Sounds like you're doing well so far! See if you can get some help with the inviting...asking each sibling to invite their kids, grandkids and other family members maybe. Verbal invites are better than nothing, and are FREE! Your food selection sounds great, especially depending on somebody else to do parts of it, like buying a lot of it.... Let us know how it goes!

Does the party have to be a surprise? Happy anticipation was always part of the fun for my dad. My mother began having family and friends parties for my dad on his 65th. We celebrated that one and every 5 years after that - including his 95th! He so enjoyed looking forward to the big day, as well as greeting people he hadn't seen since the last party! If at all possible, I strongly recommend letting you FIL in on the plans. :-)

little gift bags with an old photo of the receiver attached.
Finger foods, cake, soda's, bottled water iced down in a large container and coffee. Finger foods can be made in advance and maybe a large pot of gumbo with rice and bread on the side. Gumbo freezes well too.

sounds as if you've got it all in hand. wish I lived closer, love to do the baking and catering thing. Agree that a bk'd ziti, salad and a few desserts with Italian bread would be great. If some want more, then they can go home and eat. I know what you say that some only come to eat, we also have a few of those but every family does. Good luck and blessing to you

Holy cow you have a full plate. Why not put in the invites to bring a plate of something. Or bring desserts.
However, have you ever done pictures on fabric? You could have someone snap a few pictures at the party then make a wallhanging or quilt out of the pictures to give to him for Christmas or something. I did that for my mom and dads 50th. I also had sqaures of fabric that I had everyone sign that I included in the quilt. (make sure you use a fabric pen) :thumbup: I can post a picture of the quilt I did for my mom and dad if you want to see it.

Hopefully everyone comes to make him the focus of the day and leave all the problems home. My advice (I'm 72) is to keep it simple so you can enjoy the day and have time to visit also. Food you can make in great quantity and ahead of time. Hope his day will be a wonderful memory.

Love the idea I could do a wallhanging out of pics and signatures from the party...LOVE IT

Thanks everyone great advice so far my guest list is 180 plus people but with this family I will be lucky it a 1/4 of them show....So I am gonna keep invitiing people and just ask the to rsvp so I have an idea for the amount of food I need...

On of his sisters (his and mine and hubbys Favorite) is already refusing to come because she is the one usualy picked on..Hubby is going to try to talk to her and I am going to write a note to everyone asking them to leave the past in the past and let my fil enjoy the day that is all about him

My kids requested I make potato salad, hubby asked for maccaroni salad I am making a big cake to look like a tool box and chocolates and cooks that look like tools...A friend offered to help with the chocolate and cookies and my mom might help with making food if I buy the stuff

Big problem right now is DECORATIONS...so far my only idea is bright colors.....lol

Thanks everyone for all you help

This turned out to be a big quilt but my mom has it hanging up.
Have fun. :thumbup:

I too know about disruptive family! My Mother has just recently passed away. At her funeral, my sister's daughter-in-law brought their child in a stroller and sat 3 seats back from the front with it. Then, proceeded to talk to it in very loud tones in playing with it. So, being the referenced type of person that I am, sitting on the front pew, I turned around and sshed her. She is not a really young person (upper 20's to early 30's) so, she should have known better than to sit and talk loudly during the service especially when a prayer was being said. I got my message across because she was quiet during the remainder of the service!
I wish you and your hubby the best during this event because I know it will be a stressful time for you. Blessings from down in the state of Va.
Hester