yourstrulyquilts

How many of you folks are raising someone else's child(ren)? Grandchild, niece, nephew, foster child, stray? How long have you been doing this? What are the challenges you have and how do you deal with the problems? Do you still have a life or is it on hold? Was it a mutual thing between you and Spouse, or were they reluctant? Are you sorry you got into this, or are you happy, sad, discouraged, frustrated, pleased, content, satisfied? How much time do you get to quilt now? Has it enhanced, or destroyed, your life?

Honey

When my kids were in school, it seemed that there was always someone staying at our house because they weren't wanted or taken care of at home. I saw it as my chance to let them know that life could and should be better and that someone did care about them. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. One came back later and told me that he had loved staying at our house because I made him take a shower, gave him clean cloths to wear, and told him to eat his veggies! And then there was one poor, sad young man (17) who committed suicide because neither parent wanted him and he was told that constantly. It still makes me angry that they threw away the wonderful gift that this boy was. Of course, at his funeral, they cried buckets and swore they didn't know he had a problem. I wanted to slap them both. It really didn't interfere with my life, cause they all knew that the rules for my kids applied to them. If I was needed to raise my small grandchildren I wouldn't hesitate for a second and DH would feel the same. It would be harder on us now that it was when we were younger, but we would deal with it.

craftmama

I am not raising my grandsons, but I do babysit for them a couple of days a week. DD is a nurse and works 12 hour days, but lives an hour away from work. She drops them off at 5 AM and picks them up at 7 PM. We love them dearly and it is well worth it that they don't have the expense of day care. (especially since we couldn't find a day care that would only do a few days a week and for such long hours). But,, boy am I tired when they leave.

yourstrulyquilts

I asked the question because there are 4 million grandparents in the US raising their grandchildren and I don't know how many others raising children that aren't their own. There are a lot of grandparents on this Board, and I thought some may be in this position. Honey, what you did was sooo important! I'm sorry to hear about a suicide. That is heartbreaking.
Being a grandparent and taking care of them is a big time and energy commitment. I applaud you both for helping to care for the next generation. Our children are the future and they need some values to go forward with.

Honey

We also watch Grands when necessary. We don't do it on a full time basis, but we do have some about 1 day a week. This gives us a chance for great one on one time. Tomorrow out 4yo GS is coming. We will spend some time working on writing his name and the abc's. I talk to the oldest GS every day about school. I try to reinforce what his parents are teaching him. In todays world kids and parents need all of the support they can get. I take it very seriously as one of my grandma jobs.

Barbm

we only see 2 of the grands about 2x a year. Local gs- once a week for 3 hours when mom & dad bowl. she doesn't like to share. I'd take them in an instant and they all know it.

Jingle

She is really too old to be raised but, oldest Granddaughter had a lousy home life and when her Mom decided to get on drugs, DGD at 18 needed a place to live, Stepmom was jealous and Dad was spineless, so she moved in with us. I wanted her to know what normal life was. She's been here almost 5 years. She was going to Junior college, working and decided to become a Realtor. She will not accept any money help from us. She has earned her own money since 16 but, I don't want her living by herself. She is the most responsible young person I know. I've been an important part of her life and she is very grateful.

Grama Lehr

My husband's grand kids live a thousand miles away. We get to see them once or twice a year. The 16 year old and 15 year old keep in touch by texting. Cameron is only 7, so not so much. My four granddaughters live in the next town. I usually have one of the girls every weekend. They call and ask if they can spend the night. My daughter and granddaughter have lived with us almost her entire life. It's harder being a Grama to her because she lives with us, but I enjoy her, she keeps me young at heart!

wittygurl

I have 4 grand kids that live with me, the oldest is 14 and he has lived with me his whole life besides about 8 months, during those 8 months he was ready and waiting for me to pick him up on friday nite and keep him for the whole weekend! The youngest is only 2 months old, their mother has moved back in and is caring for him, we pretty much take care of the other 3, I work full time and my husband is there when they get off the school bus and watches them until late sometimes when i get home, to tell you the truth, i dont know what i would do without them, now my daughter is planning on getting married again and taking them (within the next year) Im almost positive that the oldest will not be willing to go, and i wont let her make him. I would be lost if i lost "my kids"

Jingle

You will only be able to keep him if his Mom is agreeable with it. I spent DGD live until 18 doing stuff for her Mom (our daughter) so I could see her and always tried to get her Mom to take up for her and treat her right, she never would. When she was about 8, her Mom didn't want her to come visit if I wouldn't also take her other two. Her Stepdad didn't treat her right and her Mom only thought of herself and also treated her like she was a Stepdaughter also. It sure caused me lots of pains,tears and sleepless nights. I sure hope things work out for you.