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-   -   National tell a joke day (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/national-tell-joke-day-t145561.html)

ksea 08-16-2011 06:51 AM

Today is National Tell a Joke Day, I can't wait to see what some of you come up with.
http://news.gather.com/viewArticle.a...81474979935442

Helovesme 08-16-2011 06:56 AM

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way, unique up on it.

ksea 08-16-2011 06:56 AM


Originally Posted by Helovesme
How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way, unique up on it.

Good one :lol: :lol: :lol:

MinnieKat 08-16-2011 06:59 AM

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

ptquilts 08-16-2011 07:03 AM

most of my best jokes are not suitable for the QB....

alikat110 08-16-2011 07:33 AM


Originally Posted by ptquilts
most of my best jokes are not suitable for the QB....

Ditto!

ptquilts 08-16-2011 07:37 AM

Ok, found a clean one....



A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

Helovesme 08-16-2011 07:57 AM


Originally Posted by ptquilts
Ok, found a clean one....



A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

:thumbup:

sisLH 08-16-2011 08:07 AM

Husband: "Honey, we've been married 40 yrs and have a huge house and all of life's finest things. But I kind of miss that 10" tv and the wild 23 yr old woman I slept on the couch with".
Wife: "Well, ind a wild 23 yr old and I'll make sure you're back to sleeping on a couch and watching a 10" tv.

joyce blint 08-16-2011 08:23 AM

good one!

Quiltbeagle 08-16-2011 09:00 AM

Where do you find a no-legged dog?

Right where you left him!

-----

What's the difference between Corn Nuts and deer nuts?

Corn Nuts are usually more than a dollar...deer nuts are always under a buck!

Carron 08-16-2011 05:02 PM

A married couple were out working in their yard when the husband bent over to scoop up some leaves.

At the precise moment the wife ran over to him and kicked him on his fanny.

Naturally he went face first down into the pile of feaves.

As he was getting up and brushing the debri from his clothing he looks at her and asked "What was that for?".

The wife looks him in the eyes and states...
"That's for being a lousy lover!" and with that she turns and walks away.

A short time later the husband looks at his wife as she is bending over placing some flowers into the prepaired soil and instantly he runs over to her and kicks her on her fanny. Of course she goes face first into the dirt.

As the wife was slowly getting up and brushing off the dirt from her clothing she inquired rather loudly..."What was that for?".

The husband looks her in the eyes and comments....

"That's for knowing the difference!"


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