If I went back and didn't know more than I knew then, I'm afraid I would probably end up right where I am now.

If I could back and be more secure in myself, I would never have married, caused my parents some awful heartache and I definitely would have been a much better daughter!

Either that, or I would not have taken that first breath at all!

Jill, I am so sorry for your loss. Be comforted by knowing she knew how much you loved her, she would have loved the pillows but sister love is an amazing blessing. Hugs and prayers and comfort from many wonderful memories.

Nothing. Live life with no regrets.

Not all of my past has been happy, some of it awful, but it has made me into who I am today. I wouldn't trade the past for the "what if's" or "could have beens".

Am I perfectly happy with who I am today? NO, but I have a wonderful husband - that took me 3 tries to get, wonderful children and grands that I wouldn't trade, a job that says "see you tomorrow" and keeps me out of the poor house. My parents are alive and fairly healthy, other family members have issues but who doesn't? We have plenty of food on the table and enough to share when others come over and I have a fabric stash that isn't hidden.

So, is life good? I'd have to say it's better than it has ever been and it's up to me to keep making it better. I am responsible for my own happiness...no one else is. I do love the life I live.

Hmm.. this is a tough one. Mistakes and all I am happy with my choices. I do not regret thinking I was ready for motherhood at 18 instead of finishing college first because that miracle is 6 and the best part of my life. I do not regret getting married at 19 to my high school sweetheart that I had been dating for 5 years at the time. I do not regret having the best parents, that adopted me at 5 weeks old, that a girl could wish for. I like being raised as an only child.
I regret being molested at 13 by an uncle and instead of simply stopping it and pretending it didn't happen I had his ass put in JAIL. I regret not being born to my mom.I regret having to deal with knowing who birthed me and the fact that they kept my older brother and younger sister. I regret not being able to fully understand why I was not good enough and they were even though I wouldn't dare voice it to them. I regret not being closer to my "sister and brother" even though they have each other. I regret not knowing my neices and nephew and them not knowing their cousin. But even if I could change what I have done, the things I regret are not things of my doing. I can only continue forward knowing that I will never do to another what has been done to me. I love my son and will be responsible enough to care for any children I have and not give them away because I don't feel like being mommy to more than one child. I will not make my child question his self- worth because I don't want to admit fault in my own actions.
Sorry, I guess the question got to me a bit :/ I think maybe it's time for bed before I write you all a book! Apologies for the rant.

I agree...one foot in front of the other...living each day as good as it can be...

Jill
So sorry for your loss. Having two sisters that are really close I know you must really miss her. Hugs.
Ellen

Husband #1 would have been just ex-boyfriend #3 and I would have gone to college but I love my kids and the grandkids and Husband #2 so it all turned out well in the end.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how lonely my life would be without my so loved sisters. You are in my prayers Jill.

education

Dreamer, that's the saddest thing I ever heard. You broke my heart. Have you thought about therapy? It may help you deal with your feelings.

Goodness this question really had me stop and think!! I have had some really (interesting) life experiences and my choices at times were perhaps questionable (I know my parents thought so) but when it comes right down to it I am here today the product of my life experiences and I am GOOD! I have a great DH, it took more than one try to find him, we will never been money rich, but we are comfortable and loved and what more is there?

Never have settled for second best.

Theres so many thing that happen to us during our path that make us who we are to change that well gosh, I kinda like me. Would things have turned out better? I see people that seem to be having an ideal life and then once you get to know them they too have simular problems or worse ones. So I guess I'd change something small, I would have never started dying and bleacing my hair, boy is it a pain to get it back to its natural state!

I don't know what I would change that wouldn't effect my life now. If I had said no to my daughter 7 years ago when she wanted to move away, I wouldn't have the beautiful granddaughter that I have now. If I had insisted that my son to stay in school and not get married at 17 I wouldn't have the 3 grandchildren he and his wife of 15 years have provided for me. Maybe the one do over I would do is turn to God more than I have in the past.

so sorry about your loss

I wouldn't change a thing, not one thing, no matter how good, or bad, because if I hadn't done this, that wouldn't have happened, or if I did do that, that would have happened. I have gone through two bouts of cancer with my husband and there isn't a thing I would have done different. If I had, maybe I wouldn't have him today, or yesterday or tomorrow.

God gives us our day to do as we will and we cannot look back and expect that it would be better or worse. We do each day as it comes and make sure the Devil takes the high road.

Edie

Marrying DH. I'd've done it sooner.

Be more daring and not take life so seriously.

You made me get teary. You cannot change where or who you came from. You made yourself who you are and I believe you are a really good person with a wonderful heart. You have a cyber family here who loves you!
Hugs.

I wouldn't change a thing.
I gave up a full ride to college to move with my new DH for his first job. We have been married for 36 years. He still treats me like a princess. My kids are grown, happy and successful and are good people. My grandgirls are wonderful. I like my job.
A few weeks ago my hubby and I were sitting in our porch swing holding hands. He looks at me and says, "Do you know how lucky we are? We may not be rich, but we are still in love and content. How many people our age can say that?".
Nope, wouldn't change a thing.

:thumbup:

I would have bought the cheap block of land I was considering - that is now in the middle of Millionaires Row.

Not move from Il. to Ga. I really miss my grandkids and children.

We would have gone to church, as a family, regularly.

I have read many answers to this question, trying to think of mine. Scotlass really summed it up for me. I have had 3 men in my life, with one 3 children who are very dear to me, and my 3rd husband is a "keeper". What's that saying "third time is a charm". But on this road, there has been some real SPEED BUMPS to contend with. They have made my life stronger and interesting, and without them I wouldn't be where I'm now. That is what life is about, events good and bad and how you deal with them.
Today, is a year since I flew to Florida to be with my daughter as she laid in a hospital bed . All because of drugs. Another event that has affected my life, would I change it ????? It made me stronger to face..what..I do not know. Staci, is alive and trying to stay clean and I'm praying that she can do it.
We have control over the small things and have to "tolerate" the hard things. You must remember ,you didn't cause the problem, you can't control everything in our lives, nor cure everyone problems. Live your life the best you can and the smile...they will wonder what you are up to.

I always wanted to be a nurse and achieved my goals in 1990. Now I wish I had become a CPA instead. Because I am a nurse, my family thinks I should be taking care of everyone and I do, with no help from any of them. Well, at least I have my my quilting to keep me sane(LOL...most of the time).

I would have skipped college and travelled instead.

I would have made my current house a little bigger when we built it.

I would have taken better care of my teeth.

I'd marry my DH again. 42 years together. I was 19 he was 23 and fresh back from Vietnam. I don't regret a minute of our lives together and love him more every day. We raised 4 children of our own and 3 precious strays that wandered in with them over the years. Had a sweet DIL die at 20 and had the privilege of raising a granddaughter that is like our own child. Joy and tears. Mostly joy.
Ann in TN

start about 13 and know many of the things I know now

I would not ahve married my last husband - he left me destitute

I would not have gotten married so young, I would have liked to gone into the Air Force as planned. I still wanted to be a mother so I know I would have had kids anyway.

June 10, 2006. My husband and I would not have gone to Portland, but stayed home and went to the movies with our daughter. Then my daughter wouldn't have suffered her TBI and we wouldn't have lost her.

Jill, I'm sorry. Sending you hugs and prayers.

going to college

wow. . . to not have bad mouthed my lieing, cheating ex in front of his/our daughter. he deserved it. she didn't. spent yrs apologizing to her for that and mincing my words.

Skipped college, gotten married earlier to DH, started quilting earlier and had way more children.

I do think the harder parts in life is what shaped me and made me who I am.

I know how that feels. my sister died 5 years ago and I still miss her. Sorry for you loss.

I discussed this very thing with a friend of mine. I told him that I wanted a 'do-over' in life. To start, I would never have married my ex regardless of the pressure put on me by both families. He is a no-good abusive bully. I would have majored in something in college that I CHOSE...not what he chose. I would have lived my life so differently. But since I was weak and not strong enough to stand up to people in my life and say NO...I wasted years that cannot be taken back so NOW I choose what I want to do in life. I've learned to be strong and say no to people. I enjoy life as much as possible. But, if money were not an issue I would open a quilt shop and spend my days helping others learn to enjoy the art. I think most of us can think of one 'pivotal' event in life that we wish we could change, but life is precious and we cannot recapture the lost time so we must not look back but look forward and live life to the fullest. I like the saying that we cannot take back the words once spoken, the stone once thrown, or take back wasted time so we must be wiser and more careful in the future.