Important questions for older folks.....funny!!
 

Important Questions and answers
Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When done, you have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the
bible... Is that true? Where is it?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .."

Q: How can I increase the heart rate of my over-60 year-old mate?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q: Why should 60-plus people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year
olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember all these!"



SMILE, You've still got your
sense of humor, RIGHT?

LOL Love it! Guilty of #10!

Ditter43 you are such a refreshing person. I always stop and read what you have to say. Never fails to bring a smile to my face no mater how bad things seem to be. Thank you for the smiles and laughs.

You've done it again. Always enjoy your posts.

I laughed out loud at this one . Thanks !

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the
bible... Is that true? Where is it?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .."

OMG ... almost wet myself when I read the one about fixing the crows feet!

Thanks Ditter!:thumbup:

As usual, you brought a smile and laugh. I send most of them on to friends and family. Thank you Ditter. God bless.

How very true, I loved all of them..

THANKS for the uplift !!!

How very true, I loved all of them..

THANKS for the uplift !!!

Ditter 43: Many of your "topics" I find amusing. However, recently there have been a few =this thread for instance that I find offensive and wonder how they got thru a moderator. I did not finish reading this thread.

Will have to send that to my "old" friends! Very funny.

#7 is me--there are way to many white cars out there and i can never remember if it was row 1 or 10 that the car was last seen in

#10 reminded me of when my dad would lose his glasses....he'd gather us 4 girls around and tell us to find them and don't come back till you do. After about an hour, we'd draw straws (we had a practically bald broom) to see who was going to go tell dad they were on his head.

Margee, surely you jest

Ditter has the BEST sense of humor. Thanks again.

Ok i finally quit laughing so i can type, those are sooo cute, thank you so much for the laughs Ditter, you are wonderful.

Please, do not start in on Ditter, I love all the jokes she sends, and they are not offensive!!! You yourself said you find her "topics" amusing, so how can you say such a thing?? If it weren't for her and some others we wouldn't have jokes at all. So, please leave her alone.

By the way, the moderators have a sense of humor, you might get one for yourself!!

Thank you

Love them Ditter. Thanks for the laughs.
Hugs

These are so true! I was out shopping a few weeks ago and when I got out of my Jeep I put on a pair of sunglasses. The people in the truck in front of me were smiling so I smiled back. Then they started outright laughing. I just smiled and went on into the store. Once inside I no longer needed the sunglasses so I pushed them to the top of my head, only to find another pair of sunglasses and two pair of readers already resting there!

These are so true! I was out shopping a few weeks ago and when I got out of my Jeep I put on a pair of sunglasses. The people in the truck in front of me were smiling so I smiled back. Then they started outright laughing. I just smiled and went on into the store. Once inside I no longer needed the sunglasses so I pushed them to the top of my head, only to find another pair of sunglasses and two pair of readers already resting there!

Thanks for the chuckle!

Excellent....I especially like the one with the man living in basement!!!