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Originally Posted by Olivia's Grammy
(Post 5433671)
When my DS was small he was caught with the tubes that tampons come in. They were in his pocket, he was taking them to school for show and tell.
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Originally Posted by DACO48
(Post 5434475)
I have to tell one about a dear friends teenage son. He had gone in to take a shower and had UNFORTUNATELY taken his contacts out. Later in the afternoon he complained his face was burning and was bright red. My friend asked asked him what he had washed his face with and he replied the usual soap in the shower, but he had used the tube of lotion on his face that he had found under the sink. She burst into a fit of laughter and went into the bathroom and brought him the tube of cream he had put on his face. He now had his contacts in and could see the writing on the tube. . . . . . VAGINAL HORMONE CREAM!!!
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Years ago, probably about 35, my sister had been babying some bulbs for couple of years trying to get some tulips to grow along the house. Well, one year, it was looking like they were going to make it. Only a few but some were going to make it. One day though, my precious son about five, came in with a handfull of flowers for his Aunt Robin he had picked "just for her." She took one look and started to get teary eyed but she thanked him and made sure he knew how much she appreciated those flowers he had picked just for her. No more bloomed that year, but she never let him know what he had done. Don't think she has ever told him.
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My 8 year old grandangel, Billy, was spending a weekend with me and on Saturday wanted to "do something together". I said what do you want to do? He said we could paint your sewing circle. Huh?.....what sewing circle? ...He pointed to the wall behind me where my embroidery hoop was hanging!
This same little angel wanted to buy me new safety pins for Christmas because all of mine were bent! |
Originally Posted by Olivia's Grammy
(Post 5433671)
When my DS was small he was caught with the tubes that tampons come in. They were in his pocket, he was taking them to school for show and tell.
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It's so funny, as I'm reading these they mostly stem from the joy we've gotten from our kids or the kids in our lives. Too many people don't take joy in the way our kids see the world; I love it. So here is a couple of mine; one from the past that just got brought up lately due to my DGD and the other more recent.
First; my daughter has two kids; her daughter 17mos has been saying the 4 letter word S_ _ T. She told me, how do I punish her for it when she doesn't know what she says even though she always seems to bring it up at the right time. I told her a story about her older brother at the same age. He kept saying the same word and his father would say, he doesn't know what it means so you can't do anything. Even when his parents came to HI to visit and we went to a really nice resturant and my son dropped his fork and used the word, my husband said he doesn't know what it means. Then the last week we lived in HI we stayed at a cabin on the beach and one night our collie was out on the beach doing his business and my son pointed and said, "look Sammi Jo S_ _T", I looked at my husband and said, now you are going to still tell me he doesn't know what it means. That kind of stopped that one. Next is my daughters 6yr old who always makes me laugh; First when my daughter found an old necklace of mine and he thought it was really pretty. I told him it was called tigers eye. He looked at me real serious and said now wait a minute, you are telling me that someone caught a tiger and took its eye out and made that necklace. I could only laugh. Just lately while putting my contacts in he said I need contacts GiGi, I said no you don't. He said yes, because his eyes hurt. I told him that meant he needed to take a nap and that people wore contacts because they needed help seeing better. He said then he knew he needed contacts because when he closed his eyes to go to sleep at night he couldn't see a thing. I started laughing so hard and said honey, no on can when they are sleeping. I've had 6yrs of his doing things like this and I hope I have many, many more. I'll never grow tired of it and I hope his sister keeps me laughing as much as he has. |
Enjoying all the cute stories and here is one I was just told by a friend. She was taking her daughter and another 6 yr. old girl home from the pre-kindergarten day at school and listening to them converse in the back of her van. They were both feeling very "big". Josie said to Janelle, "We made smudge ice cream last night and it was really good!" Then she thought a bit and said, "No, I think it is FUDGE ice cream that we made". Janelle looked very serious and said, "Yes, that would be right, and a smudge is one of those things that you clean with!!" (Sponge!) Suzanne got quite the laugh out of that.
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I love all of these! I should have gone to bed an hour ago...just had to read these!
My dgd at 3 called our kittens 'catties' and even now at 4, when she is thirsty, she says, 'Nana, I'm drinky' When my ds was about 5 or 6, he came home from school and went to change his clothes. I had been cleaning out his drawers, taking out things he had outgrown. He came running out saying, 'Momma, I think i've been robbed!' Another dgd about 4 1/2 was telling me about a cricket she heard outside. She told me when she looked at it, it paused. I have really enjoyed my grandchildren. |
i have so many cute kids' stories because i taught and then directed pre-school, and i am blessed with 3 talkative charming off spring. in my 3yr old class i had a train laminated to the floor to help the children line up. one little boy stood at the end of the train and let everyone get in front of him. i asked him what he was doing and he told me! " i want to be the end of the train. i want to be the commode." ( ok, betcha at least smiled :D).
one day during recess i was taking advantage of the quiet and used the commode in our room. suddenly the door flew open and there stood robert,"my mommy has pink panties, too!" he said. :o since he had come in to use the facilities, i sent him out of the bathroom to fetch something from the classroom and i restored my clothing. in troops robert and he's doing 'the dance.' i headed out of the br only to be called back. he wanted me to stay. i was trying to give him as much privacy as i could in a room slightly larger than a phone booth. when robert spoke and drew my attention back to him. there he stood, facing the bowl, and he demonstrated, "my dad taps it like this. but i like to shake it like this." i was flabberghasted and nearly bursting holding in the laughter. when his mom came in to get him after school. i had to tell her the story. she made me promise NEVER to tell her dh or he would never be able to talk to me if he knew i knew. kids are soooo fun!! |
Originally Posted by nancia
(Post 5448418)
i have so many cute kids' stories because i taught and then directed pre-school, and i am blessed with 3 talkative charming off spring. in my 3yr old class i had a train laminated to the floor to help the children line up. one little boy stood at the end of the train and let everyone get in front of him. i asked him what he was doing and he told me! " i want to be the end of the train. i want to be the commode." ( ok, betcha at least smile
one day during recess i was taking advantage of the quiet and used the commode in our room. suddenly the door flew open and there stood robert,"my mommy has pink panties, too!" he said. :o since he had come in to use the facilities, i sent him out of the bathroom to fetch something from the classroom and i restored my clothing. in troops robert and he's doing 'the dance.' i headed out of the br only to be called back. he wanted me to stay. i was trying to give him as much privacy as i could in a room slightly larger than a phone booth. when robert spoke and drew my attention back to him. there he stood, facing the bowl, and he demonstrated, "my dad taps it like this. but i like to shake it like this." i was flabberghasted and nearly bursting holding in the laughter. when his mom came in to get him after school. i had to tell her the story. she made me promise NEVER to tell her dh or he would never be able to talk to me if he knew i knew. kids are soooo fun!! OMG this is so funny. |
Gotta tell you this one: This evening DH and I were dining at our favorite Mexican restaurant. This large party of ten came out to the patio and all sat down. The twin boys (maybe 3) sat together on the end near our table. They each ordered a quesadilla. When their food arrived, the twin wearing the glasses, sat back in his chair and folded his arms in front of him completely unhappy with his dinner. His mom said "What's the matter?" to which he replied "They forgot to put the yellow in my cheese again!" She says well you ordered a quesadilla and that's how they make them here. With that, he simply pulled the queso dip over in front of his plate and said "well, they put plenty of yellow in here - I'll just do it myself." He was perfectly content dipping his quesadilla in that yellow cheese dip, but he did lean over to his brother and say "How can you eat that when it's all wrong?" His brother was perfectly content. Kids are too funny...
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I was reminded of a couple of my kid's funny sayings the other day. When Katherine was little, she would get "up-sided" (excited)! And my DS would be "re-hausted" (exhausted). We still say both of those things!
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These are too funny.
When my three year-old nephew gets mad at me, he tells, "I'm not your aunt anymore." |
Originally Posted by qbquilts
(Post 5460793)
These are too funny.
When my three year-old nephew gets mad at me, he tells, "I'm not your aunt anymore." |
When my DD was little, she was explaining our family to me. "Mimi (my mother)is the Grandmother. You are the Grandaughter. And I'm the grand sister".... I guess I was "the grand daugher" because I was the daughter of the grandmother. And DD was her brother's sister, so, I guess it all makes sense now...
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I have one my 10 year old son got ahold of my spray basting and decided to spray it on the floor. I asked him why he did it and he said he wanted the cats (kittens) to stick to the floor so they would leave him alone.
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When I was in college, I was a live in baby sitter for a family. The baby turned 2 and got to open all these presents, and all the presents where for him. I found him the next day in my bathroom under the sink. He found my box of pads, those ones that are prettily wrapped so as not to be obvious. He had opened every single one then asked me why I had wrapped them.
I'm bad about not completely listening on the phone with my mom. She gets to talking about her friends that I don't know and I do the "uh huh, oh, really, yeah" while I do something else. One day I heard her say "How are you?" So I answered, "Fine, how are you doing?" She started laughing, she's from Missouri/Kansas area and she was talking about Hawaii, everything that ends in an I is pronouced "a" Missoura, Hawiaya.... |
we used to have a lot of fun at my mom's expense. we were 3 girls in stair step position ( every 2 yrs). when one of us would call mom we would keep her guessing which one she was talking to. our voices were so alike she had to wait for a clue like a husband's or pet's name, or a specific mention of our job. the challenge was keeping the conversation going the longest without her guessing correctly. i was so good at it, that if the conversation went long enough then it had to be me. lol
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I recently visited family in Indiana and was talking to my cousins GGD who is 3, I asked if I could hold the toy she had and she let me hold the sea turtle. Well, I worked with children most of my life so I was talking to the stuffed turtle. When I handed it back to her she looked at me and very seriosly said'It is just a toy sea turtle and toys do not talk." LOL
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OH MY WORD!!! I laughed sooooo hard! Thanks, thanks to everyone for sharing!!! "Kids say the darnest things"?!!! They say it as they see it!!! Reminds me when my grandkids small. They are growing up toooooo fast. My 2nd grandson used to say "commaudie" for commode & potty. My baby girl GD used to say "pupcake" for cupcake. When real small they'd say Uncle Wandy for Uncle Randy. Thank God I still have my memories, even if grandkids aren't living close to me anymore, they are living now in China! I pray to go visit them in Oct. Am trying to keep it a secret... Paperwork, wow!!!
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My nephew was watching cartoons and when my sister walked in he asked, "What does an eardrum look like?" She asked why he wanted to know and he said, "Well, something fell out of my ear and it looked like an eardrum to me so I put it back in." She flushed out his ear and found......a chunk of earwax.
He's the same on who, when we were driving on a bridge over the Mississippi river asked what the water was. I told him it was the Mississippi river and asked him to say 'Mississippi'. He said, "My can't say it." I asked him to try and pronounced it Miss-iss-ippe. He said, "My can't say Missihhippi, but my Mom can." |
Okay, a little background, first. My daughter is 2-1/2 years older than my son. When my son was born, we always cautioned my daughter to be careful around him; he was a baby. She took that advice, to heart. Too much to heart. One day, when my son was about 3, my daughter came to me, crying. She told me DS kept hitting her and she was afraid to hit him back, since he was "the baby." I advised her to defend herself and when he hit her, to hit him right back (trust me, she wasn't big enough to actually hurt him). Not to "hurt" him but rather to show him the error of his ways . . . and that if he made a habit of hitting people, they're gonna hit back! Better to nip it in the bud, IMO. So she ran back upstairs, a determined little girl. Short while later, DS comes downstairs, all in tears (with DD trailing after). I asked him to tell me what happened. He stopped crying, then started telling the sequence of events, re-enacting this little drama . . . he did this, she did that, he did such-and-such, "and then SHE HIT ME!" With that, he smacked himself on the side of the head and went stumbling half-way across the room, fell to the floor, then started crying for all he was worth! Oh, he was good! Well, I slapped my hand over my mouth, as quickly as possible . . . but it was useless. Needless to say, the child was not hurt . . . and once he realized I was laughing, he gave it up and started laughing, himself (with many repeats of the famous slap and stumble). Children! Gotta love 'em! Oh, and that was the last time, he hit his sister. :thumbup:
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When my grandson was about 3, he spent many weekends with me. One morning I cut a fresh orange into eights, peels on, and gave it to him to eat. He bit into the first one, sucked on it a bit, and, then, in a very surprised voice said.
"Oma, this has ORANGE JUICE in it!" |
Originally Posted by Neesie
(Post 5461854)
Okay, a little background, first. My daughter is 2-1/2 years older than my son. When my son was born, we always cautioned my daughter to be careful around him; he was a baby. She took that advice, to heart. Too much to heart. One day, when my son was about 3, my daughter came to me, crying. She told me DS kept hitting her and she was afraid to hit him back, since he was "the baby." I advised her to defend herself and when he hit her, to hit him right back (trust me, she wasn't big enough to actually hurt him). Not to "hurt" him but rather to show him the error of his ways . . . and that if he made a habit of hitting people, they're gonna hit back! Better to nip it in the bud, IMO. So she ran back upstairs, a determined little girl. Short while later, DS comes downstairs, all in tears (with DD trailing after). I asked him to tell me what happened. He stopped crying, then started telling the sequence of events, re-enacting this little drama . . . he did this, she did that, he did such-and-such, "and then SHE HIT ME!" With that, he smacked himself on the side of the head and went stumbling half-way across the room, fell to the floor, then started crying for all he was worth! Oh, he was good! Well, I slapped my hand over my mouth, as quickly as possible . . . but it was useless. Needless to say, the child was not hurt . . . and once he realized I was laughing, he gave it up and started laughing, himself (with many repeats of the famous slap and stumble). Children! Gotta love 'em! Oh, and that was the last time, he hit his sister. :thumbup:
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These were the cutest stories - I love these little walks down memory lane. I'd so love to hear some more.... :-)
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This happened just about a month ago. I had picked up my 4 year old GS from preschool.we were going home and I saw 2-3 flocks of geese flying. I pointed them out to him. He said " Look Grandma! They are flying in a V like in the alphabet! And I see an H, an A, and. B....." I live with my daughter and grandsons so I hear these things daily! It's hard to be serious when they are saying such funny things.,
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When my grandson, Billy, was 6 years old he wanted to do some arts and crafts with me. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said we could paint your sewing circle. Whaaat? I said what sewing circle? He pointed to the wall behind me where my wooden embroidery hoop was hanging! This is the same child who told his mama he wanted to buy me new safety pins because all of mine were bent!
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Please do not take offense to this one...but it sure is darn cute... when my parents were first married, they lived way up north Wisconsin in a very tiny hick town...when my two oldest brothers were 4 and 5, they moved to Milw. My younger brother was outside eating a homemade ice pop...and a little neighbor boy who was black came to sit by him, and he asked if he could have a lick..my brother told him to go home and wash his face and hands and he could. So Jamison did so...he came back..asked again..my brother sent him home again...on the third time, he told the little guy...you better go see my mommy..she can get all the dirt off me. So my mother had to explain the skin color difference and those two have been friends since...matter a fact... Jamison was a groomsman at my brothers wedding....and Jamison started his little speech out by saying...I hope you don't mind toasting with me, but I tried and tried and tried..to get clean..and I just can't seem to get clean... so... Jamison's entire family...along with mine...were laughing till tears were running.. so Jamison told the entire story to the entire wedding guests.. This happened back in 1956.
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Originally Posted by mythreesuns
(Post 5902391)
Please do not take offense to this one...but it sure is darn cute... when my parents were first married, they lived way up north Wisconsin in a very tiny hick town...when my two oldest brothers were 4 and 5, they moved to Milw. My younger brother was outside eating a homemade ice pop...and a little neighbor boy who was black came to sit by him, and he asked if he could have a lick..my brother told him to go home and wash his face and hands and he could. So Jamison did so...he came back..asked again..my brother sent him home again...on the third time, he told the little guy...you better go see my mommy..she can get all the dirt off me. So my mother had to explain the skin color difference and those two have been friends since...matter a fact... Jamison was a groomsman at my brothers wedding....and Jamison started his little speech out by saying...I hope you don't mind toasting with me, but I tried and tried and tried..to get clean..and I just can't seem to get clean... so... Jamison's entire family...along with mine...were laughing till tears were running.. so Jamison told the entire story to the entire wedding guests.. This happened back in 1956.
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Originally Posted by sew_Tracy
(Post 5902428)
Great story!!! How innocent kids really are.
They are in 4th grade together this year and are good friends! |
I remember way back when I was going shopping in the next town over from me. I had my daughter who was around 4 in the back seat. I'm guessing she asked me why I was going the way I was. I said...I'm taking the back road to Westboro. She asked, how come you're not taking the front road ? So cute
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My son blended his family (boy and a girl) with another of 2 boys. When they had finished dinner the first night, the kids went to watch TV. The grands wanted to know where their new brothers' TV quilts were. When they heard that the new brothers were quiltless, the grands immediately hauled out their quilts for selection. They were terribly upset by the idea of family members without their own portable hugs. My son and I are very proud of their understanding of the importance of sharing.
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This happened last night. WE have been having Monday night suppers for our family for the last two years. It was too hard to get them together on weekends as the kids multiplied and had activities of their own. So...last night, great grandson Bennett, 5, didn't eat very much of his supper. A few minutes later, he came into the kitchen and his Hunny asked if he needed anything. He said he was looking for the cake. She told him that we had fruit for dessert. (I usually have cake, cookies, or cobbler) He said he didn't want any fruit. Much later (as they were preparing to leave for home, he came up to me and asked,"Mimi, when are you gonna fix the stuff we eat after supper?" :D Poor kid! So I pulled out leftover brownies from the fridge. He was a happy boy!! Lesson learned: I will have dessert next week.
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When there were tornado warnings in Dallas last year, my then 2-yr-old grandson came home from daycare talking about "tomato sirens". I'd rather never have to worry about such things, but that took the edge off a bit.
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My then 3 yo DS was sitting at the dinner table when I placed a little tablespoon of cooked spinach on his plate. His Daddy told him he needed to take at least one bite of it. With his lip curling and shaking he could barely get out the words, "but Daddy, I don't like grass!"
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I love these stories!
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Originally Posted by mythreesuns
(Post 5902391)
Please do not take offense to this one...but it sure is darn cute... when my parents were first married, they lived way up north Wisconsin in a very tiny hick town...when my two oldest brothers were 4 and 5, they moved to Milw. My younger brother was outside eating a homemade ice pop...and a little neighbor boy who was black came to sit by him, and he asked if he could have a lick..my brother told him to go home and wash his face and hands and he could. So Jamison did so...he came back..asked again..my brother sent him home again...on the third time, he told the little guy...you better go see my mommy..she can get all the dirt off me. So my mother had to explain the skin color difference and those two have been friends since...matter a fact... Jamison was a groomsman at my brothers wedding....and Jamison started his little speech out by saying...I hope you don't mind toasting with me, but I tried and tried and tried..to get clean..and I just can't seem to get clean... so... Jamison's entire family...along with mine...were laughing till tears were running.. so Jamison told the entire story to the entire wedding guests.. This happened back in 1956.
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Originally Posted by QM
(Post 5905076)
My son blended his family (boy and a girl) with another of 2 boys. When they had finished dinner the first night, the kids went to watch TV. The grands wanted to know where their new brothers' TV quilts were. When they heard that the new brothers were quiltless, the grands immediately hauled out their quilts for selection. They were terribly upset by the idea of family members without their own portable hugs. My son and I are very proud of their understanding of the importance of sharing.
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OK I'll be the first to tell a story about what I did as a small child:
I was riding in the back of the station wagon. Mom was driving, oldest son in the front passenger seat. Two other brothers sitting in the back seat with me. I leaned up to mom and asked her what color my uterus was. My older brothers began to snicker and my mom calmly answered - "Well I hope it's pink" to which I responded - no look their brown." I meant the Iris of my eye. |
Many years ago I was helping in Sunday School and the teachers ask me to hang up the days work. The group were 5 year olds and she had them copy the verse, "Go and make things right." About the fifth one I hung up had made a mistake. His said "Go and mate things right."
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