and for peer relationships.

Homeschooling is one of those things in life that it will only be what you make it be. It isn't easy, and it will always take effort. I know many homeschooling families who have given up, but I also know many who have stuck to it and their kids have gone onto college and been top of the classes.

I can only relate to you as it applied to my granddaughter who is now 12 years old. Even though she was in Brownies, Girl Scouts, and dancing, she had no close friends. She didn’t get to select those girls she was compatible with. She missed out, to a large degree, acting silly and goofing off with a friend in a non- structured environment, such as at her house or a friend's house. Being an only child, she really needed to be around her friends. When she was 11, she begged her parents to let her go to school. They were ok with that and now she is very happy. I realize what is good for her may not be the answer for others. Every family is different.

I really have no opinion on it. Not home schooled nor were our kids. They did learn a lot of bad stuff being in public school. Stuff they really did not need to know. Once they start school it is hard to influence them in what you want to do.

I am a retired teacher who did not home school my kids, but I should have! I did provide extra educational help and when my daughter ran into serious problems in elementary, she was transferred to an excellent private school. Later, she went to a public high school. There was all kinds of problems, but I felt that she had to learn to navigate the world and that it was better done while she was home and could be supported and counseled, instead of being naïve and on her own away at the university. She has done very well... ended up with an MBA, good job, etc.

I would encourage home schooling. It takes extra effort, but is well the trouble. Public schools, especially in large cities, are not like they used to be.

Everyone is different, both parent and child and situation and locations. I grew up in Alaska and knew people who were home schooled or who were home schooling. Just like quilting or anything else, it can be well done or not so well done.

There are positives in social skills from having to deal with diverse people and discernment of who is really your friend, sometimes hard lessons learned that way. Teachers face many challenges and hurdles, they can't do everything for every body -- but they can have set ups for specializations that you don't get so easily at home like chemistry. I'm really distressed at the loss of electives in the arts that expose students to different concepts and ideas. I'm also concerned about STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) in public schools and even more so for the home educator. I've just met too many math-phobic people even quilters and we use math and geometry every day! I know in our relatively well off Seattle area there are resources/classes where people knowledgeable in math or other subjects can teach the sciences. With shifting populations, one of my nearby elementary school was used as one of those locations for a year or two.

School was hard on my son, he has some ADD issues and the basic standard classroom is about the worst sort of place for him be. I was a hard working single parent and we just were getting by, couldn't afford private education. The schools never figured it out but I finally did, too late in his senior year, that he was not an auditory learner. After about 5 minutes (or less) lecture turns into the Charlie Brown blah blah blah teacher's voice. At the same time he is gifted and was curious, he probably could have benefited in some ways from home schooling.

On the other hand, I had a friend who was an elementary teacher and early education reading specialist. She had the opportunity to move with her husband and her then 3 year old to a remote site for two years. She confided in me that she could tell her kid wasn't one of the average kids and she needed to get him into a group of peers fast. That was the education he needed more than things she could teach him. When the remote assignment was done, they moved into town and she started him in a pre-kindergarten.

One of my granddaughters was home schooled for several years. In Louisiana, there are prescribed programs that fulfil their learning as if they were in a regular school. When she transitioned to high school, she was totally caught up, in fact, ahead of many of her peers. Her brother and sister tried it and hated it. Both are very bright, straight A students, but they missed the interaction of school, until they started going to a regular school. Now, two years later, I am hearing the same thing from them and their mom is concerned about all the drugs the students have on school grounds even though they are not supposed to have them. She may go the home school route again soon.

The home school students I know were all ahead of the normal student and got to try some things that weren't offered in their normal schools. If they want to do team sports, the local schools are required by law in Louisiana to let them participate. Some of the home schooled student's parents have started up a one day a week outing where there is a guest teacher that brings in something to teach that isn't their basic curriculum. Am I in favor of it? Yes although it doesn't work good for everyone.

We have Common Core in Louisiana. My oldest great granddaughter is failing because she knows her math in the old school way. She doesn't have to estimate an answer because she knows the actual. How crazy is that? I may have to keep her next school year, second grade, and help her get her self esteem back. FYI...when they get to high school, they have to do things as actual, real answers. Some of the kids are getting very confused and a lot of parents hate Common Core to the point of paying thousands of dollars a year to put their kids into private schools, or mom quitting her job to stay home and home school the kids.

Forgot to add: The home schooled kids are permitted to participate in any clubs of their local school and get that extra experience. They get to go to dances and have fun with their friends.

My son also had ADD issues. Learning facts was easy for him but appropriate behavior was something else. We spent more on his elementary education than on college, but he was able to attend a small Montessori school. He saw and was able to model on the good behavior of the other students. I attended a Catholic elementary school. We had a no library, a very limited art program and the only music was choir practice. After I transferred to public school in sixth grade, I was amazed at all I had been missing. It's funny, but the American folklore and folk songs we learned are what stands out in my memory as being a very good thing. All of us kids shared a common American culture that I think was a good base.

I had a Catholic education and we learned way more about religion than anything else. I wouldn't repeat that with my kids for anything.
I don't know much about homeschooling. It isn't something I would have done either. I like the idea of kids being out in the world. Sure, they can learn bad things but if they have a good base at home they'll be okay. That's my take, anyway.

My children went to public and private schools. Both my husband and I had careers so home school was not an option. We were college educated and were on top of their school and extra curricular interests. They all did well in school and are college grads and wonderful parents and partners with their spouses. One of my granddaughters announced in first grade she was not going back to school and was going to be home schooled. My sweet DIL told her she was going to be on that school bus. I personally think home schooled kids miss out on social skills.

It's a tough world out there and I feel kids need exposure to the good things as well as the not so good things. This is where the parents need to step up to the plate and educate them of what is or is not acceptable. Religious training is also very important. They will have to deal someday with the real world out there.

I grew up in the St Louis MO suburbs and very few kids were home schooled back in the 1980's. My brother and I went to the regular public schools from kindergarten through high school. Two brothers who were our same aprox. ages on our street were home schooled from kindergarten through at least 6th grade. Their mother was a hot mess, so their grandmother had custody and raised and home-schooled both of them. She was a retired teacher. I cannot attest to their actual education, but Wow - those two boys were not socialized at all. Their grandparents were super-strict and did not allow them to play with any other kids or go to anyone's house to play or for birthday parties, etc. and they were not in any kind of social groups at all. This had nothing to do with religion- as far as I know the family was not affiliated with any religion.

I think most parents who home school now are making an effort to join other groups and expose their kids to some social interaction. But these two boys are now in their mid to late 40's and are still awkward and just cannot relate to most people. They are not autistic or anything like that.... just not able to socialize like most people do. And I understand being shy or introverted because I am both, but that is not their situation. I think they crave any kind of human interaction they can get (because they missed out on so much as kids) that it sort of creeps people out.

I suppose if I was in an isolated rural area, or an area with a lot of school violence, or if my child had some kind of special needs, I might consider home schooling my child. But they are going to have to interact with the general public when they are adults so I think most kids would be better off just going to the local public schools.

A question/opinion -

How can a parent/guardian teach something he/she does not know ?

We hear about kids not having manners or morals?

If parents/guardians do not have them - or are not home because they are at work or wherever - how can a child learn these things?

Is it up to a teacher (non parent or guardian) to train the kids?

I think kids pick up a lot from their environments (home - daycare ) from a very young age.

Kids are being "home-schooled" when we hold up two fingers and ask "how many fingers am I holding up?" or "Do you want the green or the red balloon?"

Back to the original question that KalamaQuilts asked: The only "experience" I have had with home schooling is observing a group of girls that were learning sewing at a church in Florida being taught by a volunteer. The girls that wanted to learn made some awesome items. (I had heard that a dozen girls signed up, but only six were there when I started going to the sewing group.) The girls were brought to the church by their parents and picked up about 2.5 hours later. They each had their own sewing machine. All those girls have "graduated" now and no sewing class at the moment.

We have 6 relatives who were home-schooled. They have gone on to excel in college. One advantage they had, I think, was that everyone loved to read. If they lacked for someone who could teach them, they figured out how to remedy the situation.

We have no kids so don't know what I would have done but I do have a question.When I am out shopping I see a lot of kids with adults and wonder why they are not in school.My guess is they are home schooled. How are these kids educated if they are out? I know of home schooled that are very smart but may not be the case for some

The families I know of who are home-schooled do it because of religious reasons for the most part.

These children are going to grow up and have to leave their insular worlds and it is going to be a huge shock and disservice if parents home-school without preparing children to think for themselves rather than be taught not to think, but only to have a narrow view.

I think public education, for all its downfalls, gives a wider view of the world and parents can then guide their children towards what is morally and socially acceptable from all the information provided.

Watson

I think socialization is a huge part of schooling and it should not be neglected. I've had parents ( in my own family) who have had kids with social problems that have yanked them from "that evil school" and trained them to be less soical and certainly less open to any ideas that aren't exactly what the parents believe. They set kids up for failure in the real world. I've also had fmaily members who have been in home school co op s that have had wonderful curriculms..but their relgion and skin tones were all the same.

I have a degree in secondary education and have taught at the high school and college level. I did not, however, choose to home school my children. My children were Air Force "brats" and went to several different schools in different states, nations. In public schools the students learn to deal with diversity and they are exposed to other belief systems, and have a wider variety of learning opportunities by trained teachers. In my opinion dedication does not compensate for education, and a lot of learning is through interaction with other students, teachers, etc. This is just my opinion, but my girls, who are in their 30's and 40's now would never trade their educational experiences for home schooling.

Watson, you have said this better than I ever could. You are spot on.

I think the opportunities for "advanced learning" depend a lot on the community one lives in.

I grew up in a small community - that as far as I can tell has not changed all that much, except that now irrigation systems have been installed on some of the farms.

It is - comparatively speaking - very homogenized.

The religious mix is Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, and Baptist.

The major nationalities represented are German, Norwegian, and Swedish.

Comparatively speaking, this is a very non-diverse group of people.

I am 100% in favor of a public school education - But - I believe it is like a 3 legged stool dependent on student, teacher and parent working together or the stool collapses. Administration should only be there for support. You can not just drop your child off and expect great results. The child needs to know the parent is an active participant in their education (that does not require you being at the school, I understand work schedules can conflict). I went to every school event and sports event that I could and their teachers knew who I was. (I did this without being a helicopter parent.) You can sit at the table at night when they do their homework to be available If they have a question. You can read together, you can go places to learn about stuff, you can ask them actual questions about their day. Simple things such as having them figure out how much a tip should be at the restaurant is a teaching moment. I raised 4 kids and they all went to university on a variety of scholarships and assisted several other kids in their quest for education (including one who wanted to go to a trade school). but they knew I was right there to have their backs. So much more than just 'book learnin' happens at a school. They learn about how to deal with people, good and bad, they learn how to handle difficult situations and how to take care of themselves. They learn the importance of helping one another and working as a team. They learn how to cope in the world while they still have a safety net.

Ha ha... I have to shake my head at some of the 'opinions' of those who have had no experience homeschooling, whatsoever. I home educated all three of my children during the 90's and 2000's and finished up when the last one graduated in 2008. I'm sad to see the same old fallacies about homeschooling are still alive and well.

Actually, the "insular world" is in the institutional classroom, where the kids are surrounded by only those of their same age, every day of their life. If they weren't confined to that environment for the vast majority of their waking hours (not to mention tied up with hours more of homework once they get home), they might have time to learn all the other important aspects of life... cooking, building, gardening, raising animals, learning a trade with mom or dad, volunteer work, fine arts training, or whatever their natural leanings are. They would not be subject to "group think" and indoctrination of what is "correct" according to someone who the government hired to "educate" them. They instead grow and flourish within the values of their parents.

In reality, you don't need nearly as much time to educate a child every day when you don't have to waste time dealing with the kids who act out (at worst), or just can't keep up with your child's learning level (at best). It is not necessary to replicate the format of public school, and is not even beneficial.

Home educating families are more often than not part of local support groups with other HE families. There are tons of opportunities to "socialize", learn together, take field trips and just gather to have play days. They are also with peers in church and community sports teams. The concept that HE kids are just kept in a box, is ridiculous. And they are out in society so much more than kids confined to the classroom. They are unfettered! They are commonly very comfortable conversing with people of all ages, especially adults. They have a huge 'leg up' on being productive adult citizens. And they, in large percentage, do become leaders as adults.

School can really harm a child's natural love of learning by boring them, day after day after day.

So I'm offering a few thoughts that may be new to some... from someone who has lived the home educating life.

There is a vast array of excellent curriculum available to choose from. If you send you kids to a school you just have to take what you get!

Glad to see you chime in, Sewbizgirl! I was hoping you would, being a homeschool mom. I agree with everything you said! :thumbup:

I think it depends on where you are and how you choose to approach it. I know several families here who home school. They are part of a home school group in their areas. They network with other families for lots of field trips and social time. I haven't found their children to be any less well socialized than the public school kids and in general a lot more mannerly and well behaved. Its a huge commitment, but I can't say I wouldn't do it considering the state of public schools.

I mentioned my Catholic education, which I didn't like. We were treated like a herd of cattle. There were a minimum of 50 kids per class (usually more) and if you weren't near the top you were at a disadvantage. I went from grades 2-10.
In 7th grade they separated the boys from the girls and then Freshman year I went to an all girls high-school.

In my junior year I elected to go to a large public high school. It was a great experience. I went to school with the richest, poorest, and everyone in between, all races, ethnicities , religions, you name it. I'm so glad my parents allowed me to do it.
It was the best experience I had before college. The diversity was an education in itself. I made many friends along the way I would have never known had I stayed in the other high school.

We had a similar situation when our boys were in school. For most of their formative years they went to a school with kids just like them. When we moved we put them in a more diverse setting and they did just as well academically but were happier socially. They've told me many times those were their best school years before college.
This is a little off-topic but since we're discussing education I thought I'd mention it.

I was an public school educator (HS social studies and 27 yrs as MS counselor) for 35 yrs. I don't think this is an easy answer or "one-size-fits-all" As NZ said--home schooling can be excellent or very mediocre at best. Excellent home school parents are working Very hard not only with a proscribed curriculum that emphasizes not only learning facts, but thinking, and Very hard at getting their children to events that allow socialization. Unfortunately the size & diversity(not just talking race, ethnicity or religion here--but personalities) limits of those socialization events don't work for all kids if only a small group of homeschoolers. And being that home school child that attends a weekly Scout, etc meeting sometimes just makes them feel more isolated as the other kids are seeing each other daily at school.
As a counselor, I've had kids enter M.S. that had spent 6-7 yrs homeschooling and did great--others that were a disaster and I really felt for them. As a H.S. teacher of required (by the State of KS) American History I've had more than one previously home schooled student have to take my final in order to get credit for their home school American History and not pass it. If I had been homeschooling my own two kids, I'm sure they would have failed any math curriculum too!
Some states have very high standards on home school curriculum and performance--unfortunately some, like Kansas, do not, just as long as a parent files a a plan using a published curriculum. But there are no outcomes standards in KS, so some kids get a wonderful education, others a very sub par education--but all "graduate". In our public schools there are outcomes standards, and kids not meeting them are prescribed remediation--otherwise the district is forced to make changes in order to see better results. And yes, every year some public school seniors don't actually graduate--but often there are attendance issues.

I do think that in some locations that are very remote, having elementary students home schooled actually make sense so that kids are not on school buses for hours on end or forced to board with someone in town. But by middle and high school the depth of subjects and social education is so important.

I have a son that is ADHD and there were frankly some teachers that I felt were not sensitive about that and My life would have been easier to home school him--but it was important for him to learn to deal with his disorder in a real world, regardless of how painful at times.
If parents are unhappy with public schools' approach to special education, every state has SE advocates to help with Individual Ed. Plans at no cost and due to federal regulations, special ed services must be outcomes based.

yes, there are some districts that do a better job than others, but the socialization piece is So big with preparing kids for being productive, resilient adults. One note--every public school is required to allow any home schooled student to attend for specific classes (i.e. music, or advanced science, etc) and as a counselor I would encourage parents to take advantage of that so their students get a feel for public ed.

Everyone in my family have gone through public schools. And agree that it all depends on the parents when it comes to Home Schooling. Some parents shouldn't have children, let alone home schooling them. I did the Girl Scout Leader and my DH works with the High School youth group at church. We could tell without being told who was home schooled and who was not. The kids came from different schools so it wasn't like they were all in the same class. Just like schools aren't all good either. It all comes down to the parents and their involvement in their child's education and socialization. We all want to protect our children as best we can, but unless we want them to live with us until the day we die, then they need to socialize. The younger they are when they start socializing the better they will be.

I would never have had the self-discipline to teach my own children the types of things that have to be learned as part of the standard curriculum, but I felt I had a role in showing them the things that school can't show them very well. For example, getting out to just walk around in nature and pointing out things they might not notice, visiting museums or talking about current events at dinner. I tried to follow up and show them that you can find out more about things that seem interesting by going to the library and looking them up. To me the most important role that parents have as teachers - and all parents are their children's first teachers - is to help cultivate curiosity and an appreciation for the wealth of knowledge that is there for them to discover, and also to help them consider important topics and learn to think critically.

Someone I knew took on the task of home schooling her son through his last couple of years of high school because he had a prolonged illness and was getting behind. She and her husband divided the different types of course work between them and did a very thorough job of covering it all. The boy went on to a prestigious college and thrived. I suspect the vast majority of parents would not be able to do as well as these highly educated and motivated parents did. He was their only child, which certainly helped.

In addition to the important social aspects, most schools have a great deal to offer kids that goes far beyond anything parents can do, and they usually have highly trained teachers whose competency is verified. They are also constantly under community scrutiny, whereas nobody really knows what goes on in some homes. Many schools have excellent lab equipment and other resources that would be hard to come by at home. Then there are extra-curricular activities, which provide many areas of learning and growth. My 3 kids did things like band, swim team, computer lab, school newspaper, and Latin, Spanish and German clubs and debate team. Not only was all that very good for them, but colleges look for evidence that students are well-rounded and have had a broad exposure to different ideas and experiences, and that they had leadership roles. Homeschoolers have to work very hard to even come close to providing those kinds of opportunities. I admire those who sincerely try, but some do fall short and their kids are missing out.

Several years ago, I was on the Grand Jury with a woman who homeschooled her children because she did not want them associating with the kids in public schools. I wondered how they would deal with these types of adults later in life. That was such a narrow-minded reason for home schooling her children. The experiences of public school teach so much more in life lessons and how to deal with all types of people.

Later today I am gong to a grandson's graduation from college-the most difficult college to gain admittance to in our state. He is at the top of his class in Computer Science. He and his older brother were home schooled. My DIL did a marvelous job of integrating educational opportunities. There is wonderful curriculum available. The moms in the area had a co-op day; the moms took turns teaching materials, art, crafts, books etc. that they were most interested or skilled in. These kids formed lasting friendships. I would never say they were anti-social. They were not subjected to negative peer pressure, were not subjected to bullying, ridicule and pressure to do drugs, drinking or early sex. These kids have availed themselves of classes offered by the local community college and on-line classes. They all took the standardized tests required along the path. The education my grandsons received was far more expansive that they would have gotten in the local schools. Our local public schools are full of social problems and pressures. I wholeheartedly support home school based education.
And, I might add that I am a trained educator with a significant number of years of experience earlier in my life.

Just popping in to say thank you for the thoughtful responses to my question. Sharyn

Thank you for sharing your observations, quilterpurpledog. You “get” it!

There are some very negative influences in schools. Would it be best for a child to be thrown into the shark tank to deal with them alone at age 6, or let them grow and mature and gain wisdom from their parents before they have to deal with the negatives of socialization? My kids had the opportunity to develop a strong sense of “self” before they had to deal with jerks in their lives. And now they do it very well... better than I do, in fact. My daughter is an amazing counselor for youth with problems.

SBG, I'm just curious here: how do they have access to things like biology and chemistry labs etc? This is not a judgement at all. I've never known anyone who was home educated so I really don't know these things. Also languages and things that aren't offered at home like music etc.
I don't think anyone here is offering their view to make anyone angry. Kalama just wanted opinions.
I may have annoyed some by knocking my Catholic education but I don't mean any harm. Just telling my experience.

Susie, I know you asked SBG, but I have an answer too. :D As quiltingshorttimer mentioned just above, every public school is required to allow homeschool students to attend specific classes, like the sciences that need a lab you mentioned. As for music, you can always hire a tutor. My Dad is a music teacher and would often get homeschool kids going to him for private lessons for years. He really enjoyed teaching them and they always loved their weekly lessons. That's how my Dh learned Greek and Latin, by private tutoring.

Home education isn't a "handicap" or a stunting of children's knowledge.

I'm sorry your Catholic education left a bad taste in your mouth for Catholic religion. But please remember that just because one school was operated like that doesn't make every Catholic, or even private, school like that. I taught in a Catholic school for a year before I met DH and I loved what I saw there. The kids were happy and innocent, just like how kids should be. They were taught so much more than just religion.

This is a wonderful thread.
I went to a Catholic school and feel I got a wonderful education in most things. They were a little lax on history and geography. But I picked that up well later. I had to opportunities to do so and have traveled all over the world.

Some home school parents do a wonderful job, some do not. A family I know home-schooled in the late eighties and early nineties. Father was a square dance caller and a lot of his dancers were family and relatives and their friends. There were two squares of just teenagers. These children were interacting with all ages. They are now wonderful adults and at least two of them are square dance callers. There were eleven squares on the floor at one of their recent dances. Three generations are dancing and interacting together. I think that is important.

I certainly disagree with putting our children in "boxes". We send our children to Day Care when they are days old. Tiny ones are in one room, one and two year olds are together. Throughout life they keep to their age groups.

The homeschoolers in my area have a group that gets together every once in a while for socializing and fun and sports. There they meet other children of all ages, not just ones of their own age.

As a teacher in a one room school museum, I have children come in each day to learn about a 1904 school day. A different school brings their 4th graders each day. Once in a while the home schooled group comes. What I have learned is different about this group is that I find one or two who know very much about history; they can name all the presidents and their vice-presidents. Some are a whiz at math. Some are excellent spellers or can do cursive like Palmer. Do they all catch up later? Maybe.