My dad used to say that something was drier than a popcorn fart.

If he saw a woman wearing to much lipstick or rouge he would say "redder than a foxes arse in persimmon time"

You make my butt want to suck a lemon

Shaking like a dog sh---ing bones

I used to say I should write a book about all his little sayings and my sis would say, Well, I wouldn't put my name on it.

Another saying I've used is "Fools names in fool spaces always appear in public places"

drgranny... I heard many just like yours., life was great wasn't it!!! when DIL would see a gal with a pair of slacks and a large butt he'd say, looky thar, looks like two hogs in a gunny sack........or looks like two hogs skatin on ice. He was such a dear.............

I forgot about one of Dad's favorite sayings about the road condition when it finally rained: "The road is slicker than greased owl snot!" I'm one of 5 kids and we were just amazed that Dad knew about owl snot. :roll:

One bite at a time I heard of but in my country where we have elephants I have never heard of it. Only if you remember very well specially when very old, we say she has a brain like an elephant.

The phrase that comes to me is "a wigwam for a goose's bridle", which always applied to something that no one had an answer for.

You can get glad in the same britches you got mad in. Them that don't listen gotta learn. We were told all the stitches we put in on Sunday we'd pull out with our noses on Monday. How about the starving children in China? etc.

My DH is from Arkansas and his funniest saying is"That is slicker than owl S$%&"i asked him how did he know if it was slick?i Always told my kids_ I"ll slap you so hard your kids will be born dizzy. They never appreciated this.

this is too funny My dad always used say "I haven't seen you, since shep was a pup." or "fine as frog hair" "You're knee high to a grasshopper"

How about "that dog don't hunt!"
Or "If you want to run with the big dogs you've got to get off the porch"
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step"
"Pretty is as Pretty does" and "you're judged by the friends you keep"
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today."
"A penny saved is a penny earned."
"Waste not, want not"
My Dad used to say something was as "slick as snot on a door knob"
and my Mom would threaten to "jerk off our arm and beat us with the bloody stump" Or she was going to "reach down our throat and jerk us in-side-out" She was a real sweetie.

when the older kids would iritate me I'd ask them "to play in the street". my mom used to say "I'll beat you into next week" and one day my older brother told my mom "that's ok we can finish on thursday" us kids would be rolling on the floor laughing so hard my mom couldn"t keep a straight face.