So many of our service people coming back are suffering from a lot of depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome.

P T S D------look up rapid eye movement therapy----pm mme if you want more info

I work for the Army. They and the other services offer a variety of free programs & services for service members and their families who need personal counseling. The Military & Family Life Consultants Program is one of them.

MHN, Health Net’s behavioral health division, provides short-term, non-medical counseling at military installations, at drill weekends for National Guard and Reserve Component members or wherever military families come together for support – nationwide and overseas. The Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) Program has more than 250 consultants assisting the needs of active duty, National Guard and Reserve Component members and their families with everyday issues.

Consultants typically make contact during pre- and post-deployment training, but may approach military members and their families in places such as libraries, local restaurants or bowling alleys. MFLCs are there to talk to and help with life’s challenges. It is an opportunity to reach out and speak confidentially to a specially trained professional.

MFLCs provide support for relationships, crisis intervention, stress management, grief, occupational hazards, and other challenges military families face. Their goal is to help empower individuals to work through their issues, increase individual and family harmony and promote confidence in handling the stress of military life. Recognizing the close relationship between emotional stressors and financial challenges faced by military families, MHN also provides financial counseling to assist service personnel and their families manage expenses, save appropriately and budget wisely.

Services are free and private; between the service member or family member(s) and the counsultant.

If you know anybody you think needs help, please contact the Family Support Coordinator on the nearest installation or National Guard or Reserve unit.

If you need help figuring out how to do that, let me know.

remembering that " religion" is not welcome here on the board as part of the rules, I took off the poem I felt led to write as I was woken up an hour ago. I reposted it somewhere else, for you, Jade.. you will find it I am sure.. Just know that my prayers are with you, in this calling, and for the family whose loved one has died.

My nephew got back from Afghanistan and was shot down in an Osprey, he really does not talk much about it, but when he is ready I will listen and be there for the hugs he needs. I will never know how or why he feels what he does, but to Thank him for everything he has down and his troops.

I have adopted a soldier in Iraq. He emails me when he can. I am retired and have time to do this. I try to send email every 2-3 days and have sent him some packages of things he wanted plus some other stuff. He has no family. My brother in law was a medic and his wife got him into therapy shortly after he returned. I feel that if we can do something for one of "our guys" it is well worth the time. You can just search for Adopt a Soldier if you are so inclined.

You have brought up so many great points just by relaying this story!!

Our serviceman give up their lives in so many ways. There are some that say that they signed up for it knowing that this is part of the deal. I do not agree with this at all.

If they dont lose their life in actual battle then theres the loss of loved ones that sometimes do not understand how hard it is for their spouse/significant other to be away so long. Also the fact that what they do see over there changes them. I have a 2ns cousin who served 2 terms in Iraq and was just 19 when he went the first time. He is now 26 and has been home now for a little over two years. In some ways it has changed him for the better - he doesnt take the generousity of afamily and friends for granted anymore and takes time now with my aging uncles and is his right hand guy now. But he is no longer the outgoing kid he left as. He is withdrawn and has trouble functioning in life in the states now. God knows he has tried!! He goes to counseling and does work but its a daily struggle.
Our family has reached out to him the best way we can without pushing too hard - its such a fine line!! I have 2 cousins that are carreer military -flying a[aches and have also served overseas. they have moved up the ranks now (both been in for about 20 years) unfortunately they are in the opinion that he should just buck up and get on with life - doesnt understand why he is having so much trouble and thought he should have stuck the military life out. As I pointed out to one of them when they were in town one day - yes they entered military at same age but their fighting experiences happened at a later time in their careers and they were older and much more mature. I am not saying the other cousin was immature by any means but he did not have several years on in state training to better prepare him-he had about 3-6 months basic and was shipped out! Also its so much easier in my opinion to shoot at an "enemy" from the far reaches of an aircraft where you dont actually see the "enemy" face to face. To me a whole different ballgame!!!

I am sorry I just had to vent a little - Thanks to you for all you are doing to make the transitions easier for our service men and woman. It would be a very hard job! THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO!!!

Well, and not to mention that when you are up in the air shooting people, it isn't as personal as when you are on the ground, looking them in the eye. My DH flew A6s during Desert Storm. He never really talked about how he felt about that until we watched "Band of Brothers". He really joined the Navy to fly and become an astronaut. He always said if he had to drop bombs on anybody, he would get out. Of course, timing is everything. So it took him awhile longer than he planned to get out. We got married May 19th and they left for the Gulf Dec. 7th. A day that will live in infamy. Those were such horrible months for me. After the war actually started, I hated to even go anywhere that wasn't a phone # known to the C.O.'s wife. We were glued to the tv and the news. So many people we knew were shot down. Luckily we only lost two people from DH's carrier, but that was 2 too many. It is so hard for the families and you just really don't know what they are going through until you have been there yourself. And even then, it is a different situation on the ground. My oldest sons want to go into the Marines and I just cringe. I am afraid for them, already.

Look for your local chapter of AFSP.org. There is a ton of info out there (and services) that can help you.

We are in the process of chartering our local group and as awareness increases, you will see so many facets you would never think are needing help.

Good luck in your endeavors!

Please check out state, county, and city help that may be available. My son-in-law works for Orange Co. in CA. He has worked counselling returnees and now is working in a program helping returnees with spousal abuse. He counsels them and goes to court with them etc. More and more local agencies see that they need to be involved in the lives of these returning soldiers. Our son-in-law was a Marine and is now retired. He was in the original Desert Storm. He understands what they are going through.