There seems to be two key issues here - one is what is and isn't appropriate and how to handle the inappropriate and the second, how the board is organised.

In an ideal world, the first issue should self-regulate but this isn't an ideal world so I think the bottom line is policing. I disagree with the 3 strikes idea preventing ppl from posting. I already KNOW that if I post foul language or am insulting to other board members, there's a chance I'll be banned - doesn't stop me from posting. I agree with KLue that most of the rules are already there - they just need to be enforced.

As to the organisation of the board, I agree that maybe PDA IS the place for the negative stuff. But all the other non-quilting topics - gardens, places ppl live, pets etc, I think still belong in GCC. I just took a look there and a huge percentage is ONLY jokes and links to funnies on the internet. There's no balance at all now! Could I have some feedback on the idea of a single café for banter and ramblings? Thanks. :D

BTW thanks so much for agreeing to Mare Stare staying in GCC. :D

BIG - I agree entirely - that's what I was trying to express in my ramblings about sense of community and chance to support ppl - you put it much more clearly! :D

It's not just the fact that they are depressing. Life is life.

But negative topics tend to fill the entire section.

So far, I've seen three types of topics that spread out of control:

- Overall personal negative stuff
- Prayer requests
- Jokes

And I'm not talking about a thread spinning out of control. I'm talking about many different people creating similar threads of their own and flooding the section.

On it's own, neither one of those is a big problem.
But imagine the GCC section consisting primarily of those topics.

If we didn't do anything at all, that's what would happen. And we did a lot to stop such topics from spreading long before the introduction of the PDA section.

So if you think there weren't any problems in GCC a few weeks or months ago, that's because we've been enforcing many of the rules meant to keep the section balanced. It just wasn't as visible as it is now.

Can we please concentrate on the part I posted in bold instead of talking about who gets offended by what and who complained and so on. This won't help us find a solution.

I want to figure out how to keep the "contagious" topics from flooding the section without restricting the communication any more than necessary.

This is the tough part of discussion that everyone seems to be avoiding.

First of all, let me say to Admin and the moderators, thank you for all the work you do to keep this board going. Yours is a thankless job and I don't think a lot of people realize how much work is required behind the scenes.

I've read all of the posts on this thread and here's my 2 cents for whatever it is worth. I'm wondering if you could make a separate category for 1. Jokes and 2. Prayer requests -- sort of like you have a heading for Main, Introduce Yourself, Recipes, etc. For news regarding those bad things that happen to us all, could you make a section titled something like I Need to Vent? That way, folks could choose to visit whatever headings they want (for example, I usually only visit Chit Chat, Pictures and Main).

For repeat offenders, I suppose the only thing to solve the problem would be banning them. Perhaps for a day the first offense (with a pm explaining why), a week the second and permanently the third.

Someone, I don't remember who, posted a suggestion about having a calendar so we could send the moderators info about birthdays, etc to be posted. I think that's a wonderful idea.

I don’t really have anything new to add, but wanted to post my thoughts.

I have to agree about the negative postings - leaving them out of the GCC and post them in your pda instead. Those who choose to share can post them in their personal space. And if they wanted someone specific to know about it, they can pm that person directly.

Topics with many subtopics are just too confusing. If it’s ok to post a picture of your pet in the critters section of the gcc, why wouldn’t it be ok to just post it in the regular gcc section? Same with b-days or anniversaries? They disappear after a couple of days anyway. I liked opening the gcc and seeing whose b-day it was and wishing them a happy b-day without having to go to a separate topic.

I did enjoy seeing pictures of others pets, or where they live or their gardens or vacation pictures in the gcc section. Most people won’t see these posts if they’re put in the pda section. And I don’t understand why these wouldn’t be considered “interesting”. Those posts always got a lot of positive responses.

Thanks for all your work, admin and moderators.

I am a person who does not relish confrontation, but when it's necessary, let it be productive. I am loving this whole thread, the good, bad, and the ugly. Why? bc it gives me insight, to what other ppl are thinking and feeling, and my fear level goes down.
I am an introvert. I married a very extroverted man. He is a shoot straight from the hip...and fast...type person. He may have rubbed off, a little bit in the joking dept. out of survival with his family :roll: :lol:
Ok. heardja. I been real good for a while now, and will continue.
But...he hurts more feelings than I do.
Bc, long after the smoke from his gun has faded, I may still be pondering a shoot, or laughing about an imagined one.
POINT? - remember, - different strokes for different folks.
Just bc you assume a person means to be ________ (fill in the blank with a negative assumption), DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE.

Kwhite - you get a standing ovation from me. Not my call, but tools and flags, are an excellent idea.
a flag doesn't have to be for any one person, but for the thread, so each person would stop and think...is it me? how do I sound to others?
reality check, flag.
A fire drill or alarm is for everyone, and nobody gets hurt, individually, bc maybe more than one is "out there"...and needs to check themselves.
Really don't think we have been having this problem as much, in past week or two, imho.
How about a list of suggestions from admin, and voting by members on them. Majority rules.
Then ppl will stop feeling 'controlled', and there will be no reason to complain.
A calendar is a great idea...to me.

I would like a description or a definition of the following:
- troll rate (thank you! bearisgray :D )
- attention seekers (ok, I'm blonde and admit it)
are we referring to "sellers of wares?" , ppl that join, only to stir, be silly, and disappear...like the quiltsurfer, or whatever he called himself?
I probably have more questions, but can't think of them.

I agree that one or two complaints to admin about a thread, or comment,
are not enough reason to remove it.
why?
bc, ppl can complain to a buddy via pm, and both go pm a complaint.
Has this happened? I have no idea what's been happening, except having been a moderator, once upon a time, your view from that side of the fence is different from the average board member, who is coming online/on board for enjoyment, comraderie, to share, etc.
If I opened pm's all day, and most of them were negative, I might think there's all kinds of trouble/problems on my board, while the average member, is oblivious, until they keep hearing or seeing signs.
But....are things really as bad as they seem? or do we just need adjustments? Let's keep it in perspective.
This board ain't got no flat tires...
Don't we all love it here? aren't we all appreciative overall?
We don't need a new transmission, just a tune - up.
I for one, think we should have these discussions every 4-6 weeks, and like now...really open up.
I think we are all very sincere when we say our thank you's, but isn't it nice to feel ok saying, "this kind of bothers me", without fear that your going to be boo'd off or chastised?
I think there is fear here already and agreee, that a three strikes rule, would ensure dust and tumbleweeds in GCC. don't agree? try it.
If I got a pm from any member that said, "Qc, you said it was ok to let you know... ____, but make sure that I am guilty or unaware, and I will beg your apology. don't agree? try it :mrgreen:
In theory, 3 strikes sounds ok, but admin would then be inundated with fearful pm's,...Is this ok?
Is this offensive?
what do you think of?...and then the person would have to relate their whole post, to be sure he gave approval of the whole thing.
You think ppl are smart enough to decide, and don't need to ask.
We are smart.
But we are all here, bc we are all wondering about something, came looking for information. Not knowing everything, is not the same as being dumb. to me :mrgreen:

I really don't want to create any more sections/categories.

It's a quilting message board, after all :)

Well here's my little contribution to this. Since being back on this board i have noticed alot of what has been discussed in here the groups that seem to be playing games and hijacking posts alot with all the rest of it. I have wanted to post things that would fit well into the guide-lines of being good for everyone but becouse of the actions of others and being a man in here basically a minority i have held off in doing so. My solution to that issue was to stay close to those i know and feel comfortable with in here, also showing pics from a photo sharing site via the chat room has worked well for me. When i noticed the personal diaries section the first thing i did was pm admin saying thanks for that, it seemed to me that its a good idea to give the rest a place to basically be themselves and cut down all the rest of what was going on. I can't offer much of a solution to this i wish admin and the like the best in finding a solution to all of this. Chris

That's another thing I forgot to mention. It's not always "a few people causing lots of problems". Most of the time, it's a bunch of users each "doing their own thing", but combined it results in the outcome I described.

So banning won't accomplish anything. And it wouldn't be fair to the users, as each individual poster didn't really do anything wrong.

That's a very good argument :)

as I said before- apparently admin and the moderators are doing a good job - because I had NO CLUE that any of this was an issue

except I would like that there could be "new" threads for people in the "diary/personal" section when they have something major come up in their lives and they want/need feedback/consoling/prayers

the way it currently is in the diary section - there is no way of knowing there is something major going on - can the person do an edit in the top to signal there is something new? I only read a couple of the first ones that came on and they seemed pretty trivial - hi - glad you're here- etc etc etc - so I really didn't bother to go back - but I would like to offer a sympathetic word or two when appropriate and I know about it

QC thank you. And

I agree:

"I think we are all very sincere when we say our thank you's, but isn't it nice to feel ok saying, "this kind of bothers me", without fear that your going to be boo'd off or chastised? "

Think of it as the inverse of the signal-to-noise ratio :)
The percentage of junk posts, if you will.

Nope. It's not about selling. It's when someone starts a post just to make as many people as possible notice it.

If you read and follow the rules we already have - whether you like them or not - your post won't get moved. if it does get moved, take the hint and be happy it was moved instead of deleted.

if you read and follow the rules we already have - whether you like them or not - your post won't get deleted. if it does get deleted, read the rules again before you attack me about it.

i do not delete things because one or two people complain. i delete things that are in clear violation. i may find out about them from one or two people, but they'd have been just as incorrect as if i'd seen them first myself.

i went to all or nothing because i saw no other choice. i didn't enjoy it. it was the only way to avoid opening loopholes and floodgates. i broke down and let some members talk me into making an exception and left up the "old" mare stare because she was about to drop at any time. as sure as G-d makes little green apples, somebody else used that as an excuse to hurl an ugly accusation because they didn't get the same favor for a new stare. under those circumstances, how much freedom can i feel to make exceptions or "creative interpretations" in the future?

help us make a list. help us check it twice. we'll know in a flash who's naughty or nice. it might be a list of what is allowed; it might be a list of what isn't allowed. it doesn't have to be written in blood or set in concrete. it merely needs to be a clear and concise place to start.

if your post is within a permitted category, it stays. if it doesn't, don't cry foul when it disappears. if you deliberately try to word it cleverly enough to stay within the letter of a rule while obviously violating the spirit of that rule, don't complain if you don't get away with it.

if it isn't on the list, but you sincerely believe it would be a great new category - ask before you post. that will accomplish two things: (1) we'll identify something new we didn't think of; (2) you won't get deleted for deliberately ignoring the rules.

in addition to some reasoned contributions (thanks very much for those :P ), i see a lot of "i want", "i don't like", "this is wrong", "that should be", "give me", "give us", "do this", "don't do that", etc.

unless i missed it, one sentence is consipicuous in its absence so far from this conversation: "I volunteer to help".

(Snipped for brevity.)

I must have missed something, because I thought that posting prayer requests wasn't allowed (or mutually agreed upon, at least, not to post them.) IF that indeed was the case, then we should either revisit the issue or enforce the rule.

Jokes, on the other hand - we've had some good ones posted, I'll be the first to admit. Taking them 'over the line, however, I just don't agree with. I may think they are funny; the next person in line might not. If we can't err on the side of caution, then we probably shouldn't post them at all. There are lots of places to find jokes on the Internet.

As far as overall personal, negative stuff, I refer back to my original post here - this is the Internet, not our living rooms. This is public, and its as public as it gets - some things should simply be private. Take it to PMs or e-mail; don't be offended if a Moderator suggests that to you. Negative, biting comments are uncalled for, hurtful, rude and just plain tactless - and people should be called on it so it stops.

Admin, I wish I knew of any way other than heavy moderating or just not allowing problem topics, but the only other thing (self-policing) isn't working very well. I'm getting a sense of what people feel they are entitled to, what their 'rights' are - but, sadly, not the responsibilities that go with those 'rights.' I appreciate, very much, the effort to accommodate as many members as possible; I just don't think it's realistic.

No one has the 'right' to post anything here; this is Admin's party :D and he gets to make the rules. If he sees a problem, then its a problem. It is rude to argue that fact with your host. He gave us an inch, and miles were taken. I wouldn't blame him in the slightest for taking it back. In the end, that may be the only option we've left him.

I think this is a good point.
Some love the diaries, some choose or don't have time, to read.
Ok, you have a friend who has a diary.
You can't keep up with their diary, but you would want to know if something major happened.
I would also like to say thank you, to admin for pointing out, that we have different issues to consider, and it's not all one thing, or one person, or one, ugh - 'group'.
If someone had pm'd me in the past with a reasonable request to please refrain from ____, I might not be wondering, NOW,....
thank you to you, too, for saying it here :wink:

Gosh darn, Patrice - I guess I did just the opposite, didn't I? :oops:

I haven’t been around here very long. The opinions I express here are certainly are not directed at anyone or any specific conversation. Actually, I haven’t even fully read this thread, I simply wanted to express my thoughts to the Admin on the subject he posed, so here goes...

One board cannot be everything to everyone — however one forum owner can obviously be too generous.

There are multitudes of boards available where people can enjoy conversations, get information, find support and advice in areas that deal specifically with topics that do not add value to a quilting board: coping with illness and loss, parenting, diet plans, relationship issues, finances, religious, political, and so many other issues. The reason many of us are not currently on those boards is that we do not wish to read about those topics or even to sift through them. I can see that these topics could be included within some conversations here, but only as it relates in some way to the quilting world. Also, there are PMs available for carrying on off-topic conversations with one’s friends here.

Too much extraneous content dilutes the value of this board.

I am concerned that as the membership grows, so will the unrelated content which could turn this board into a place where we only vaguely recall sharing our quilting ideas. If unrelated or overly personal content continues to grow exponentially, into possibly the majority of discussions or Topics folders here, then the survival of the Board could be threatened. Potential new members may come into the site and see the content as too off topic, too personal, or too complicated by the array of folder and sub-folder choices. Those people may choose not to read on, not to drill down, and certainly not to join in or contribute. That could easily bring the Board to stagnation, and threaten its survival.

So what to do…having an endless list of rules and regulations creates an atmosphere in which most of the discussion centers around those rules and regulations, so that doesn’t work. Having multitudes of sub folders for off-topic threads only further complicates things so becomes ineffective.

What about considering simplicity? Eliminate the sub-folders. Keep Chit Chat but please DO moderate that area to prevent it from being misused, as it currently seems to be. If that requires too much moderator work, then consider doing away with it as well. It just may be in the best interest of the Board, and easiest to moderate, by simply keeping it true to its purpose: a quilting forum.

I personally would like to see Chit Chat continue if possible, there is much to enjoy there. I enjoy the personal contributions of the members on everything from where they live to their cute pets. However I definitely agree with what several others have said here — threads on sad topics, personal tragedies and the like is something that is hard to bear, and it brings me down even seeing those subject lines. I feel bad because I cannot respond in meaningful ways and there is nothing I can do. I want to, I need to enjoy my time here and to have it be inspiring, not emotionally draining.

As far as posting jokes, news events, announcements, etc. those threads, in my opinion are much like pollution — not needed here and no value added. There are places for that: jokesforum.com for entertainment, ap.org for news, and facebook or twitter for personal announcements, and many more.

I believe that the members would understand that providing the server space and the moderator hours to attempt make this board everything to everyone is unrealistic and likely detrimental to its purpose.

Thanks for allowing me to convey my opinions, and thank you for providing a quilting forum.

I thought this conversation was a way of gathering information so that a game plan to improve could be made. What exactly are you looking for if not an open exchange of thoughts, ideas and information?

as far as I can tell - the bottom line is - this is Admin's board -
and we are ALLOWED to play on it -
and Admin is being nice enough to allow us some input

if Admin is fed up with everything, he could pack this up and spend his time and money on other activities

although I really really really hope it never comes to that

I'm going to be away for a couple of days, so I won't be responding.
Please continue submitting your feedback.

Thanks.

Yes this is BUT we are human and as humans we are social creatures so it starts out as "just a quilting" site but becomes family.

How do you think I feel I come back after being gone and post something I have shared with very few people...and have it moved..geee I felt bad and that only added to it. BUT I took the time to stop and see hey something changed and read...was I upset with Patrice NO.
Now we have this big "problem" ok I am being self centered geee did what i do bring this to a head? dang I really didnt mean to rock the boat......
I will suggest a short note hey moved your post should be here.

Dang I didnt know mare stare was moved.......Please bring it back....cuz you never know when a new one is going to be ready to start watching....

Patrice you made a very good point....What can I do to help? Here I am use me. I know I am not the most popular person here but I try to be fair and honest and upfront with everyone. I have not been nasty to anyone even when snotty comments are made to me so hey, I am not all bad LOL
Really what can I do to help?

well, I must be completely daft...
I'm not thick skinned,...at all....
I haven't written one single word on this thread, with any particular person in mind. That is not my style. If anything, I am too accommodating, afraid to hurt ppl's feelings.
What I meant about being daft, is every time I read that someone has been nasty, etc. I think, I am on here, about once a day,...except days like today, lol, and I don't see the negativity ppl keep referring to.
That's good. thanks everybody, that is not posting negative, nasty remarks or replies. :mrgreen: I am being funny, not sarcastic.
I joke as a way of coping with life, it's who and how I am. A WHILE back, my own, style of joking kind of downward spiraled. I APOLOGIZE, for the last time. Stop beating my dead horse, lol. :mrgreen: (ok, so he's wooden :wink: )
kwhite, you have a good eye, and I had the same feeling...I thought admin invited us here, to share our views.
I have not volunteered, bc
1-I didn't hear a request for a volunteer (s)
2 - I can offer support to ppl, send blocks for things, sometimes, share a smile, yada, yada, yada...I am limited as to what I can do, other than be a good member. I am a community benefactor. Admin thought that was valid enough for a little recognition. That was very nice of him. (again)
3 - even admin does not want to be a dictator, or he wouldn't have blinked at what we, as members think. It is his board, it is his party, they are his rules, and he can do what he wants, BUT, I for one, appreciate, that he is not going to use that leverage to 'force' us into submission, or throw open the door...my way, or the highway, so to speak.
I am here, and stay here, bc of his style of running this board. He really wants it to be successful, and he values the members. We are not pawns, to keep it running. I feel validated. I will leave, when I don't feel that way anymore, and I will pm or email all my friends, if it ever comes to that. He asked for opinions, and I have shared.
I have enjoyed this thread in a let's put our heads together for a better board, kind of way. I haven't been offended by anyone...lol, so far, anyway.
I don't agree with everything I have read, but that's ok. I didn't expect to. Neither did I come here thinking, everyone would agree with me. That's ok, too. I can still shake hands, bc that's what civil ppl do. :D

i'm tickled to report i've also received several pms in the past short while from people who'd like to know if and how they can help.

it would help very much if one or two people would volunteer to moderate the General ChitChat section for us. you don't have to be a 'puter whiz to do it. we can explain anything you need to know about the specific steps for each task. the primary qualifications would be:
-you're a regular visitor to the GCC anyway
-you have attention to detail and quality control
-you promise to check the section at least each morning and each evening (say ... before or after dinner). it helps if you're willing to do this for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, while you're on vacation, and at 2am if some sicko decides to plaster pornography all over the place because you hope you can find and delete all of it before somebody has a heart attack during their morning cruise.
-you have to be prepared to accept abuse and accusations. the overwhelming majority of our members are absolutely adorable sweetypies, but a few can get pretty viscious when they don't get their own way.
-the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job are helpful but - c'mon - let's get real. just promise to do the best you can. :wink:

sounds pretty dire, i suppose. but the upside is that you'll meet wonderful people from around the world. you'll hear "thanks" often enough to keep you going through most of the hard times - usually just at the moment you need it the most. uncanny, but true. :P

any volunteers?

if you're unable to add such a major commitment to your daily to-do list, here are some things you can do instead:
-remember that this board is about "us". not about "you". not about "me". not about "i". or "them". it's about "us". every decision and change that's ever happened here has been a sincere attempt to serve the needs of the group.
-read ALL of the rules ... the general rules you can link to from the bottom of the page AND the special guidelines for each section.
-review ALL of the rules periodically to check for changes.
-follow ALL of the rules even if you think they're goofy. if something confuses you, just ask. we'll be happy to clear it up.
-suggestions are always welcome when they are presented logically, calmly, pleasantly, and with the needs of the group in mind. "i want", "i need", and "i don't like" are not reasons for change. only a well reasoned concensus is good reason to consider a change. (mobs with pitchforks and torches should please stay home.)
-please accept that there will always be a need for limits. respect them. don't ignore them, or test them, or search for loopholes.

what we need right now are some simple, clear suggestions we can use to redefine the limits. we tried our best to set limits that didn't embarrass anybody, or make them feel unwelcome. the whole point of being so strict and extreme was to avoid singling out any one person or type of person. so much for that idea. too many cats are now out of the bag. for each example Admin was forced to present, there's bound to be at least one member out there somewhere hurt, humiliated, and crying. that causes me more pain than the attacks on me have done.

as i read through, i gathered that Admin feels comfortable giving pet pics and stories a "go" for return to General ChitChat. clear. easy to interpret. therefore, easy to moderate.

i believe the same has been agreed upon for vacation stories and pics. again ... clear. easy to interpret. therefore, easy to moderate.

if it generates a smile it's probably safe. if it'll make us laugh, but not blush, it's probably safe - provided we can ever agree to which is the no-no notch on the blush-o-meter. (i gotta tell ya, that one gives me the willies.) :roll:

do you see where i'm headed? specific, clear suggestions. and, yes, it's ok to suggest would shouldn't be there. just, please, be diplomatic about it.

if you have some unhappy news you sincerely believe most of the members will want to hear, please send a pm to either Admin or me so we can figure out whether or not it should be posted and then present the news on your behalf. that way, we know what's going on and you don't have to worry about accidentally crossing a line even we have a hard time seeing.

let's not rush to post anything yet. let's talk some more and build our working list. (again, i stress, not written in blood or chiseled in stone. a place to start.) when Admin gets back, we can present it for his consideration and he can let us know which he approves and which he doesn't. it's just a few more days. (you can use the time to round up and scan all those pics you've been itchin' to post. :wink: )

Hi Patrice,

Thanks for that - seems very clear and reasonable to me. :D

Patrice, you said you hear it a lot, but here it is again. Great job and THANK YOU!

Great job, Patrice, I can understand all of it. And it seems to be common sense!

I didn't even open this thread for a bit as I thought it was just to introduce how to use the new section ... But when I did I thought, "What? Really?" I don't know what most of it refers to.

My solution to things I don't enjoy/appreciate is to not open them. Truthfully, I rarely open jokes. That doesn't mean others aren't enjoying them. But if my time is limited, or I'm concerned about content, I just skip it and skim for other titles that are more appealing.

Help needed may or may not get opened, depending on how much time I have at that moment. There are generally lots of helpful folks here, so if I don't have time to check somewhat threads with vague titles, I know somebody else will have time and offer a solution.

Being a cat lover, I want to see/hear those stories - probably as much as many folks do the mare stare thread. That doesn't mean I think either is more or less important, it's just what is close to my heart.

All of us have depressing stories at some point. We never see our own story as the one that said too much, was too graphic, etc. Some people here don't have anyone else to share with and need to just be able to "say" what they are feeling. Again, if I don't have time/am not interested, just skip it.

Main and pictures I look at daily - sometimes more than once a day. General often gets a skim through, as do links. Occassionally the buy/sell/trade or swaps. The rest, never. But for somebody else, those threads that are more personal or chatty may be the only opportunity to "visit." I don't want them to lose that chance.

Personally, admin, I don't love the ape picture. But there was a thread not long ago that I stopped reading b/c, honestly, it was getting a little too... appreciative? ... of the old pic. And although that thread was heading into what I'd consider rude, I chose to ignore it b/c clearly others thought it was okay. If it was okay with you, I didn't feel a need to complain about it. And if it wasn't then I think you could either nicely say so in the thread and/or delete it.

I guess what I don't get is why, if people are offended in some way by a thread, don't they just ignore it? If they are unsure what a thread is, read a line or two, or a post or two, and if it's not to their taste/interest, move on.

Patrice, a big ol' THANK YOU from me as well.

I like your approach. Might I suggest that instead of agonizing over what hits where on the blush-o-meter....just announce that if it causes the moderator to need to ask themselves the question of whether or not one is appropriate, it gets deleted. When in doubt, toss it out. Having access to jokes is nice, but not a necessity or requirement or related to quilting. It's a fringe benefit, not a right. No one (but ourselves) should be appropriateness police of our own jokes and we definitely shouldn't put that burden on a volunteer moderator and then nit-pick about it. We're grownups, we know what should or shouldn't be posted in our community.

I have not been on this board long about a yr. I found it to be informative,funny and mighty helpful personally at times. But even with the personal problems I have had recently I didnt post them for a while because It did seem like that was all I was reading. There seemed to be more neg. and yes to tell someone I would never see what was going on and voice how I was feeling is kinda addictive in its own way. Now I just don't click the thread.
I have had some pic. deleted. Remember the Ugliest Material contest Now that was a lot of Fun. I ask Admin. He looked for it and stated Patrice probably was cleaning up. No big deal, That has to be done sometimes. Actually it should have been posted in pictures and it was in ChitChat. The board can get bogged down sometimes things have to go.

The jokes I used to post them I don't believe any were off color. But I have stopped doing that and very seldom look at any of them. Because of some of the same reasons others have stated
I do love the animals,gardens,pictures of places I will never see like Guam,spain,france. Mostly it is the quilting threads I now look at. The diary is ok but I don't have the time for it really. THE MAIN THING IS WHAT PATRICE HAS IN HER POST HERE. IF YOU READ THE RULES YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN'T DO. IF IN DOUBT ASK ADMIN. I posted wrong just recently and Patrice deleted it but saved it for me I had already deleted it off my harddrive and she posted for me in the right place. My comment to her is I will learn sooner or later where it goes.Thank you Patrice.
Change is good you can't stand still, this board has gotten HUGH. With its growth new ideas are a most. But don't let us loose the fact that this is a QUILTING BOARD and that is what attracted me to it in the first place. YOU Guys keep up the good work and the ones that don't follow the rules don't have to be here. MY OPINION
BillsBonBon

What first drew me to this forum was the wonderful stash of quilting information, inspiration, motivation, and the positive atmosphere. I soon found myself getting to know some of the members through their postings and I marveled at the sense of international community that was established here. The amount of support is amazing and I found myself wanting to participate in the help section.

Just like in a regular community, there are happy, sad, frustrating, confounding, and funny events. It is only natural that they all come up in the general chit chat section. Every member brings her or his socioeconomic baggage as well as their personality and spirituality. Everyone also has their own wit, and their own sense of humor. My assessment of the group was that we were a nice blend and there seemed to be room for everyone.

Being a moderator of such a large group cannot be an easy task and I commend the team for taking care of business as efficiently as you have. It appears that you have been bombarded with private messages and I feel your frustration.

My recommendation would join those who suggested "more categories." In another forum, I find the well-defined categories easy to maneuver and those I don't care about easy to ignore. In a prior comment, you said that was not something you wanted to do.

It's not that I don't understand the problems being discussed. I just don't see them the same way. See, I thought things were going swimmingly. I am not privvy to - nor do I care about the personal politics of some members or cliques. Right now, I just wonder how (much) the QB community will change and honestly, outside of this thread, I am very confused about what is and isn't OK to post.

I have not been on this forum for very long but in that short time I have really enjoyed having the access to the available topics. Altho I am not sure what the solution is I am hoping that as adults we can all reach a solution that fits everyones needs in one way or another. Even though I think the PDA is a good section I also find it hard to keep up withl. If it were more like the GCC thread it would be easier to follow, that way we could keep up with all the most recent posts. As others have said in previous post when you have this many people with all the different personalities you will always have some friction at some point in time. I also just choose to ingnore those post that do not interest me. Yes sometimes I open a thread only to find I am not interested so I just close it and go on. What is so difficult about that?? Now that we have all been made aware of the situation I challenge everyone on this forum to police yourself. After all in the end we are all responsible for our own action & reaction. Admin & the moderators are doing their best to make this a pleasant experience, but it is also our responsibility to make it one as well. As some have suggested maybe the moderators can PM ones who are coloring out of the lines so to speak. If this offends them chances are they will drop off at some point in time anyway.

Patrice, I think this type of solution is more "spot on"...we are adults and surely we have sense enough to understand the "spirit" of the rules and to adhere to them if we want to remain members of the board. I thank you for this type of suggestion.

While sub categories for the topics may on the surface appear to be a solution, I think that in the real world, it would make the board more cumbersome, harder to navigate and much harder to moderate. I don't want to loose the GCC section as I think it supports an important part of the board and provides a huge part of the "community feeling" of this board. Quite frankly, this sense of community is why I stay with this board and enjoy it so much.

i'm not embarrassed to admit that i am one of those that make 'off-color' innuendos. whose color? even if you have a dozen moderators all you have is a dozen varying opinions.

i vote for the 'put your topic name on the subject line for all the world to see' idea.

if you see a topic called 'cockroaches are infesting my house' and the idea dusgusts you, by all means, DON'T READ IT. if a post is called 'WARNING - RAUNCHY STORY HERE' and such things offend you, guess what you should do. on the other side if a topic is called 'my spring garden in pictures', you may very well want to see it. then by all means do. why can't people police themselves? and mind their own business? why should they care what someone else thinks is funny, dreary, disgusting or plain boring. as long as the topic line is honest, then everyone can make an honest decision. i think that the only thing that needs policing here is dishonest labeling.

i don't see a problem here at all. i recently put out a topic on GCC that was off-color. the topic name was something like 'blah blah, blah - IF YOU DON't LIKE RAUNCHY JOKES, DON'T READ THIS. now, really. did anyone not understand that? within hours that post was deleted. i didn't blame anyone. but let it be known that within hours also, more than two dozen people pm'd me asking where it went, because they wanted to send it on.
and they were people that i never would pegged for it. so tell me, did the conservative people speak for the majority or just for themselves. and those of you who pm'd me should have pm'd patrice. i dont think i have to defend myself for having an adult funnybone. if someone found that offensive, why did they read in the first place? could i have been any clearer? do they follow through on these things deliberately simply to have something to complain about?

i would like honest feedback here. honest. and not just from people who see all adult humor as x-rated.

As a conservitive how do you know it was one of "US" who complaigned? I never saw the thread so I cant make a judgement call.
As for adult humor yeah at times I find it funny....in its time and place.
We know this is a forum that has children and young adults who read so adult subject matter should be reserved for an adult setting.
Call me a prude but you want honesty. You want to share those types of jokes then how about a diary of your adult jokes? then everyone will know and keep the ones who are offended by it and the children from reading.
I am sure your not the only one who has done off color jokes so I dont think you need to defend yourself. You dont know if they read your joke, they could have been upset it was there on a family site which I agree with.
What do you mean by follow through on these things to have something to complaign about? If they were upset that is the Mods job to listen and everyone has a right to express their feelings about our board.
As for "OFF COLOR" we ALL KNOW when we hear/read a joke of that subject......If I would be uncomfortable having my teenage daughter hear it its off color and I wont repeat it in a family forum.
Thats part of the issue this is a family forum...we have children, young adults , and people of all different backgrounds and beliefs. We have to respect each other and try to treat others as we want to be treated.

thank you for your input. i say conservative because i feel that people who thought it was funny would not have complained. you're right. i may have been wrong. it may have been the raunchiest person on the board.
although that makes no sense to me whatever.

if you believe that it's okay for there to be a diary of adult jokes, then what would you have the subject be called? and how would one keep young adults away from it. i would hope that children are supervised when using computers, so that's a moot point, right?

personally, i don't want my family to see the downers that are on the personal column here. and i don't want to read them either. so i just don't. and i believe that's only fair. i can't understand why others can't afford me the same rights that they feel entitled to. you write what you want to and whoever wants to can read it. I write what i want to and whoever wants to can read it. if i give fair warning, then don't read it. when a post explicitly says DON'T READ, why read? if someone says the stove is hot, do you put your hand on it?

if you read my previous answer on this post you will see that i warned everyone in CAPITAL LETTERS that there was material that some might find offensive. no one was obligated to read it.

what i mean by follow through is this: deliberately going past the warning sign when they know what to expect and then reporting to the teacher. yes, i want to be treated as you would have me treat you. i treat you with the respect that you, as an adult with opinions, should be treated. i put up warning signs. do others prepare me to listen to their stories of woe and grief? i have enough of that in my own life. you don't have to hear it and neither do i.

if you don't want your teenaged daughter to be exposed to this humor, then turn off your tv, don't allow her to go to the movies, school or have any friends. cut off all communication with the world, because adult subject matter will not go away.

sincerely though, i do appreciate that you took the time to answer. that is what open forum is for, after all.

IMHO...I think this is more of a negativity issue. A simple rule to remember...if you're really needing to vent something negative...do it in the Personal Announcements section. After all...most of us try to be here for each other and are more than willing to lend a shoulder or just an ear. If it's a negative that you've managed to make a positive, heck yeah I want to read it, and since we all need more positivity in our lives...General Chit Chat would be good. A good laugh is never a bad thing...we all need more grins too...but if in doubt as to the "tone" of the joke or story...ask admin or post it in your personal announcement area. Bottom line here is...positivity brings positivity
negativity brings negativity. Personally, I'd much rather exhibit a positive (and yes most often SOMETHING positive can be found in any negative)attitude in even the worst of situations. Doesn't always work but I still try. Keep it positive, and your gonna be lifted up...keep it negative and you're going to walk through life in concrete shoes with a big sack of sand on your shoulders. I think Admin just wants the negatives, and woes in a place where those of us who are close to one another can more effectively deal with it, instead of putting it in a down hill negative spiral for the whole board.

So...I guess I'm saying like Mom told me...if you think it's wrong...then it probably is....so in this case...if you think it might belong in a personal announcement...then it probably does.

I really do want to thank Admin for giving us a special place to keep up with each other. A place where we can support each other on a personal level.
And...Thanks to Patrice, and Shadow for dealing with us through thick and thin.

It REALLY is a quilting board first and fore-most...we always have pm and emails if we prefer that resource over the personal announcement section.

jbs, i'm not trying to be sarcastic. i really want to understand this. i'm not sure there are lines.

if i win the miss america beauty pageant, is that something everyone wants to laugh at or is that confined to the personal section? if there are 8 x 10 glossies, is it in pictures?

there are so many overlaps. that's why i think capital letter subject titles could work. BFW WINS BEAUTY PAGEANT - HAHA! not interested? don't read. right? i won't be insulted. i won't even know. JBS'S KIDS LOOK ALIKE - YAY! hey, i would read that. MY FAVORITE FOXGLOVE DIED. sorry, not that interesting to me. i'll take a pass on that one. no one will know. it's like a buffet. or a chinese menu. one from column a. two from column b. you put your reading matter choices together yourself. no one chooses for you. fascinating concept :mrgreen: but, who knows? i think it has possibilities.

Well here are a couple of my thoughts, good, bad ot otherwise. I liked seeing the birthdays annouced in GCC cuz I am still a newbie and am getting to know everyone, but maybe not well enough to know when their birhtdays are to go to thier diaries. But I liked being able to send them a Birhtday greeting. As for the negativity, I admit I like to send cards when I think the occasion warrants it but if it is buried in a diary I fear most of the board will miss it. I know many have contributed lately to sending squares to make group quilts and I think that is a VERY positive thing from this board, but again if it is buried in a diary how do we as a large group reach out to help a person(s) ? I am sorry I don't have any solutions and yes I have noticed the changes recently about the board and am not really sure how I feel about all of them.
Jokes I usually skip over, pics I love (Don't we all?). Mare Stare I was there and yes we got silly but we where trying to keep ourselves awake so as to not miss the blessed event, and even had a call system set up in case someone was sleeping or busy so that all could watch :shock: . I miss seeing the pics of the ponies , all of them :lol: I don't post much as I am not sure what to post ot where, but when I have posted I have learned and received a lot in response. And I love to see where others live , different cities, states, countries and cultures. Its an education all in its own !
And I don't think we say it enough but, THANK YOU ADMIN AND MODERATORS for all you work here ! Change is never easy, but sometimes neccesary for the good of the whole.

BFW, I sure hate to jump in here, being new and not really knowing much about anyone here, but I do want to add this little bit. Please don't be offended. I enjoy most of your jokes but have been surprised to see some of them on this site.
Many people use Net Nanny or other types of web filters to keep thier children away from the adult sites that are in abundance. I would think even the word 'raunchy' would cause this site to be blocked from those computers. The information and encouragement on this site is priceless to new quilters. I would hate to think that young quilters would not be able to access it due to a few jokes. Just something to think about.