Quiltingboard Forums

Quiltingboard Forums (https://www.quiltingboard.com/)
-   General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk) (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/)
-   -   The mooching person who wants to quilt (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/mooching-person-who-wants-quilt-t84484.html)

Pat M. 12-27-2010 02:11 PM

First you have to say NO, keep repeating it, the NO word
only works when you finally get it through her head that you really mean NO. I had to do this a few times with a neighbor and it finally worked with her. She stopped asking and I felt better.

Rosyhf 12-27-2010 02:40 PM

On my, I didn't read the entire thread but I get the picture. That just couldn't happen to me hahhahaha....If I choose to share and I have with my good frind, I directed her to a bin and she was very happy to use what was in there.

If this woman is so rude and can't get the message then you have my permission to be just as rude lol. I don't feel that you should hide your fabric, this is your house. If you have a problem saying no then just don't let her come.

This woman is just taking advantage of your good nature and thinks you are a fool!! did this get you dander up? good!! now say noooooooooooooooooo

sherriequilts 12-27-2010 03:03 PM

I just have to share this. My friend and I started quilting after my husband died about 9 years ago. She kept her stash in my house and even she offered me to take anything I needed I never did unless she was there and approved and was happy about its use. Most of the time our likes are somewhat different. So if she bought Bali-Pops she'd use the strips she liked and give me the rest which I happened to prefer!! We've worked on making the same quilt from Asian fabrics and just pooled our fabrics and went out and bought more, MUCH MORE! No accounting of who spent what and owned which fabrics. We have had a great time quilting together. Wish it were that way for every one. Happy New Year to all.

quiltmaker 12-27-2010 04:20 PM


Originally Posted by sherriequilts
I just have to share this. My friend and I started quilting after my husband died about 9 years ago. She kept her stash in my house and even she offered me to take anything I needed I never did unless she was there and approved and was happy about its use. Most of the time our likes are somewhat different. So if she bought Bali-Pops she'd use the strips she liked and give me the rest which I happened to prefer!! We've worked on making the same quilt from Asian fabrics and just pooled our fabrics and went out and bought more, MUCH MORE! No accounting of who spent what and owned which fabrics. We have had a great time quilting together. Wish it were that way for every one. Happy New Year to all.


What a beautiful relationship you two have...I'm so happy for you and your friend. That is priceless. You both have been given the gift of each other....and there is nothing more precious on this earth than the love of friends.

Hobbyhorse1027 12-30-2010 12:32 AM

Personally my thoughts on this situation differs from many of the comments posted. I would not lock the door, probably spend more time searching for the key than actually sewing. I wouldn't sort through my fabric to separate the ones that are no longer my taste. Nor would I give her any more fabric. Lying is also not an option. Don't invite her into your home anymore. If she does drop by you will probably be busy with things you would rather do any way, like packing. If she asks for fabric just say no. If you gave her any fabric she probably wouldn't be satisfied and would continue to mooch.

Rainy Day 12-30-2010 03:05 AM


Originally Posted by Hobbyhorse1027
Personally my thoughts on this situation differs from many of the comments posted. I would not lock the door, probably spend more time searching for the key than actually sewing. I wouldn't sort through my fabric to separate the ones that are no longer my taste. Nor would I give her any more fabric. Lying is also not an option. Don't invite her into your home anymore. If she does drop by you will probably be busy with things you would rather do any way, like packing. If she asks for fabric just say no. If you gave her any fabric she probably wouldn't be satisfied and would continue to mooch.

I'm with you, Hobbyhorse - give this woman an inch and she will take a mile! Practice this - make a noise like you are in a lot of pain, Joan, grunting loudly. Now, open your mouth and say OW!
Put them together and you have NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!
xxx Rain
PS My moocher is no longer welcome in our home.

qwkslver 12-30-2010 04:43 AM

It's called assertiveness training. Do not elaborate. Just continue to say "no" until the person tires of the game and shuts up. (I'd hide from her if I saw her coming up the drive).

Grandma Cindy 12-30-2010 12:46 PM


Originally Posted by dunster
I have to agree with Patrice. If she comes over again smile sweetly and tell her right away that you think she may be under a misconception (what we have here is a failure to communicate!) and that you want to clear things up. The fabrics that you have are your stash, they're the things you bought to make things with, and you intend to keep them. However you'll be glad to go with her to a quilt shop (or wherever) and help her select fabrics that SHE can purchase for HER stash. Don't offer to share anything with her, because that will just prolong the problem.

exactly!

debbieumphress 12-30-2010 12:54 PM

1 Attachment(s)

Originally Posted by qwkslver
It's called assertiveness training. Do not elaborate. Just continue to say "no" until the person tires of the game and shuts up. (I'd hide from her if I saw her coming up the drive).

Ditto. I love it. I love giving things away and swapping when I chose. I get so tired of the moochers who never reciprocate. And believe me they always ask. My true friends don't. There is a difference. The gift is in the giving.

Janetlmt 12-30-2010 02:51 PM

I would take items that you don't really care for..and put them in a basket. Tell her this is what you can choose from. All the other fabric is off limits.
Don't let her take advantage of you.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:36 PM.