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Let me preface this by saying I'm not advocating anything here. It's just meant to be a laugh.

An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

Suddenly, the atheist heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, and saw a seven foot grizzly bear charging toward him. The atheist ran as fast as he could along the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He tripped and fell to the ground.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear right on top of him, reaching toward him with its left paw and raising the right paw to strike...

At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

A bright light shone upon the man,
And a voice came out of the sky.

"You deny my existence for all these years, you teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light. "Well, it would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now. But perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

A pause ...

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.

And the bear dropped his right arm,
brought both paws together,
bowed his head and spoke...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive."