scrooge or sensible?
 

spending only what one can afford and paying cash for the items?

deciding (as a group) to donate to a charity instead of participating in a " gift exchange"?

baking only enough goodies to last until the middle of January?

committing to only the activities one has enough energy for?

( I realize that there are some things one has to do - like it or not - in the interests of family harmony)

Maybe I am a scrooge but I buy only what we can afford and pay cash for them. I have had to cut way back on my baking and candy making because of age and RA. Christmas for us is worshiping our Lord for His birth and being with those we love. Charity means so much to those in need and seeing children's faces light up when they get gifts they were not expecting. So I feel when we put what is important first we are just being sensible.

i SEEM TO BE HAVING THAT PROBLEM WITH JUST ONE dAUGHTER IN LAW THAT THINKS MONEY IS OF NO MATTER. oF COURSE HER PARENTS CAN SPENd MORE THEY JUST HAVE 2 cHILDREN AND ONE sON-IN-LAW i HAVE 5 cHILDERN 3 dil's AND 7 GRANDS. tHERE IS JUST A SMALL AMOUNT OF DIFFERENCE THERe! ( dang cap locks stuck) Thy all know my limit or at least by now they should!! We do what we can do with what we have!

Call me Scrooge too ..... With no family and tight budget, Christmas is very quiet for me. I enjoy the seasonal music but not the over-commercialization, the seasonal movies but not the foul language and obscene action. I spent many a holiday with extended family that only saw each other once a year or once every other year and who used the time together to impress others with his or her importance, deriding others for past mistakes. And I worked for many years in the government and non-profit worlds watching many take advantage of the goodwill of the season. Finally for me it's a quiet holiday doing what I enjoy.

We almost always pay with a credit card BUT always pay off the entire amount, when the bill comes. We simply don't like carrying much cash on us.

Our (grown) kids will be getting sensible gifts, for Christmas. For instance, my dd has asked for (homemade) scones, soups, and a crocheted scarf, along with "a pair of fuzzy socks . . . just ONE pair, Mom!" :D I'll include a few surprises but pretty much practical stuff. :thumbup: Ds is getting practical, needed/wanted stuff, as well. Included in his gifts will be socks (every year, he asks for new socks!) and razor blades! :thumbup: I also traditionally give them each a can of cashews, each Christmas! That started many years ago and they look for those cashews, each year. :)

I feel like any gift given, any baking done and any event attended with an open giving heart is perfect in the spirit of The holidays. No explanation required if one chooses to use cc's that is thier choice. If I can't pay for it in full at the end of the month I don't buy it I don't care what time of year it is that is my choice. Some years I give more than others I do it with the best of intent and the happiest heart I can and hope that it's received the same way if not that is a reflection of who they are not me.

And the opposite is true any of those things done begrudgingly or with a bad attitude is Scrooge like.

I, too, pay cash for everything. We keep it simple and practical with gifts. This year I am making most of the gifts. Thanks to my fabric stash :). I am so grateful to be able to spend time with family and close friend, that is a gift in itself.

we don't have money this year, but 4 familys condo's went up and burned to the ground last week. the money I didn't have is going to them. making all 7 little kids stockings with their names on it. I can do that, I have the fabric. i'll personalize all of them. they think Christmas isn;t coming this year. all 886 homeowners are giving in some way to help these unfortunate families out this season. I'm glad I can sew and have the ability to donate. also donating my mystery train quilt to the families too.

In our family we don't buy gifts for grownups, only for children. Most all of us have everything we want, and if there is something we really want or need, we buy it for ourselves. I only have 1 child, my sister also only has one child, both grown with their own children. So I buy for my son's 2 step children and his son, and I buy for my sister's 2 grandchildren and she does the same for mine. Neither my sister or I have extra money so we definitely don't go overboard. As far as baking, my sister does most of the cookie baking, too much cookie baking. I make pizzelles because everyone loves them, so when I do make them they are really appreciated and do not last long.

Like the rest of you we are working on simplifying our lives. I am trying to get most of our family to donate to charity instead of buying us stuff. Giving our kids money as that is what they need most at this phase of their lives. Things are not nearly as hectic at Christmas as it used to be. Life is good.
Lynnie wish I was there to help you with those stockings, so generous of you!

I save $50.00 a month in my Christmas fund - I generally go over it with gifts, but it is all paid off by the first of January. I love giving to my family and friends. I do not go overboard, but I really have fun doing this. This year is the corker. I got my son a gift card from a pig farm for two baby pigs when they are born this Spring. I found a Wrought Iron "When Pigs Fly" figure and he can put it in a window in the pig house or whatever you call it. I also got my daughter in law a gift card from a Cheese making company. They got a cow and she wants to learn how to make a good cheddar cheese - she already has the goats for feta cheese. So I got her a Wrought Iron "When Cows Fly" she can put in the milk house or wherever she is going to make the cheese. I am so excited for Christmas this year. I also am in the process of making and planning to make six quilts this year as gifts for when I finish them.

Happy Christmas and God Bless us Everyone - Edie

I haven't done secret santa at work for quite a while because it seemed to get out of hand with people overspending. Decided to this year since it's my last year teaching. There is a set price for gifts that is reasonable. A few of us went to a craft sale yesterday and I got some perfect gifts for it at reasonable prices. So that was helpful. Am turning down an invitation for a quilt class I thought I wanted to do this week. Afraid I wouldn't enjoy it with all that has to get done.

Trying to keep things reasonable! While still enjoying the season...

I know this sounds like scrooge. I'm getting the oldest DGDs thrift store shopping cards. With the cards they gave me a half off coupon. SSSSOOOOO after Christmas we will all go shopping. They love the thrift store and with them all growing so fast their money will stretch pretty good. It gives them a day with Grandma and shopping.

My DGD - only one, spent the night. We made Barbie doll clothes out of socks. We had a couple dirty looking socks to experiment so she pretended Barbie had to work on her car and got a little dirty. We did Barbie clothes out of the socks and a little sewing then all of a sudden she quit. She said we needed to wait for the other girls so they could have fun MAKING the doll clothes. Miss M is hoping for a big bag of mismatched socks for Christmas.... Then we found pintrest had all kinds of ideas for making doll houses. So guess what else we might try to do...

We have a large extended family on my side. We used to buy for everyone.....when we both worked and were rich!!!! Now that we are retired we buy for all the grandnieces and grand nephews. I think that we are going to have to cut that back. We have 3 children, their spouse's, 7 grands and 2 greats. I like to enjoy Christmas, give homemade gifts and forget the hassle! We do use the cards but pay them off in Jan. Like the perks for Disney and airline tickets!

My youngest son married into a large, well-to-do family. They are lovely people who love giving parties and always are generous when it comes to giving gifts. For several years we exchanged gift cards but it started to feel like they would give us a gift card for X amount, and we would give a gift card for X amount, so we were really just trading gift cards back and forth. So this year we will be giving them a card that says that we have made a donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital in their name.

I have four grandchildren and THREE of them have birthdays in December. So December turns into a very expensive month for me. I try to give them *one* present off their list and then everyone shares a Night Before Christmas box, which has new PJ's for all the kids, a DVD they can all watch together, and hot chocolate and popcorn.

Choose what is comfortable for YOU to participate in. Do not let outside forces "dictate" to you. Or make you feel guilty! In the end, you are in control and that is what matters.

i would not bake goodies to last me thru the middle of January. I am fully aware that we will gobble them
up by Jan. 1!

Blessed Christmas!
sandy

DH will not pay a finance charge if he had to sell blood to not do so. LOL. All cc bills are paid in full every month. So I only buy what can be paid off. I buy my adult kids more then I buy for the grandkids. It's my children's place to buy the grands their Christmas. But I want my adult kids have a good Christmas too and many times the adults get left out. Just the way I think. I don't do much baking or cooking. There is a great bakery close by and a very good catering business that will cook all the side dishes for me. I bake the ham or turkey. It's my holiday too and I don't like being in the kitchen with a big mess to clean up afterwards.

Exactly, so well said I would not change a thing you have said. All too often some of us get so carried away to the point that they will be carting us away by the time we get it all paid off. I am not going to do that.

I use to make everything for Christmas for family & friends. We have 4 children & spouces, 15 grand kids & 4 Greats. With my DH disabled now, I just can't do it anymore. Way to many to do for & they all understand. With them all living far away, the postage alone is way more than we can afford. I do still make things for them, but they only get them when we are able to see them all at different times of the year. We & they like it knowing they get goodies when we get together & we get to watch them open them. That makes it special for all of us. Our Christmas is spent thanking or Lord for what he has given us.

We got rid of our cc years ago. Sometimes but not often do I get somethings on time, like flex pay. I do not enjoy Christmas as much any more. The joy in the kids is great but someone in the family said I did not treat her children the same and she gave money, what she thought was equal. I tried to tell her I didn't buy the gifts my husband did. He gave what he wanted them to have. Not thinking of being equal in money. Everything has changed. They are in town this weekend and I do not want to see them. I am so unhappy. The last time I saw her she thanked me for no drama!

There are people who have an addiction to control and it is just as serious a problem to them and those around them as any drug, alcohol or any other addiction. Don't let theirproblem/issues kill your happiness & joy. Hurt people, hurt people - it becomes a chain. If it is possible, be the first to break the chain.

I don't give Christmas presents no close family to give to. So I donate to a children's charity the amount I would spend on cards presents and cooking. This year the local church asked for gifts for children in hospital over Christmas ages 0 to 16. I managed each age range with a quilt except 5678 they all have a wrapped gift. Rthe rest got a quilt in various sizes and designs. I didn't know I had so many quilts squirrelled away and not completely finished I'd sandwiched but not quilted and bound.
All wrapped for under 12 teenagers put all quilts in a large tartan bag and told them to take a hug. No idea how it went but hopefully they will appreciate some. I feel great and best of all I have a large space to put more quilts in.

I would stay as far away from that jerk as possible. My youngest DD was acting like a drama queen and she was told to not come to our family gathering as she made everyone uncomfortable. She would be welcome if she left her snotty ways behind. I'm her mother and told her exactly what I would tell her if she was ten. She apologized and said she wouldn't act up. Things are fine now.

We stopped exchanging gifts in my family years ago and I finally weaned my friends off exchanges. I enjoy making sweet spiced pecans for everyone. This year I made drawstring totes and put the jars of pecans in the totes. My friends are aware that cookies are welcome but no purchased gifts. :)
I send a nice check to one nephew with kids and a less than wonderful income.
Then I sit down and write a nice check to Feeding America and my favorite dog rescue www.WheatensInNeed.org
I am fortunate not to need a thing and it makes me very happy to do all of the above.

Sadly people have gotten to the point where they EXPECT a gift. I give if I can, if not I give a card. I have a DD who seems to think the cost of the gift is a 'love gauge'. I'm sorry about that, not sure how that happened except her Dad and I divorced when she was young and he was always bribing her with gifts. The Lord loves a cheerful giver and if I cannot give cheerfully, I don't give at all. The birth of Christ and His magnificent gift of salvation should be gift enough for anyone, in my opinion.

Life is too short, to let negative people impact your life. If you don't want to see them, then DON'T see them. If you must be around her (for whatever reason), just treat her as you would someone who has had a few too many drinks and 'isn't quite right in the head.' Be polite but start speaking to someone else, if she approaches you.

Sensible! No more paying off Christmas gifts for six months after, cookies are wonderful but I don't need to be eating them in January and the pleasure I get from making things for my family is all the joy I need.

After many years of hearing "I already got that" or "I'm too old for that" we decided that money fits everyone. Now we write 1 check per family, include it in a card and say that's it. We do this for our 5 kids and they all get the same amount regardless how many offspring they have.

My husband and I do not exchange gifts for any holidays, birthdays or anniversaries. We celebrate each day and do as we wish. We decided long ago that we don't need a "date" to share our love, that we do it all the time.

I have learned to stop giving to the children when they are out of high school. That way I can afford to get something for the little ones. Now days when money is so tight you have to do the best you can and running up debt just isn't wise. My biggest gripe is postage. This year they have changed mailing and you have 2 choices, next day or priority. It cost 60.00 to mail 4 pkgs. I am almost at the point of just sending gift cards and I just hate to do that as it takes away the personel part of gift giving.

My parents grew up during the depression so money was important to them. They worked hard 6 days a week, put money into savings or stocks and was able to retire early in life. Having money didn't make them happy though as they missed out with spending time with the family (kids). My father always told me that if you didn't have the money, you didn't need whatever it was that you wanted. Today that's hard to live by as everything has gotten so expensive and in this system of things, we're taught we can always charge it or take out a loan. Now that I'm retired, I'm trying to get back to the thinking that if I don't have the money to buy it, I don't really need it. Yes, its hard at times but I'm finding it easier to live by those rules. If I quit buying fabric right now I still have enough to use for many years. I find sharing what I have more fulfilling too.

Making gifts for others shows how much I think of them as I'm taking my time, effort into making the gift. I haven't given a store bought gift in years and most everyone around me know that. I try to make something they can use or enjoy with their likes in mind. If that makes me a Scrooge, so be it.

If I have more than I need whether its food, clothing, etc. I will share with someone that is in need. That's what the good book asks of us and to do it joyfully, not begrudgingly and not expecting something in return.......and not bragging about it either. Giving should be between you, the receiver and God.

That's all I have to say on this subject.

I, too have cut back on giving this year. We are helping our son with some very expensiv dental bills and that has really strapped us. We need to simplify our lives....all of us. In Bible study this week, I heard a great quote. "Remember, it's not you birthday." That has really stuck with me. We are making donations to favorite charities.

this year we pared down, hugely. i'm in my second year of retirement. hubby's in his 15th. income is down by 75%. i'm at a place where i really only "need" the necessities of life. my kids are grown, with families of their own. so, no gifts for the grown kids. none for us, please. if you really want to get us something, a roll of stamps is good, or a giant pack of toilet paper! the grandkids will get spoiled, but not to the extent of the past. the oldest are "challenged", so they, too, will get goodies--but again, not like in the past. the babies (both under a year) only want to rip up the paper, anyways--so small gifts, and a check to their folks for the baby bank account. we do charge things, but they are paid off immediately. rule of life: if we can't pay for it, right now, we don't need it. my youngest's opinion is that it's really about family and food, and the celebration of christmas, anyways. i agree. time to take it in hand, and keep it controlled.

I don't see one thing on your list that's unreasonable or Scroogie. They are all sensible.Go for it.

Today's manufacturers just want you to spend your money and the REAL reason for Christmas is forgotten, and today's "modern" society goes along with it. I find it utterly stupid to buy gifts by credit and you're still paying for those gifts, years later. As far as I'm concerned, Christmas gifts are for children, so if there's none around in the family, then there's no gifts, we already have the "gift" of life.

Like Nessie; we use the credit card to buy then pay it off immediately... But we don't buy the granddaughters the lavish gifts that the other side of the family does (her inlaw family).. we find out what size clothes they need, socks, undies. If they need a new back pack; items like that. We do give the three granddaughters each a 25.00 gift card to their favorite store to buy something they truly want as well.
We don't like to go into stores carrying alot of monies, and its just a little safer with a card (unless of course you get the card number thief.. then its heck with credit card company!).

We are spending Christmas with my in-laws. For them, there is no "christ" in christmas. It's just about exchanging gifts. This year I've lowered my amount to spend on each person to about $10. I have realized that I cannot get these people the "perfect" gift with my budget (cash only) so I am just trying to get them something semi-thoughtful. It has reduced my stress level considerably. My kids know we don't have a lot of money; we spend about $200 each on them, and my husband and I just exchange stuff we need like socks and clothes. We are starting to simplify things a little more each year.

I think you are being sensible. It is better to pay cash than get too far into debt with the credit card companies !!

why on earth would any of these reasons lead to being called a Scrooge?

I have gotten a "prepaid" debit card and put the the Christmas $ on it. When it's gone, I better have all the Christmas bought because that's it. No more. DH and I always make sure we buy for our kids first (even though they are grown, we try to buy things they "need"). Then we buy something that our parents "need" such as clothing or replacing something that broke. then if anything else is left, we buy for each other, but it's usually something we "need". I don't need anything else sitting around the house to clutter it up. Oldest DS doesn't really buy us a Christmas gift. He gives us something large that we need during the year. He still lives with us, and last year he bought us a new 50" TV as were still on old analog TV and it was about to go out. That was our Christmas and birthday gifts from him. Youngest DS is still in college and planning a wedding. We try to help him out and get stuff he needs. He doesn't have much under the tree this year, he's doing a lot of work on his house fixing it up so we got him a gift card to Lowes and told him to name a weekend and we'll be up to help him with a project. The future DIL told me that the curtains I made for their house was her Christmas present. I still buy a little something for my nieces and nephews that are under 18 years old, but it's usually kept under $20. After they turn 18, I don't buy for them anymore.