Some yuks in the middle of the night
 

A wife says to her husband "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back".
He says "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair".

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You're obviously not listening. "

My wife has been missing for a week. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back,

I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today!! At least I presume she was poor --- she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning, can you believe that... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Those are soo funny! Thanks for the laugh.

Those are one liners that Henny Youngman would have loved.

Real cute. I will use the one in the wheelchair at work tonight ( I work in the nursing home). lol

All are so funny, thanks for the laughs.

Eons ago (the early 80's) I saw him in Vegas. He actually sat at the table next & was so nice & friendly.

What a great way to start the day - GREAT LAUGHS!

Love them all! Thanks for the laughs!

Wonderful! What a great laugh!

Chuckle, chuckle!!! :)