How many of you folks are raising someone else's child(ren)? Grandchild, niece, nephew, foster child, stray? How long have you been doing this? What are the challenges you have and how do you deal with the problems? Do you still have a life or is it on hold? Was it a mutual thing between you and Spouse, or were they reluctant? Are you sorry you got into this, or are you happy, sad, discouraged, frustrated, pleased, content, satisfied? How much time do you get to quilt now? Has it enhanced, or destroyed, your life?

When my kids were in school, it seemed that there was always someone staying at our house because they weren't wanted or taken care of at home. I saw it as my chance to let them know that life could and should be better and that someone did care about them. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. One came back later and told me that he had loved staying at our house because I made him take a shower, gave him clean cloths to wear, and told him to eat his veggies! And then there was one poor, sad young man (17) who committed suicide because neither parent wanted him and he was told that constantly. It still makes me angry that they threw away the wonderful gift that this boy was. Of course, at his funeral, they cried buckets and swore they didn't know he had a problem. I wanted to slap them both. It really didn't interfere with my life, cause they all knew that the rules for my kids applied to them. If I was needed to raise my small grandchildren I wouldn't hesitate for a second and DH would feel the same. It would be harder on us now that it was when we were younger, but we would deal with it.

I am not raising my grandsons, but I do babysit for them a couple of days a week. DD is a nurse and works 12 hour days, but lives an hour away from work. She drops them off at 5 AM and picks them up at 7 PM. We love them dearly and it is well worth it that they don't have the expense of day care. (especially since we couldn't find a day care that would only do a few days a week and for such long hours). But,, boy am I tired when they leave.

I asked the question because there are 4 million grandparents in the US raising their grandchildren and I don't know how many others raising children that aren't their own. There are a lot of grandparents on this Board, and I thought some may be in this position. Honey, what you did was sooo important! I'm sorry to hear about a suicide. That is heartbreaking.
Being a grandparent and taking care of them is a big time and energy commitment. I applaud you both for helping to care for the next generation. Our children are the future and they need some values to go forward with.

We also watch Grands when necessary. We don't do it on a full time basis, but we do have some about 1 day a week. This gives us a chance for great one on one time. Tomorrow out 4yo GS is coming. We will spend some time working on writing his name and the abc's. I talk to the oldest GS every day about school. I try to reinforce what his parents are teaching him. In todays world kids and parents need all of the support they can get. I take it very seriously as one of my grandma jobs.

we only see 2 of the grands about 2x a year. Local gs- once a week for 3 hours when mom & dad bowl. she doesn't like to share. I'd take them in an instant and they all know it.

She is really too old to be raised but, oldest Granddaughter had a lousy home life and when her Mom decided to get on drugs, DGD at 18 needed a place to live, Stepmom was jealous and Dad was spineless, so she moved in with us. I wanted her to know what normal life was. She's been here almost 5 years. She was going to Junior college, working and decided to become a Realtor. She will not accept any money help from us. She has earned her own money since 16 but, I don't want her living by herself. She is the most responsible young person I know. I've been an important part of her life and she is very grateful.

My husband's grand kids live a thousand miles away. We get to see them once or twice a year. The 16 year old and 15 year old keep in touch by texting. Cameron is only 7, so not so much. My four granddaughters live in the next town. I usually have one of the girls every weekend. They call and ask if they can spend the night. My daughter and granddaughter have lived with us almost her entire life. It's harder being a Grama to her because she lives with us, but I enjoy her, she keeps me young at heart!

I have 4 grand kids that live with me, the oldest is 14 and he has lived with me his whole life besides about 8 months, during those 8 months he was ready and waiting for me to pick him up on friday nite and keep him for the whole weekend! The youngest is only 2 months old, their mother has moved back in and is caring for him, we pretty much take care of the other 3, I work full time and my husband is there when they get off the school bus and watches them until late sometimes when i get home, to tell you the truth, i dont know what i would do without them, now my daughter is planning on getting married again and taking them (within the next year) Im almost positive that the oldest will not be willing to go, and i wont let her make him. I would be lost if i lost "my kids"

You will only be able to keep him if his Mom is agreeable with it. I spent DGD live until 18 doing stuff for her Mom (our daughter) so I could see her and always tried to get her Mom to take up for her and treat her right, she never would. When she was about 8, her Mom didn't want her to come visit if I wouldn't also take her other two. Her Stepdad didn't treat her right and her Mom only thought of herself and also treated her like she was a Stepdaughter also. It sure caused me lots of pains,tears and sleepless nights. I sure hope things work out for you.

Our sons friends were always at our house. We have 6 kids of our own but now we have "our other kids" too. Some of them still stop in form time to time even though our son is on his own. We have been invited to graduations and weddings. One of the girls even asked for pictures with us because we were her "other parents". The house is too quiet now that they are all grown.

Yes, we took one in at two years old and it really changed our life in many ways, one of which was financial. She is 23 now and back after graduating from an Ivy League college and living with me until summer taking some post bach biology courses before grad school. Lost my husband last year so enjoy her but it was hard for many years. Wouldn't take anything for her though. Don"t know where she would be if we hadn't taken her as her situation was dangerous.

I had our oldest granddaughter until she was 4 1/2 ys old. Her mother just couldn't get her life straightened out. We dearly enjoyed her, but yes, sometimes I was wanting to have more freedom. Then her mother married a nice young man who adopted our GD. When she left it was awful. For a while my husband and I had a terrible time dealing with it. She is now 27 yrs old and has a daughter of her own. (our Great GD.) But we still have that close bond even though there are 9 other grands to love also.

Mic-pa, you are so rite about the close bonds. Our DD, DSIL and oldest GS lived with us the first 5 years of his life. When they bought a house and moved across town, he begged for them to "go home". Even though they were close, I think I cried every day for a month. He is now 12 and we are still very, very close. We have 4 other DGS's and I love them all dearly, but the bonds that were forged with him will always be strong. I see him everyday after school and we are both so happy to have "our" time.

We babysit our 2 Grandchildren twice a week.

I don't get to see my grandaughter at all. She is on the east coast. My daughter is in the airforce.

When my granddaughter was born and released from the hospital, she came to my house. My daughter had a C section, and her husband was too lazy to help her. She moved back to the in-laws house when she went back to work. Her husband couldn't understand all of the time and attention a baby requires, eventually the rocky marriage failed and the two girls returned home. My granddaughter has grown very fond of her Papa and me, and us in turn with her. She considers our home her home, which it is. Thank the dear Lord, my daughter is a wonderful mother and always puts her daughter first in her life. She takes good care of her, physically and emotionally. We plan the roles of parents sometimes rather than grandparents because we need to teach her manners, sharing, responsibility, etc. We can spoil her when we take her out, or baby sit while mom gets out. But it's a fine line to walk. I love hearing her voice in the morning, and receiving her sweet kisses every day. Both my husband and I like having the two of them there. Yes, sometimes we remember when our house was ALWAYS CLEAN, not littered with toys, books, and play dough. But the love and joy that we experience from out little Rilee, far outweigh any inconveniences she might bring with her.