Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money..
At age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.

:-D :-D :D

Oh, that gave me a real chuckle. Thanks for the humor☺

Those are ALL so very true!!
Darn it!!

Thanks for the smiles.

Sadly I relate to so many of them.

:)

LOL!

LOL! Love it :thumbup:

OH Ditter That is all true and soooo very funny! :shock: :mrgreen: :-D :P :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :XD: :thumbup: Thank you soooo much for the wonderful laugh and smile you just gave me! Right Back At ya! :thumbup: :-P

Ditter, Thanks so much for the laugh.

Thnaks for the chuckle Ditter.

If that does not put a smile on your face you have had one too many facelifts. ;-)

Those are all so funny. I like success. Thanks for my laugh.

thanks for the smile today!

The 'success' is right on the money!

Such truisms!

Thanks for all the laughs !!

Loved 'em! Viva Ditter's "Happy Posts".

So true! So true!

Tee Hee Hee!!!

Gee Ditter.Thanks for the morning laugh!

I started reading your Summary of Life, then I started laughing which caused the dog at my feet to start yapping in confusion. I guess she hasn't heard me laugh enough to know what I was doing, which leads me to believe your posting is just what I needed today.

It is wonderful and so true!

Ditter you always make my day, I find myself looking for post from you when I need a smile or laugh in my day.

This was fun, thanks. My husband is at the "looks like Santa Claus" stage.

YES!!!! I laughed myself silly! Ok sillier!!! Thanx!!

To funny Ditter.
Thanks for sharing those words of wisdom or truths.

You always make my day with your funnies. Thanks.

Thanks for the laugh. Am bringing this to a senior meeting. This should give them a chuckle.

too cute...

:D Thank You for the great laugh! :D These were good even though I can relate to some and have done many. :wink: I especially believe that: Raising teens are like nailing jelly to a tree. :D :D :D

Hope nobody had botox just before they started reading this.
Morningstar

Thanks for the laugh.

SUCCESS....that's what we have coming.....almost there :shock: :-(

Very funny and quite true!

Thanks so much for the laughter. It helps you live longer even with the wrinkles.

laughter is such good medicine...

DITTO! As always...thank you!!!!

Love your posts...always makes me smile...I bet just like you do to those around you!
Thanks,
Susan

Good one Ditter! I'm LOL and nobody's around to tell them why!!!