loneliness in liberation
 

When you stray away from the norm (pick your platform), does the exhilaration and discovery make up for the less than understanding attitudes of your peers?

You could spend all your time explaining yourself, or you could truly enjoy the exhilaration and discovery. My attitude is do not apologize for growing if someone else wants to wallow. Be kind, but be yourself and enjoy.

good answer ;-) I have no peers, but i see a lot of people struggling with this. well, I guess my family members are my peers, but they just wait to see what happens next. I am lucky that way.

Never try to push your beliefs on others. It dosnt work just makes ruffled feathers.

Your post makes me think...that you can be alone and not lonely, and you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. Doing what feels right isn't always easy, but it beats the alternatives.

Yes! I think you tapped into my stream of consciousness this morning. Thank you for your input ;-)

oh, i'm sorry if that is happening to you, whether you are the one pushing or being pushed upon. The question was more about how one grows. How we look at one another. sorry, being way to philosophical this morning ;-)

thank you for your input.

Do what you feel called to do! Dive in and revel at each new discovery you make. Always be kind, both to others that don't understand where you are going AND to yourself. We are each wired in our own way and to try to be like those around you, when it just isn't true, is cheating yourself!

I'm always pushing (on this board) the idea of trying out new ideas and getting away from patterns... must drive some people crazy...., but I haven't found a quilt that I wanted to make "exactly like that". I love to quilt, but I'm really in love with doing whatever my instincts tell me to do. Does everyone like my quilts? No, but that's OK. I don't love every quilt I see.

Yes, I think ti exhilaration and discovery make up for many things. I didn't begin to be my own person until my early 30's with the help of some very wise people. It is far better to be yourself, quirks and all, than to try to be what someone else says you should be. It is far more freeing, the journey can be scary but it's worth it!

loving all these answers! thank you.

I love your signature. Says it all!

I think removing yourself from expectations may be the freeing part. This is not so much about me, or quilting, but the idea. That is why I put this post in this forum.
I have a friend who just lost her husband to a long illness and she is struggling to find herself, but honestly, she is only one soul I see struggling with ideas out of the "norm". thank you for your input.

To ones on self be true, if not one does not find true happiness. I answer to no one but God for who I am and what I do. How others look at me is not important to me or them, I leave others to their own life to live as they choose.

finding one's self is the tricky part. thank you for your input. I appreciate your view.

freedom is in being who you are regardless of where you are. Being not accepted because you don't 'believe' as others around you 'believe'-live as others live-be as others be, is not an excuse to betray yourself or who you are.
A person is an unique being and is not meant to be a carbon copy of others. Enjoy who you are and pity those who can't be.
Alone is NOT loneliness!

None of us fits into anyone's mold. Be happy with who you are

I have always been my own person. At times, this has caused me real problems. Overall, I am very happy with the results.

I guess that would depend on whether you " stray from the norm" because you want to discover something , or just to force a reaction. I sure we all know individuals who do THAT for attention, and it really is annoying.

are you referring to liberated quilting or life in general?

Liberation can feel exhilarating but also frightening depending on what impact one's liberation has on one's personal or professional life. Thus all decisions need to be weighed according to possible effects. Consider a simple decision to do your own quilting rather than going to a customary professional quilter. You would feel great that you have done the quilting yourself, but you could have severely disappointed the prof. quilter who now might not be able to keep her child in dance lessons. It could even ruin a friendship if your quilter was a friend. Or in the very least you would feel guilt for knowing your liberating decision negatively impacted someone else.
Just rambling on never have used a professional quilter. I only tried to point out that most of us do not live in a vacuum and all our decisions can have repercussions either positive or negative.
Thanks for the opportunity to do some pondering. Have a great day.

Ah HA - but how do you get others from not pushing THEIR beliefs on to you??? WE are suppose to march to their drum, but completely stifle OUR personal growth and beliefs? We are all individuals, aren't we? There needs to be an island somewhere where we are able to be ourselves, and live how we are intended to live. Sharing ideas is wonderful, but not by suffication......ooo, I apologize for digressing....

I totally agree. I think sometimes you feel twice as lonely if there is someone who is there but not emotionally available to fill the spot they are supposed to. My ex took off over a yr ago after centering his life around staying late and drinking. He was rarely at the house if he was he was drinking or you knew that was what he wanted to do. I limit the drinking in my house. Long list of alcoholics in my family, father, husband and even grown kids. I was surprised at how much better I felt once he moved out. I got to enjoy being at my house when no one was there. I even hesitated for a second when my son had to move back in. Of course I let him but I'm happy that him and his family are rarely there or they mainly hang out in their room so I'm still alone but rarely lonely. I'd love to meet someone to be able to have someone to do things with but not in a hurry to give up my alone time.

I LOVE your response! When we're patting ourselves on the back for not shopping at one store or another or encouraging others to do for themselves instead of hiring someone, we forget, like you said, that others do those things for an income! We forget that this economy is based on goods and services, and if we don't use those goods and services, many people lose an income. I'm not saying that you have to pay for all kinds of things, but certainly don't get in your high horse about folks who are willing to pay for someone to long arm a quilt, clean their house or decorate a birthday cake.

Exactly, well said and very well put ..

I have always walked to the beat of my own drum. My family has frequently not understood. I was an outsider in school. My friends were always the misfits. Recently I told my daughter that all of my friends were a little off center one way or another, some of them wouldn't like each other. She's met them all and agreed. I had 2 friends in high school who didn't like each other, at lunch I sat between them. I was the "buffer state". When I was 15 I realized the only person I could depend on was me. Fortunately, my husband of 42 years has always let me be me. I try to reciprocate, although I think he is better at it than I am. When I was younger I sometimes felt a deep loneliness but rarely do any more. As time progresses it gets easier to be happy in your own skin.
I think this has helped my 4 grown children to be themselves, too. Anyway, they are all comfortable in their own skins.

Answer to yourself. If you can lie down at night with a clear and happy conscience, go for it!

Just be you & do what makes you happy. I was one that always tried to please everyone else. I was never happy myself. Then decided to do what made me happy. If others didn't like it, then that was their problem not mine. When I teach someone to quilt or whatever, I always tell them I do it this way, but if you find a better way that works for you then go for it. Everyone is different & you have to choose for yourself & not let someone else choose how you should be. As long as you are not hurting anyone, then be you. I never downgrade anyone that thinks or dose things different than I do & I won't allow them to down grade me for how I am. Everyone is not made from the same mold. Blessings on being yourself.

Be your own person.....Live life to suit yourself.....No apologies to anyone.....

I think it's good to be yourself as long as you're not hurting someone else in the process. If being yourself means spending the grocery money on your obsession then I think it would be better to try to improve yourself. I really hate to hear someone say " well, that's just the way I am and the world will have to deal with it". But in your friends case, losing her husband means she will probably have to find a new purpose in life and I hope she doesn't let others bully her into not exploring new places and adventures.

I don't know how to be anyone but me. No amount of pressure from anyone could change that. Is that 'liberation'? Danged if I know, but I am happy and plan to be happy the rest of my life.

That isn't to say there haven't been - and won't be more - rough spots in my life. It simply means that I feel I have the strength to get through them and continue to live the only life that has been given to me.

It is called following that inner voice/conscience/the angel on your shoulder/?. That is who you have to live with. I know all about being lonely in a room full of people.