You gals give good advice, and my son is 17 not a baby so he'll understand his dads position. I too am very frugal with my money throughout the year, and buy only necessaries, always putting money back for the rainy days that come to often. We dont eat out all the time or take fancy vacations.

yes we are very giving as quilters, we never get what we give to a quilt. I actually have a quilt in the making for the ex, how sick is that!

Your ex can give your child a gift. Gifts don't have to be items such as TVs, game systems etc. Gifts can be as simple as a day together fishing, or doing his chores for a week, in other words his time. Don't feel quilty(I like that Clem55/Carol) for your ex he's not yours now(happy dance) hence the ex. Give your son what you want to give him. Let your ex give his son what he wants to give him - hes a big boy now he can take care of himself. If he really wanted to give monetary gifts he could have gone to a temp agency to get some Christmas gift cash.

I , too, would like to know the age of your son. I would send my son several gifts--and i don't mean expensive ones necessarily. I'd probably even add a few tokens for his stepbrother...i'm a sucker...but I'd sign the cards with my name and make sure they knew I sent them. (Add, Just saw your son is 17. He probably knows he situation, but I'd send a few extras. As for making your ex a quilt and worrying so much about his situation, are you sure you're not becoming an enabler? He has a new wife and life...There are many more deserving people in your own life who would appreciate your work...)

I agree here, I am sure your son will know that it comes from you anyway.... The ex should have thought it out before and found a minimum wage job long ago for X-mas presents, if there is a will there is always a way....

I wonder if you say "no" firmly, if your ex will find the money some how to buy your son gifts? :wink:

These people made their own choice. Let them live with it.

Buy the gifts you want your son to have. It's safer than letting ex spend as he wants.

Well I went and got my son for the week, didnt give ex any money. I have helped him in the past with money for groceries, A long distance card so his wife could call her kids. He's not mine to take care of anymore. My son will have a good christmas at my house, I cant cure his dad I tried for years, hopeless case. He has found a job though my son says! Yeah for him! And my pocket. Thanks for all your thoughts, you gals are great!

well, you can see what is on my mind!!LOL

My heart goes out to all of you who have exes and children who don't live with you. I can't imagine the toll that must take. I know you have big hearts, because if you didn't you wouldn't be on this board. Merry Christmas to all of you.