Going through this at the moment with my dad. Had mouth and throat cancer 15 years ago and after a couple of major operations and radiotherapy appeared to beat it. Then my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer - lung removed - but unfortunatley - and lost her battle 12 years ago. Earlier this year my dad was again diagnosed with cancer - lung - not related to his previous cancer. He has been in hospital and pallative care for the last 6 weeks - close to my home - but wanted to go his home which is about 250km from mine.
What I have done for him is give him his wish - he went home last Friday - I would have preferred him to be where I could go and visit daily - now I can only do it on weekends - I have put into place all the help I can get him to make his last weeks comfortable.
How do you cope - stay strong, look after yourself (it can be not only physically exhausting but also mentally), remain hopefull and give whatever support you can to your mum. My thoughts are with you, I know what you're going through.

I was just diagnosed with breast cancer and had my first consult with a battery of people..ugh. I also have stage 4 kidney disease, so I am very worried about going into complete kidney failure, as they say that I will need chemo and radiation due to tumor size. I am a little numb, very scared, and overwhelmed with information overload! For me, being told your fate and having to make a decision right then, is too much. I was there 4 hours and spoke with 8 people. I have no clue what anyone said, except surgery April 6, radiation, and chemo.

So, I have 6 days to make myself a comfy rag quilt and maybe a cancer hat, before I am too sore and tired to accomplish it. Due to all of my other serious medical problems, I will feel very lucky if I can just survive the treatments. I would really love a stiff drink right now....if I drank! lol

Oh well, such is life! There is always someone worse off in the world :)

I cried...{{{{HUGS}}}}}

The good news is-they've made so many strides in curing breast cancer. Hopefully they found it early. Do spend time with her and let her know you care. My sister died of brain cancer after suffering through it for 13 years. I was in denial most of that time-couldn't believe anything could happen to her. Never had any cancer in our family before or since. I still miss her and she's been gone 14 years.

Me too...thanks. I don't really worry about myself, but the pain and agony it's causing my WONDERFUL husband is really more than I can take :cry:

My dear quilting friend - There isn't anything I can say to make you feel better. Being through breast cancer (two types) 3 years ago, I can tell you, there are some wonderful medications out there that will help you get through all this. Having your dear husband there by your side and to lean on is a blessing. To this day I give my DH so much credit for being the best nurse in the world and being there for me. (He lost his former wife to cancer so hated the thought of his having to go through it all again.)

My prayers are with you. Please let us know how you are doing. I'll gladly respond to a PM anytime.

I'm sorry to hear this about your mother. We all wish her and you the very best.

As a breast cancer surviver myself, I'd suggest that you make her something that looks and feels like a soft baby pillow. This will keep her arms from bruising her freshly sutured skin under her arms. Trust me, this area is tender...

And like the others say, remember to always tell her how much you love her. Remember to mention little things she did for you as a child, this will thrill her that you did remember all she did for her kids.

First you pray a lot. In 1979 I had my first mastectomy and a year of chemo, 1984 the second one, no chemo. I was raising 3 small children alone at the time. I worked every day and took treatments on my lunch hour (I had a wonderful boss) and went back to work each time. It was very hard, but I made it. I prayed to the Lord to let me live long enough for my kids to be grown and on their own. He answered my prayers. That was 32 and 27 years ago. In 2000 (age 27) my baby girl had her first mastectomy and in 2008 the other one. She got through all the chem and radiation just fine. She can't have children, so she and hubby want to adopt a child. Hang in there, you will do fine. My prayers are with you. Take care...Mary

I had breast cancer in 1993. Elected the lumpectomy, chemo & radiation as it was in some lymph nodes. Still in remission, but dealing with effects of radiation. They can do so much now.
Ask her what she wants. Everyone has different needs. I needed one person to call per day & they could communicate with others, but I did want that one call a day. Visits, foods I could eat while on chemo, phone calls, cards in the mail, hats. All those helped. I never worried if folks "said the wrong thing". Who knows the right thing every time. Of course, you go through the stages of loss as there is a loss of health for now. Laughter is the best medicine they say. Going to the Lord in prayer was so helpful for me. That's why I say ask what she needs. We are all different in our needs. Peace, comfort & strength for all.

*hugs* to you!!!! I remember the horrible sick feeling when I heard that word "cancer" over the phone.... my dad had prostate cancer. Thankfully he was able to take care of it successfully, but I know that once I was over the initial shock, I started doing all the research I could so I could understand and support him. It's a scary thing to hear! She should be glad to have you - even though you're not close by her, your support will be so appreciated!