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Thread: Some yuks in the middle of the night

  1. #1
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
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    Some yuks in the middle of the night

    A wife says to her husband "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back".
    He says "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair".

    I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
    She said she would like to come back as a cow.
    I said, "You're obviously not listening. "


    My wife has been missing for a week. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back,

    I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today!! At least I presume she was poor --- she only had $1.20 in her purse.

    My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.


    My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning, can you believe that... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
    (`v)
    `*..*
    .
    .*).*)
    (.(. (..`..♥ rebecca

  2. #2
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    Those are soo funny! Thanks for the laugh.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Connie M.'s Avatar
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    Those are one liners that Henny Youngman would have loved.

  4. #4
    Super Member mountain deb's Avatar
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    Real cute. I will use the one in the wheelchair at work tonight ( I work in the nursing home). lol
    ABCDEFG

  5. #5
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    All are so funny, thanks for the laughs.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  6. #6
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Connie M. View Post
    Those are one liners that Henny Youngman would have loved.
    Eons ago (the early 80's) I saw him in Vegas. He actually sat at the table next & was so nice & friendly.
    (`v)
    `*..*
    .
    .*).*)
    (.(. (..`..♥ rebecca

  7. #7
    Super Member pjnesler's Avatar
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    What a great way to start the day - GREAT LAUGHS!

  8. #8
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    Love them all! Thanks for the laughs!

  9. #9
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    Wonderful! What a great laugh!
    http://s1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh485/KitsieH/
    Never regret growing older, its a privilege denied to many.
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

    Kitsie

  10. #10
    Power Poster
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    Chuckle, chuckle!!!

  11. #11
    Super Member tesspug's Avatar
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    Had to read them to my DH. He is repeating them to memorize. I know he can hardly wait to tell them to his buddies.

  12. #12
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    thanks for the morning laugh!

  13. #13
    Super Member Latrinka's Avatar
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    HaHa! Those are too funny!
    If a woman's work is never done....why start?

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