(I was reading another post about a wedding anniversary and I felt urged to post)

I want to thank all of you who have been in your marriage a long time.

Although things can happen and divorce can happen to anyone. I am not judging.

For those of you that have been in a marriage a long time you are an inspiration.
When divorces can be $350 if you just file the papers and walk away. Younger generations have no idea what it takes to make a marriage last. They have not grown up and seen it.
I was 17 and engaged before I met someone who was still married after many many years. (They are celebrating 50 years next year!)

So although you may not know it you are hope. You are not trying to be but you are a role model. When a young couple sees you and knows how many years you have you give them that little feeling what if we can do that too.

Everyone I know was divorced, my parents, my friends parents my aunts everyone.
My grandparents probably would have still been married but both of my grandfathers past away before I was born so I never saw it.

I am a young wife just past 9 years. I almost walked away once and I came back as I thought my marriage was worth fighting for.

I will say again Thank you

Me too. I want to extend my thanks. I'm a newlywed, coming up on 2 years next month.

I love your post AbbyQuilts. Made me stop and think.
My husband and I have been married 34 years. We've grown to appreciate each others' strengths and try to overlook all those weaknesses. It's not easy but it is worth it.
It saddens me when I see young people give up on each other and on themselves so quickly in life.

Yeah, i grew up and everybody in my family has been divorced, most more than once (with the exception of my grandparents).

When I met my dh, i could not believe that he did not have any divorces in his family. Although they had one in the last few years, which really rocked the whole family.

I was very blessed to marry a very Godly man, will be married for 24 years next year!

I was married 6 months shy of 25 years. Not divorced, but widowed. I never once thought of leaving, but once in awhile I would like to have swatted him. My mom was married, widowed, remarried to a not nice person, and still married when she passed. My Grandma was married for over 30 years before she was widowed. My greatgrandparents were married over 50 years. Same thing on my Dad's side. I had an uncle who was divorced. It was kept secret and we kids didn't even know because it was something to be ashamed of at that time. My generation, however has a lot of divorces. I think it is a sign of what is happening with our culture. It is easier to leave than to stick it out! And like you said $350. My house payment is more than that.

Thank you so much. My DH and I have been married for 48 years and people said we wouldn't last 6 months. There were many hard times and it was a struggle to remember the marriage was more important than any issue. We still work to make our relationship a good one. The rewards far outweigh the hard times.

It's all about 2 people giving 150% and forgiving 100%. We're going on 22 years and we love each other more each day.

We celebrated our 38th Anniversary in the beginning of August. We met on June 17, 1972 and were married on August 7th the same year! I was only 18.

Everyone said it wouldn't last. The sad part is of all the brothers, sisters, inlaws and cousins, only one other couple besides us are still married to each other. A few are on their 3rd and 4th marriages.

I have a very difficult time understanding how a person can just walk away from a marriage unless there is physical or mental abuse! It is their business, not mine.

I wish everyone the marriage my husband and I enjoy! I can't imagine my life without him. He is still loving, fun, supportive, and my very best friend.

I am sorry to hear that your husband passed, Sadiemae! I couldn't imagine how lost you must feel! My thoughts and prayers are with you and remember even if he isn't physically with you now, he still is spiritially. Hugs!

To the newlyweds, I wish you all a very long and happy marriage. Yes it is possible!!!
:) :) :)

My husband and I will celebrate 26 years on the 7th of September. We met on June 5th, 1984, had our first date on the first friday of 1984, married on September 7, 1984 and have been married since. We have had our problems and nearly divorced twice but worked it out instead. We have been through the worst thing that can happen to a marriage (the death of a child as we buried our only daughter when she was 3 months 10 days old) and have never suffered through infidelity on either part. todays' young people can't imagine the kind of marriage DH and I have had and don't believe me when I say we have never had a single arguement. DH and I are more in love today than we were when we met.

46 years this past May and it is very hard sometimes especially in the beginning.

That really sums it up, doesn't it?

DH and I have been together 15 years, married for 10. There were times a few years back when we were almost at our breaking point. And we were done. And soooooo one-sided in our perspectives. Maybe a little selfish, out for what WE wanted...but not out for what we wanted for US. I'm so glad we resolved our differences, and it can only get sweeter from here!

29 years for us. First couple of years were lean, but like fine wine, gets better with age. Making up is much more fun that fightinh!

My DH & I have been married for 46 years come December.
we went into marriage without any thought of if it didn't work we would call it quits. we went into marriage for life, We have had our ups and downs, differing opinions on things from time to time. we were told it wont last more than 6 months and after 32 years of marriage my "DMIL" was still trying to break us up. we found the best things were.
1) communication
2) never go to bed angry.
3) we have done nearly everything together.
4) think of marriage as a rope 1 thread makes a very weak rope (thinking only of self). 2 strands make it a bit stronger(thinking of each other and each others feelings). & 3 strands make a very strong rope. (adding God and his principles into your marriage).
Following these 4 steps will make a marriage strong enough to survive anything life can throw at you.

My DH and I will be married 26 years on September 22. We both entered into our marriage with the conviction that this commitment was for life. Divorce is not an option. That attitude changes the way you deal with issues. My 17 yr old son asked me one time why his dad and I spent so much time together. I told him we were best friends and when so many of his friends parent were divorced wasn't it nice to know that his parents were still goofy for each other. Hi ears turned bright red and he got this little grin and said maybe he didn't mind mom and dads pda's so much any more. I laughed and thanked him for his permission.

It will be 56 years for us in Feb. Was it hard? You bet!! We separated for 9 months at one point early in the marriage, a case of being too young and scared. Hubby was feeling sort of like he had lost his freedom ( worked with a bunch of single guys). I was pregnant with second child and 18 years old! The time apart was hard, but it was also good for us. We had many many battles through the years, but I was determined my kids would have a two parent home. My Mom gave me the best advice. She told me to " take care of my family, and learn to live on my husbands' income. If you need to work to put food on the table, then do so". ( at the time I really wanted an outside job so we could buy nice things like my sisters had). Her feeling was when both partners are working, then you just spend more on "things" so you have to keep working and then family time suffers." I saw that happening with my sisters , so I did the old fashion thing and didn't work. Don and I still have arguments, but, we have always worked with each other on the important things
and we raised 4 very good, responsible kids( who by the way have all been divorced!!). I know young families today have a hard time with the economy, and women have to have jobs to survive, many can't stay home, and I feel so sorry for them. But, others do it so they can have big homes that they can't afford, nice vacations, big cars, etc., and those really are very unimportant in the end. What is important is having someone who loves you, cares about your feelings, and who stands by your side when things get rough. It is much to easy to get a divorce now, no stigma attached like it use to be, so many just throw in the towel at the first disagreement. Heck, many marry thinking they will divorce if they arenT happy. And I think now so many put their own happiness ahead of everyone else, and as parents, most of that is our fault. I'm not old fashioned, honestly, but I believe that we need to bring back those old time morals and values that I was raised with, at least some of them. Too many children are suffering because of divorce. And they do suffer!! I"ve seen it with my grandchildren, and it just isn't fair!! For you young ladies, get out if you are in abusive relationships, but try real hard not to sweat the little things, and work real hard at keeping your family together, especially if you have children. My husband and I are really glad we stuck together, and we are still very much in love after 55 years.

couldn't agree more with abbyquilts. My husband's parents are divorced, my parents were both married before their marriage and are now divorced with my mother on her 3rd somewhat failing marriage. I had aunts/uncles and grandparents with successful marriages to look at. We have been married almost 8 months and are very happy. Divorce is something we will not even joke about--it's absolutely not in the deal. My husband said before we were married that marriage is not a commitment. It is a covenant between 2 people and God and unbrakeable so be sure before you marry. Love that man. :)

Dh and I will be married 36 years on 9/7. The week before we got married, we sat down and really talked a lot of things through. We made a pact that no matter how tough it got, we would not let the word divorce come into out home. We said that if we couldn't say it and mean it, there wouldn't be a wedding. It wasn't always easy, but we have kept that pact. 36 years and 4 kids later, we are so glad that we had that discussion. Don't get me wrong, some marriages should never have taken place to begin with and should be dissolved. But with divorce being so easy and so socially acceptable, to many couples just don't give it everything they could and should. A few years ago we went to a wedding and heard the groom say, "well, if it doesn't work out we can just get a divorce". It made me just sick. Also, (and I'm not preaching, but it worked for us)we agreed that there would always be three in our marriage. Us and God and if we would do that, there wasn't anything we couldn't get through.

We will be married 18 years on 9/5. I can't see living without him. There are days when I could knock him over the head with an iron skillet but I would do it with love. If anything I don't see how he can live with me, there are days I don't like living with me. Lol. You all have a great day.

My husband and I go married in 1976, the bicentenial year. That makes 34 years for us. We are empty nesters now and I just retired. We spend much time together and life is slower paced. We have 5 DGSs. Our youngest is trying to plan her wedding and har two older sisters seem to be happily married. My parents have been married for many years, but all of our siblings have seperated. I am truly belssed to have the family I have. :) :)

My sister, brother and I all got married the same year (1976) and yes we are all still married today (34 years later) We believe in staying together through good times and bad. My husband and I have lived through not being able to have kids, 3 major job losses because of company shutdowns and now a disability but we are still together and always there for each other.

going on 52 years in Sept....I just keep thinking, "some days your the windshield and somedays your the bug" can't be 100%, 100% of the time.

My hubby and I have been together since he was 22 and I was 16. we just had our 18th anniversary July 11. we have been through so much together, the good, the very good, the bad and the very bad, but we are still going strong. I love him more with each passing day. He really knows how to push my buttons sometimes, but I wouldnt trade him for anything! I'm going though some severe depression and anxiety right now and he has been right beside me. I honestly dont know how he puts up with me sometimes but he does, and when I ask him why he does put up with me he says "because I love you, you're my dream girl". I honestly couldnt live without him for a single second! Ok.... now i need a tissue.

We celebrate 55 years in September. There have been good times and a few bad ones, but divorce was not an option through many of those years. It was difficult and expensive to get a divorce. Whenever I get angry, I just tell myself, I'm not perfect either! And I give him a hug and kiss and laugh before I tell him what's bothering me. Our 3 kids? Two are divorced, but they hung in over 20 years each. Both were married to controlling partners. The other one separated for a year, but worked it out.
It hasn't always been easy, but it's worth it!

What a wonderful topic!
When I got married in 1971 I was very young but I had no idea of an "out" if things got rough. I just didn't think that way.
Maybe it was seeing my parents, aunts and uncles, etc in long marriages. Times were different too.
Out of 4 of us kids 2 are divorced and 2 are still married. Those 2 divorces were sad but both my siblings are happier now. Neither has remarried. The one still married is miserable. I have seen both sides of long marriages so I don't like to judge what people do.
I go by the 3 A's- adultery, abuse, addiction. If any of these are in a marriage something has to be done. I have dealt with addiction in my marriage and it's put a huge strain on it but we're working hard on it as I speak :)

Almost 41 years for us. Married right out of high school. My dh took a sociology class on family his last semester in college and came home and told me we had no chance. We did everything wrong. Here's what I think made it work so far:
1. Be willing to forgive
2. Make the other person important in your life
3. Do things together, but have some interests of your own
4. Be too stubborn to give up
5. Don't take any nonsense

I agree with every thing you said, we have been married for 51 years .

I was married 37 years in April. It hasn't been free of struggles; but when I said "I DO" I took those vows very seriously. We did separate once back in the mid 80's.... what doesn't break us, only makes us stronger!!

Divorce only became legal in Ireland in 1997!! Of course that doesn't mean marriages didn't break up before then, often one partner moved to another country and got the divorce there, but it sure left a mess in Ireland when it came to dividing estates between the "legal" first family and any subsequent partners and children.

Our last Taoiseach was legally separated from his wife and had his live-in partner accompanying him to official functions which caused a bit of controversy as well.

I joke about divorce regularly, but we've had some awful years so honestly if I haven't left by now then I'm not likely to.

I'm still a pretty young one to this topic. Last week my DH and I celebrated 10 years of love together and next week we'll celebrate 7 years of marriage. My MIL (no dear there) has tried to separate us on everything, especially after her own, second separation, but we're still going strong. We're a bit "old-fashioned" as my brother told me (he's on his second marriage and 26), but we don't mind. We believe in God and family. I stay home with our two beautiful girls and I homeschool them while my dh works locally. Family time is more important than fabulous vacations for us. My DH is the most amazing man I've ever met and my best friend. Last year I was told I had a severe condition that had to be operated on (as I was being wheeled from an emergency appendectomy)and that I would not be able to have more children. I had two, back to back, abdominal surgeries and my DH really shined! He took care of me, during both recovery times, the kids, the pets and the house. And while recovering the second time, he really supported this new "therapy" idea a friend had brought up: quilting! I had been sewing for about 3 years so I had some of the basic principles down. This past Christmas he bought me a Janome 6500 and an embroidery machine for quilting and has supported every crazy quilting thing I've chased after. He is truely my best friend and I love him more every day!

This is a wonderful thread! I agree with you 100% and have repeatedly thanked my Grandparents over the years for thier example.
Everyone in my family too has been divorced and infidelity seems to be like a disease everyone has. My Grandparents are the exception. I met my hubby, and his parents have been an inspiration too. Although Hubsters father had been married before, when he met Hubsters mother, they have been inseparable since. My mother in law has told me one of her secrets is that she kisses her husband as soon as they wake up, before he leaves, as soon as he gets home, and last before going to sleep. I do the same with my Hubster. Also, we always try to go to bed at the same time. Hubsters rule also is that we never discuss serious topics in the bedroom. If we need to talk, we talk in the living room BEFORE bed.
I am madly, completely, absolutely in love with my Husband. We recently celebrated our fifth anniversary. Sometimes I feel sad that we will never see some of the landmarks some of you ladies have (we got married in our 30's) I know that as long as it's my choice, I will be with him the rest of my life. I know a marriage is work. I tell myself every day, love is not so much an emotion as a choice. I wake up every day and CHOOSE to continue to love this man even if he peeves me off. I choose to love him, no matter what. (ok...I admit, I love him so much...it's not really a hard choice at all!!)
Thanks for this thread and for all the wonderful ladies who have shared! Thank you for your example!

My husband and I have been married for 24 yrs this year. My mom and Dad celebrated 52 yrs. My grandma's on both sides 50+ years. My family has had little divorces - although my siblings have all been divorced. We had bets against us in the beginning but we have endured - and yes its not always peaches and cream - but we have gotten through all that and now we are empty nesters and enjoy our lives. My hubby was married for a very short time before me and had two children = my stepchildren - we are very close and I wouldn't change a thing. It takes work and commitment to endure the road but its worth it in the end.

Our dear friends have a big party on Labor Day put on by their children. Their anniversary is actually tomorrow: 60 years. Makes me feel so underaccomplished - we will be celebrating 34 years (only) in December. lol

The last 18 months, my honey worked the evening shift and we didn't see each other much. Now he is back on days and I love cooking for him and spending time. We are even taking dance lessons again and having a blast getting our 4 left feet sorted out every Wednesday night. I cannot (and do not want to) imagine life without Pat.

I swore I would never become a number, one of the married young, divorced soon couples. But I did. We were married 9 years, have a beautiful daughter, but the emotional pain was not worth it. Let me tell you, feeling useless, unloved & unwanted in your own home is not a good headspace to be in. We went through 3 different rounds of marriage counseling, with 3 different counselors. Not 3 sessions, 3 series of sessions. All they achieved was to show how blind to my situation my ex was.

Then after it was all said & done, my now hubby helped me realize how strong I really am (thanks to the bs I went through). And I'm determined to not ever go down that road again.

So yes, thank you and congrats to everyone who has stuck through and made it work, and are growing old together. I'm going to grow old with this man, but sometimes you stumble on the path to finding the right road.

Same with me. We were married in our teen and everyone said it would not last. It will be 40years come January.

On Oct. 1, 2010, my husband and I will celebrate our 27th anniversary. We've known each other since we were 5; first met in Kindergarten. I come from a long line of "divorce-free" marriages: both sets of grandparents were married over 55 years when my grandfathers passed away. Neither grandmother remarried.

My mom & dad have been married 59 years this past May.

And when we got married, I said that I didn't believe in divorce -- I'd kill him first, but I'd never divorce him! Sounds kinda funny, but it goes to the mentality of marriage: if you make that committment, then you should stand by it. Now, I've worked for 18+ years for Attorneys, and I've seen the ravages of divorce, so I know that in some cases it is warranted. But it's not for me.

We were 22 when we married, and I have said it ever since: I knew my mind then, and what I wanted. I figured if I was intending to spend the rest of my life with someone, I had better love him, and there should be laughter. To this day, he can make me laugh until I can't breathe. Yup, sometimes we're just plain goofy, but it's what works for us. I couldn't ask for a more caring, loving, or concerned partner to walk through life with me. He's the best father to our 3 daughters, and incredibly selfless to the 2 grandsons.

And like so many others, "they" said it wouldn't last. His brother has been married, has 4 kids + one his wife had after an affair, and they're divorced. His other brother has been married, divorced, and is married to someone else now. His sister is still married, but hers is a marriage that suits her, so that's all there is. My brother and sister have both only been married the one time, and are still married.

If you've got the desire and admiration to take note of a longstanding marriage, and it's what you want in life, too, then you should do all in your power to make it work. Jobs come and go, housing changes, kids grow up and move away. What's left at the end of the day is your relationship with your spouse. And if you can sit together in a room and enjoy each other's company, whether or not you even have to say a word to each other, you've been blessed.

To all us "old married people", a big pat on the back. To the "less experienced" married people, keep working on it! It's a very worthy project.

Odessa

I met my husband when I was just 19, in 1977 we got married a year later and we've been married 32 years now. They all said it we wouldn't last a year.(we showed them! lol)
It wasn't all wonderful, we had to work hard to make it a good, lasting relationship. We love each other more each day.
Sharon

My husband and I have been together for 22 years and married 16. We met when I was 17, he was going to college about 200 miles away but he came to take me out every Saturday for almost a year! Then he came back home (still about 75 miles away from me) and we started seeing each other more. The first few years of our marriage were happy but hard, I was working days and he was working nights, money was tight, and the in-laws were driving me crazy! We have made it through good times and bad, but as long as we have each other we are so blessed!

My hubby and me will be married 40 years this Nov. We split twice but made it work. Glad we stuck it out and have 4 wonderful children and 2 beautiful grandbabies. People need to stick together. If there is abuse going on I do say get out don't look back. No one should be subject to that not you kids or anyone.

I was divored at about 28 yrs old. one of those $350.00 ones actually. i paid.
then at 35 i met my husband of 31 yrs!

We have been married for 31 years this October 27th. We have stressful times, like any marriage; but we've always worked thru them together. We've always told our kids, "Marriage can be one of the toughest jobs you ever have; work on it everyday, compromise when needed, talk your problems out bewtween the two of you, and share the strength you build." We are now both retired, and enjoying life together in our retirement years.