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Thread: Idle Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Idle Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind

    Idle Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind:
    I planted some bird seed.
    A bird came up.
    Now I don't know what to feed it
    ********************
    I had amnesia once---or twice
    ********************
    I went to San Francisco .
    I found someone's heart. Now what?
    ********************
    Protons have mass?
    I didn't even know they were Catholic.
    ********************
    All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
    ********************
    If the world were a logical place,
    men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
    ********************
    What is a "free" gift?
    Aren't all gifts free?
    ********************
    They told me I was gullible
    and I believed them.
    ********************
    Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home
    and, when he grows up,
    he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
    ********************
    Experience is the thing you have left
    when everything else is gone.
    ********************
    One nice thing about egotists:
    they don't talk about other people.
    ********************
    My weight is perfect for my height--
    which varies.
    ********************
    I used to be indecisive.
    Now I'm not sure.
    ********************
    How can there be self-help "groups"?
    ********************
    If swimming is so good for your figure,
    how do you explain whales?
    ********************
    Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
    and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
    ********************
    Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
    ********************
    TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN,
    YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE,
    SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    OMG Ditter! That is hysterical! Off to share it all over the place! Thanks
    http://s1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh485/KitsieH/
    Never regret growing older, its a privilege denied to many.
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

    Kitsie

  3. #3
    Super Member merry's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter, these gave me a much needed laugh today

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Ditter. You're too much! I needed to laugh today margee

  5. #5
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    Love today's message, will share it with my friends. Thank you for a giggle or two.

  6. #6
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    LOL! Thanks for a good early morning laugh. I needed that before I get up and get busy!!!!

  7. #7
    Super Member Cindy60545's Avatar
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    Thanks for the chuckle to go with my morning coffee! What a great way to start your day!

  8. #8
    Super Member coopah's Avatar
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    Such laughs, Ditter! Thanks!
    "A woman is like a tea bag-you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt

  9. #9
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    Thanks for making my morning!!! You are so great to post fun things. Thanks again.
    Aunt Janey

  10. #10
    Super Member MaryMo's Avatar
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    You are amazing, Ditter, with your humorous sharings. You brighten my day!
    Make it a scrappy happy day!

  11. #11
    Member Helen20906's Avatar
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    Every morning I go into the Quilting Board and do a search for the name "Ditter." When you do a posting, you start my day off with a smile and enjoyable thoughts. Thank you.

  12. #12
    Super Member
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    Ditter: Thanks for once again brightening my day! I think Congress should declare you a National Treasure!

  13. #13
    Super Member CAS49OR's Avatar
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    These are great! I think a lot of people in Eugene, OR were raised with manners, they sure do not have a clue about how to merge onto the highway, lol!
    :-)
    CAS

  14. #14
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    Where DO you find these Ditter? So funny.

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    Great. You made me smile.

  16. #16
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter.
    Mary

  17. #17
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    Thanks for the laugh!!

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