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-   -   polite moratorium on sewing gifts (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/polite-moratorium-sewing-gifts-t261608.html)

Pat G 02-22-2015 08:39 AM

While this isn't funny to you anymore they are just being "women". I think they feel that since you are a "man" you aren't capable of making good choices. LOL. They always need to be helpful. Ok so I'm one of those women (not one shopping for you) but I can take a hint.

Prism99 02-22-2015 10:42 AM

Start with your wife. Just tell her that you enjoy browsing and deciding on what to buy (that's half the fun of fabric shopping!!!); could she give you a gift certificate instead of specific items? Then ask her to spread the word around your social circle.

I don't see any other way to successfully get the word out. This is not being ungrateful; this is just being truthful. And it's better to get the truth out early!

quiltingcandy 02-22-2015 11:00 AM

My sister has taken up buying patterns for me for Christmas - one I am anxious to try but the others are cute/attractive but nothing I care to make, so I hang them on my wall and admire them. Fabric that has been given to me I go through and keep what fits with my stash, the rest goes to the thrift store.

People giving you fabric, you can either make a quick throw and give it back to them. Maybe they will get the point. Or just give it away. There are a lot of people out there that need a warm blanket. My sister started making wrap arounds. (They are like a shawl with corner pockets for your hands and wrap around the shoulders to keep the person warm.) My mother was constantly cold and they worked so well for her while watching tv. And a bit more attractive than the commercial snugglies.

zozee 02-22-2015 11:20 AM

As touchy a subject as it is, truth in love works best as a response.
Truth: I appreciate your generosity, but I don't have that much space to store fabric.
Truth: If you want me give me something other than a gift card, I like (x brand and size) rotary blades. (The giver will see quickly how expensive they are.)
Truth: Flannel produces a lot of lint, which can mess up the delicate machine parts. A repair could cost me $100 so that's why I avoid using flannel.
Truth: Thanks. I will look through this and keep what I can use and donate what I can't use .Is that okay with you? (I use this line because I may find 10% of someone's cast-offs to be something I like. But I won't keep ugly fabric. It burdens my soul! If it's not okay with them, why are they donating to you?)
Truth: I love gift cards. They're just about my favorite thing besides this new hobby of mine.

If truth doesn't work on friends, you have bigger problems. LOL

LyndaOH 02-22-2015 11:53 AM


Originally Posted by Feather3 (Post 7100523)
Tough one. I'd guess they assume because you are male you prefer flannel fabrics. ALL fabric is usefull in some shape or form. Perhaps you could use some of the fabric to make lap quilts & donate them to your local cancer center, or make dog beds & donate them to your local SPCA. As for the scotty dog applique'....never say never....until you have tried it....ask your wife to work on it with you. Make a list of fabrics/thread/notions/etc you prefer & have your wife spread the word.

Good luck

Laura never said she or he was male, so I don't think you can assume that's the reason for the flannel. I've always found that when someone gives me a gift of fabric it's what they might enjoy receiving. If it's not my taste, I'll make them a gift from it. Then later in conversation I can let them know what I'm enjoying working with.

Onebyone 02-22-2015 01:57 PM

I would say thank you and then store in closet until time to clear out and donate. The givers enjoys the giving so let them give.

tessagin 02-22-2015 02:13 PM

Be thankful it isn't bags of fabric scraps from clothing that people decided to give and not launder. LOL! Yeah that went into the garbage (most of it).
If you have your stash in order by batiks, upholstery etc. within sight so everyone can see then you can kind of show them a list. You can separate the flannels just like in the stores. You could put like a little shopping list of what you need and mention sales. Go ahead and let them look or your wife so she can make her own list. You could tell them to send you a link of a really great website or pattern.

suern3 02-22-2015 02:52 PM

Well, your friends are sure trying to support your new hobby, aren't they? :) But, I can sure understand your frustration. IMHO, I think you are going to have to be lovingly honest with your wife and explain that although you appreciate her thoughtfulness you would really prefer gift cards at this point. She can then pass this along to friends or not and you can graciously except the gifts as you would any gift, then either put them away until "later" or give them to Goodwill or your preference. A gift is a gift, nice thought, may work for you or not, there is no obligation.

Laurajbr 02-22-2015 03:12 PM

Thank you all, especially for the perspective. To my friends and wife these are probably "saw this, thought of you" lighthearted gifts, and I may be investing them with more weight than they need. I promised myself I would NOT build a stash, but I think I was delusional, and underestimated the generousity of the people in my life!

I have managed to avoid nicknacks. I have quoted my mother's rule of gifts too many times "never give some an item they will have to dust". I love chickens, and I can only imagine the nicknacks I could be flooded with!


I am female as is my wife. I am sorry that was confusing.

Greenheron 02-22-2015 03:43 PM

If you have room, do keep those well-intentioned gifts. I am old enough to testify that it is quite possible your quilting interests will evolve. (And if you pre-shrink those flannels well they make a great light batt or foundations for string piecing. ) The five yards of, to me, extremely saccharine pink floral print from a friend never became something I liked but it served perfectly as backing for an embroidered top for a little girl. Beware, though because veteran quilters can tell you that presents of fabric/patterns may also be stealth hints of "make a quilt for me."


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