You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart

These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes! How do they do it?

love love love this

Those dirty thieves; will they stop at nothing!

Thanks for the laugh! :lol:

the missing boobs happened to me after I lost 70#.
EEEEKKK it was scary and the flappy arms happened too.

:thumbup:

Too funny.

Your too funny!!!!

Tears from laughing :lol: :lol:

So THAT'S the explanation!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

They have been in my house too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thanks for the warning Ditter! I'm going to sit up all night with a stun gun and nail the sucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea Ditter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

I can't stop laughing :lol: :lol: :lol: And it so ture. :?

That thief hit here, too.

Wait I cant see,too many tears from laughing.My ribs hurt too.

Tears came to my eyes reading this one too! I'm fairly new to this site, but one of my highlights in reading it is reading your funnies! Thanks so much for the laugh tonight!

Sooo funny. Thanks for sharing.

LOL!

The thieves struck my house too....hehehe

boy they hit my house bad i think they got the dh to lol

You two crack me up!! :lol:
But, I'm also taking precautions......I live alone in the country on a farm.
There are nothing but pastures and cows around me. You don't think they....???? omigosh! :shock:

Jan in VA

I agree. Tell them to go away!!

I really love this. I am still laughing.
Thank you for making us laugh.

hahahahahahhaah

Yeah, well someone gave me a "Buffalo Hump"!!!!

LOL... Too much :)

Wait that is not flabby saggy skin on my arms it is wings.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll fly away oh glory I'll fly away. LMAO!!!!

Ditter 43 You are priceless!!! Don't ever stop.

Yes, darnit!! It happened to me too. in fact, I got so that
I simply would not pay a fortune for new fangled bras, so did what the snippy sales clerk suggested, I stuff my boobs in my pants pockets when I go out of the house and don't want to wear a belt.

lol

ROFL!!! OMGosh...I was taking a drink of Diet Coke and cracked up and blew it out my nose!!!!!!!!!!!! That was TOO funny and thanks for the sinus cleanse!!

So I guess I'm not the only one out there? And BTW, there is a Jenny Craig ad right above this box with a picture of Valerie Bertinelli who has the audacity to be the same age as me, but half the size!!

Thanks for laugh Ditter. You know what they say, reality is always the funnier part of life. Now, we just need to keep our sense of humor as we pass through. And, would somebody please catch those thieves.

This happened to me too!!!! I found all my missing parts but Cindy Crawford wouldn't give them back. Shame on her.


I had to go to the doctor the other day because of a rash on my breasts. It seemed to be spreading outward from the nipples. The doctor asked some strange questions about when I got dressed of a morning. I told him that since I retired a lot of days were spent at home in a nightgown without ever getting dressed. He then told wrote me out a prescription but said I didn't need to go to the pharmacy just follow the directions. He wrote:
Upon getting up each morning put on a good bra and hitch up the straps. This will prevent the rug rash. :lol: :lol: :lol:

People have no decency anymore....they will steal anything!

Thanks again Ditter, for my morning chuckle.

I am in the bureau years - my chest is heading for my drawers..

I will send you my stun gun. You are in the open. That's good. You can see him coming!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see, it's true!! Laughter is the best medicine! :lol: :lol:

It's nice to know this 57 year- old body of mine is not my fault!! :)