On something dumb I did -

I had a quilt draped over the ironing board - I was about half done hand-quilting it - cat decided to use the quilt as a ladder. I did do a very nice job of darning the tears - along with a bit of ----ing the cat. I was "horrified" at the tears. They really weren't all that big - but still - - -

Drove by a house that had 2 quilts out on the front lawn to make tents for the kids to play under. OK for the day, but they were out there for weeks..... in the sun....in the rain.....

Last wedding quilt I made for a couple, it took a Year to get a TY note. And then it was not "written", it was pre-printed, not even signed, no mention of what the gift was, and mailed by the printing company.

I was helping clean out a friends mothers house. She had a few quilts rolled up and in bags in the closet. She was saving them for "good". What "good" did she get? Saving it for what?
If you give someone something, it belongs to them. They use it and enjoy it in a way that makes them happy.
If the only memories associated with the quilt are your memories that you made it and how much you spent....it has no importance, except to you. Just because it is important to you, does not make it life changing to someone else.
If it bothers you so much, either ask for it back or just let it go.
Sometimes the stark reality stings, and we hurt when things like this happen, but we have to get past it.
Not every quilt is historic.

I make quilts for babies if I love their grandmothers, who are my friends, if you get my drift. Modern young mothers are "too busy" for thank you notes or even texts, unless it is to their BFFs. Anyway, I made one for a baby a few years ago and the grandmother, my friend said the parents liked it. Eventually I got a form printed thank you (impersonal) with the baby on another quilt!! Oy. But my friend the grandmother says the little boy, now 3 still has my quilt and drags it around with him. The mother is pregnant and I'm making a quilt for that baby, not for her, but because my friend the grandmother appreciates it.

i have one of my own. at 16 I started a 60degree, 2" diamond 6 pointed star put together with black diamonds. THe fabrics came from my grandma's stash, and I added some more. at 24, i had the skill to work with those points and diamonds to put it all together. I gave it to my mom for her birthday. I was horrified to see her using it to cover my brothers guitar and amps. they were dust rags!!!She said she felt bad not using so put it to good use!!!

These lines reminded me of a funny situation in my own life recently. It is slightly off-topic so I will keep it brief...about 10 years ago I was given several quilts from my Grandma's estate, and I have carefully cleaned each and displayed a few as my living situation allowed. One was a very nice GFG that appears to have been hand-quilted. It was different from the others in terms of material and general sewing style, but I put this down to possibly having been given to my Grandma by a friend. I cherished and cared for it, right along with the others...until just a few months ago I noticed a small faded label on it that said, among other things, "Made in China". After smacking myself on the forehead a couple of times, I spread it out on my bed and put it to use.

I do realize that yes, once it's given, it's theirs to do as they wish and I agree with that sentiment.

BUT, it is disheartening when someone shows a blatant disregard for the work and materials that you put into the quilt. With the cost of materials here, it can *easily* cost me $200 to make a quilt not to mention the hours and hours of work involved. To see one used as an oil-catcher to prevent a dirty driveway or people hacking holes into it shows a definite lack of respect. I bite my tongue about a lot of things, but if I saw a piece abused in such a way I wouldn't be shy to let them know, conversationally, that it cost x amount of $ to make along with x amount of hours and that I wouldn't be making the mistake of gifting them one again.

I want it to be used and enjoyed. Blanket forts, picnics, whatever, I don't care. They don't have to treasure it, but if they are just going to trash a piece, then I'd rather just take that money and toss in the garbage can myself and save them the trouble. Just sayin'.

This is a bit of a twist too. Before I was a quilter I did a lot of crochet and made everyone I knew an afghan. One of my favorites was one for my grandmother, it was a kit, and each square looked like a daisy. (The daisy is one of my favorite flowers.) She loved it! From the moment I gave it to her, it went on display. She had it on a chair in her TV room. So I thought - great, she is using it. She always said, "Why save it for good? Who is Goodder than we are?" It stayed in that room - my aunt who owns the house now told me my Grandmother would not let anyone else use it. They could look at it and admire it - but my grandmother was the only person allowed to use it.

A friend of mine, was very upset when she found out her grandson allowed their dog to sit on a quilt she had given him. I understood how she felt but after I read the book, "That Dorky Homemade Look" it really changed my opinion - I give a quilt and all I want is for someone to enjoy it and use it. It doesn't have to be showed off and admired - that is a perk - but not mandatory. I made one for a friend going thru surgery and chemo - she said she used my quilt to keep her warm and her kitty loved to cuddle with her on the quilt.

I quilted for many years before discovering on-line quilting communities. Yes I really Was a bit horrified at the large amount of equipment and supplies some people think they MUST have to make a quilt. If I had needed to spend That much money before even buying fabric, I would never have started. I can't help but think of how many limited income people are put off by it, thinking they will never be able to afford to make a quilt. I know I would have been, had I not already known better.