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-   -   So what did you do when cancer came to your family? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/so-what-did-you-do-when-cancer-came-your-family-t86937.html)

Feather3 04-01-2011 02:26 AM

My husband & I are both cancer survivors. Him Malenoma (23 yras ago) Prostate (10 years ago) , me Ovarian (almost 2 years ago). It's tought getting thru the treatment. Ask family & friends for help with meals, cleaning, errands, etc. If possible have someone go with you to each treatment. The thing you need to do is concentrate on you & nothing else.

Best wishes for a full recovery.

jljquilter 04-01-2011 03:08 AM

I cried also. Two years later I just had a clear Mamo. Now down to one a year. I had two lumpectomys for two different spots. Got a clear field, no lympnodes involved, and had 6 weeks of radiation. Try to keep the faith. Listen to your Doctors and what your body tells you. Think positive thoughts, they seem to help. The big elephant sitting in the room will eventually get smaller but never seems to go completely away. Thinking of you.

iowabelle 05-21-2011 03:27 PM

I thought I ought to follow up with this and let you know what happened.

The last time I talked to my mom we had that fight. We emailed back and forth and things seemed to be going all right with her treatment. The tumor was gone but they were continuing the chemo.

Then she started to get blood clots and developed pneumonia. She went into the hospital at the beginning of May. On Mother's Day my brother emailed me that she wasn't doing well and was in the hospital, he wasn't sure that she'd be able to leave. My aunt decided to fly down to see her and got there last Friday. Mom was doing better and they made the hospice arrangements. Monday night she deteriorated and then Tuesday she passed away.

It was so sudden there wasn't time for me to get there, and my brother said they hadn't expected for her to go so quickly. I guess I should be grateful that for a death from cancer there wasn't a great deal of time spent in pain or in the hospital.

My mother didn't want a religious service so there won't be anything until we do the interment at some future date. I don't have much sense of closure about this.

I know it's early yet so my crying jags aren't unusual. I'm thinking about asking my brother whether I can move in with him. I do miss having some family around and I feel a little lost right now.

Theresa 05-22-2011 03:44 AM

Am so sorry to know about your loss. You are so right - she didn't suffer with the cancer and this is truly a blessing. My Mom passed away at Easter 20 years ago and Easter has never been the same. You'll probably have the same feelings about Mother's Day. I truly hope your brother is open to the idea of you moving in with him. Please let us know how you are doing. We care.

liminanc 05-22-2011 05:01 AM

I am so sorry for your loss.

nancy59 05-22-2011 07:44 AM

I was at the hospital with my daughter the day they told her there was a spot on her lungs, and she turned and looked at me and said "Am I dying?". I couldn't answer her. Two weeks later we found out she was at stage IV Melonomia. They never found the cancer on her skin. (2% don't). In private I cried, she knew how much she was loved, we cried together because she didn't want to leave the adorable daughter, it took her so long to have. I went with her to the interferon treatments and the gamma knife for her brain tumors. We were there to cook meals, help with the daughter who was only 3 and give her as much support as we could. I marveled that she would take the stance "It is what it is" We lost her within the year, but she knew her daughter would have a Nana that would be there no matter what, which gave her peace. It has been just a little over three years and I still miss her but I no longer cry daily.

MadQuilter 05-22-2011 09:19 AM


Originally Posted by iowabelle
My mother didn't want a religious service so there won't be anything until we do the interment at some future date. I don't have much sense of closure about this.

I do miss having some family around and I feel a little lost right now.

I'm sorry you didn't get the chance to visit and get that sense of closure. Unfortunately death waits for noone and it is up to each of us to deal with loss in our own way. I am sure that you can find a way to commemorate your mother's passing and you will have many opportunities to remember her.

As for "no family" - sweets, just lean on your QB family. We're here.

BrandyMcCoy 05-22-2011 09:43 AM

my mom had cancer three times, the first time it was hodgkins stage 2 the second time it was hodgkins stage four in every bone in her body, the third time it was basil cell carsinoma(sorry if spelled wrong) this cancer was caused by the radiation that she had from the first time she had cancer. It is very hard when someone you love gets cancer, you never know when it will hit or how many times in their lifetime, all you can do is try to stay positive for them and be there when they need you. Lots of praying and hoping....

Peeps 05-22-2011 06:19 PM


Originally Posted by Just-Lee

Originally Posted by amandasgramma
I cried...{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Me too...thanks. I don't really worry about myself, but the pain and agony it's causing my WONDERFUL husband is really more than I can take :cry:

I agree. I think it's harder for the family to watch me go through treatments than for me. I may be having to go through this again and I'm arranging supportive friends for my husband ahead of time.


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