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Too many to list :lol: :lol: I'm always inserting foot.
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when I first started dating my husband I wrote to a relative that I have met a very nice male 'fiend'.
I am dyslexic. And I will stick to that forever! |
Originally Posted by aorlflood
I am an RN and work in a recovery room. One day I got a phone call asking about a patient. I knew that patient was no longer in the recovery room and said "That patient is no longer with us". The nurse standing beside me turned 3 shades of white and told me after I got off the phone that when I said that it sounded like the patient had died! :( That wasn't what I had meant at all!
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Too funny. :D :lol:
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For sure I was an Administrator and some lady knocked on my office door and being kind of busy said the first thing that came to mind, "Bring your knockers and come on in"...
Lucky it was someone I knew and she was not shocked, boy I will never forget it. |
Years ago I worked in a local store. The assistant manager liked to wear a turtleneck jersey insert under his sport shirt. One day as he was talking to several employees I came up behind him to hear his instructions and I noticed that part of the insert was pulled out over his collar. "Richard" I said "your dickie is hanging out." :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
In my vocabulary, a dickie was a fake collar and facing you could wear when it's too warm to wear a shirt under a sweater or another top. I had NO IDEA there was another definition. It amused the whole bunch for a couple of weeks. |
This afternoon I was watching Ellen...she put on this costume looking thing and was taking belly dancing lessons...made me laugh so hard. I sent my youngest a text and told her : "watching Ellen belly dancing and ROLFLMAO".....oh she put a message on FB wanting to know who was teaching her mother this language.....she also mentioned "she has had a stroke and if she rolls on the floor may not be able to get up".....all of this made me laugh even more ! Yes, I'm only 64 years old, have had a stroke, but recovered, and have discovered a really quirky sense of humor.....
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While having dinner with my MIL(Edith) and FIL(Richard), she always called him by Dick. Well Richard had a bad habit of using his eating spoon to get the butter for his bread. And she said "Spoon get your D*** out of the butter!" I about choked!
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New to working in the fabric shop, I was helping a customer shopping for a zipper. She told me the color and length that she needed, so I asked her “do you want one that opens up?”
The blank look on her face was accompanied by my wife coaching me from across the store: “he means a separating zipper”..... CD in Oklahoma |
I often do the "insert foot A into mouth B and chew on toe C."
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