I am in way over my head on this one I think...Dont get me wrong I love planning little get togethers and Bday parties etc..but My husbands family is NOT close as a matter of fact at my mil and sil funerals people had to be removed from the building..yep..they are one of those families..Its a 22 year old fight over the estate when my husbands grandpa died..its sad really

Well my fil is a sweet man who tries to remain neutral even though he is one of the ones that got shorted in the deal..Next month he turns 75 and before my mil died a few years ago I had promised her I would make a big deal out of his 75th bday..so I am trying to put together a surprise bday party...(he is 3rd oldest of 12) all his brothers and sisters are all still living (his oldest sister is now 82) and this may be our last chance to get them all together if they like it or not

So far I reserved a place to have it (my churches fellowship hall) and have started the guest list...

I know I am already behind cause the party is a month from today...I am looking for addresses etc now (and trying to find out peoples last names how many kids they have etc...we have been married almost 15 years and I have never meet alot of his family

Over the weekend I am going to start the invitations ...

So any helpful ideas, suggestions, money saving tips, anything would be very helpful

thanks so much

Did I mention I am doing this completely by myself including all the cooking................guest list ia growing fast my inlaws fostered over 80 kids plus baby sat and are from large families :cry:

I'm sorta in the same boat. We (DH & I) have been planning my In-Laws 70th wedding anniversary. See if any of the family is on Facebook. you'll be amazed just how many names and address you can get that way. As for the "rowdy" bunch don't hesitate to let it be know this is a celebration of the present not the past!

hubby is kinda the bouncer ..lol.. at family functions (he had to make people leave at his own mothers and sisters funeral and at our wedding reception) He has said NO ARGUEING PERIOD...

As for facebook weel there are a FEW and very few on there so i am trying to call and message people to ask for names addresses etc. But my husabnds family is very old world german (my mom calls the 2 stps from amish) they are very about religion and old customs the dont even believe in weddling rings or decorative barrettes in your hair and alot of them dont own tvs or computers

when my bunnie turned 75 I did an open house, with finger foods and cake drinks and invited all of his friends and business associates drop in threw out the day it was wonderful no stress just good laughs and simple

An open house actually sounds good. Then you don't have to worry about all of the "mean" ones staying all day making things worse. Pop in say Happy Birthday grab an appetizer or two...mingle for ten minutes GO HOME. LOL.
I only say this because you nor your father in law need to have DRAMA on his special day. :) Wishing you luck in whatever you decide to do.

Well, if it was me, I would ask the other members of the family to bring a little something. You should not have to do ALL of the cooking.

I did this for my dad also. Can't believe with our big family he didn't find out. The only other thing I did was have a photographer come. We got a lot of wonderful family pics. Everyone paid for their own pics and we split the sitting fee between us kids.

I hate to say anything mean about my husbands family BUT #1 most of them either dont cook or u dont want them too but the bigger thing is that his family is the type if the bring a dish as in a potluck that is all they will bring no card no presents nothing...

honestly they only reason most of them will even come is it a free meal

We have already planned a sit down meal and honestly will be the reason most of his family comes... We are having it at a fellowship hall ...

the open house may be a good idea for my hubbys 40th next year tho thanks for the idea