Idle Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind
 

Idle Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind:
I planted some bird seed.
A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it
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I had amnesia once---or twice
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I went to San Francisco .
I found someone's heart. Now what?
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Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
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If the world were a logical place,
men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
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What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
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They told me I was gullible
and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home
and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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Experience is the thing you have left
when everything else is gone.
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One nice thing about egotists:
they don't talk about other people.
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My weight is perfect for my height--
which varies.
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I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.
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How can there be self-help "groups"?
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If swimming is so good for your figure,
how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
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Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN,
YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE,
SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS

OMG Ditter! That is hysterical! Off to share it all over the place! Thanks :D

Thanks Ditter, these gave me a much needed laugh today :D

Ditter. You're too much! I needed to laugh today margee

Love today's message, will share it with my friends. Thank you for a giggle or two.

LOL! Thanks for a good early morning laugh. I needed that before I get up and get busy!!!!

Thanks for the chuckle to go with my morning coffee! What a great way to start your day!

Such laughs, Ditter! Thanks!

Thanks for making my morning!!! You are so great to post fun things. Thanks again.

You are amazing, Ditter, with your humorous sharings. You brighten my day! :D