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she needs to learn responsibilty has my son has had to do 2 years ago he got a nintendo ds (handheld game system) was told to NOT take it out of the house but do they listen of course not because we are stupid parents who know nothing anyway he left it at a friends house a month after he got it and has not been seen since friend supposedly told people he sold it needless to say he is not a friend anymore and my son went without and is still going without if he wants stuff like that i will not buy it he is 14 and i make him use bday money for expensive stuff then when he loses it its not my money so i cant get so upset and it means more to him

Reality is all part of growing up....and so is responsibility.

Glad you found it!!! Hopefully she will be more careful with it!

By no means replace it, she needs to learn a lesson and as much as it hurts you, if you hide it under the rug so to speak, she will not realize what being responsible is. I would call the places myself,Maride is right, you as the adult will know exactly what to say. She needs to learn a lesson, not be tortured by it. And I agree with memawthomas, tell DH privately and then have your daughter tell him herself. I learned the hard way that you cannot fight all their battles for them or they will never make it in the real world.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stpatmom

Luckily, I didn't have to buy a new one. I decided on my way home to check the three places we were last night. Turns out she left it at McD's. We just got home about ten minutes ago from picking it up. The young man who found it had it with him. Bottom line, he said he found it, and told us he would be at work at 11. I made dd go with me. I also gave him a small cash reward which he tried to turn down, but I made him keep it. DD will be weeding the veggie garden to work that off!

One more thing.....I know there is no way I should have bought her a new one. I don't know if I actually would have. I'd like to say I wouldn't have, but I honestly don't know. It was so much easier when they were 3!!

Late to this thread and I am SO GLAD it turned out well for you!

My DH left his *wallet* at the grocery store last week - and the cashier had it for him - with all the cash and credit cards intact!

This gives me hope for the world - there are more people out there who have kindness in their hearts than you might think.

My husband is also out of work and I explained to her what a sacrifice this was.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I would do as one of my daughters did when she was a single mother.
She sat the kids down for a grim look at her finances, since at age 9 and 11
they were old enough to count pennies and dollars. This much for rent, this
much for insurance, this much for asthma meds, etc. As the kids themselves
tried to work out more money for themselves with the rigid budget, the reality
of it became real to them and all the "Mom, all the kids have it so I gotta get
it too" stopped flat out. They are both now married and VERY careful with their
money.

I am so glad this turned out well for you and your daughter. It is also good to know that there are still honest people (other than quilters) out there in this world.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stpatmom

I know you're right. I also know that if it were me, my parents would never have given me another one. Hopefully, she left it at the tutor's house. I still need to call her tomorrow along with the other two places. Hopefully, she just left it at the house, if not, I'm praying for good samaritans to have turned it in.

I just feel badly for her.....I'm also not looking forward to her telling her dad. I think I just feel guilty for getting that upset. Now I feel as though I was saying the $ spent was more important than anything. I guess I just need help sticking to my guns!

if she's 11, i'd make her make the phone calls, then she will appreciate the effort it takes to find what she lost! i hope she finds it, if not you know what she likes for christmas & i bet she won't lose it again.

I'M glad the itouch was found.but as for you to go an replace it if it wern't found noway my kids would have had to work for the money to replace it if they would of lost anything like that.
give her a hug an do let daddy know before it slips out that she had lost it an then found it.or there might still be blow up down the line.I know my hubby wouldn't replace one for my kids i they had lost a gift of that amount of money.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BellaBoo

When my teens asked for something that is costly, we give them the money to buy it. Funny how what they had to have suddenly wasn't that important. A less costly one would do or they didn't want it anymore. Seems when the item is given, the actual value is lost but if they spend actual money that is theirs, it's the most valuable thing ever. Just remember to not battle over the small stuff. Have several big rules and not a lot of little rules. I could care less how long my teens talked on the phone after going to bed (a little rule). They still had to get up early, make good grades and act civil the next day (big rule). It wasn't long before they figured out sleep was more important then any phone call. I saved tons of battling by not having a little rule to argue over them breaking.

My DH and I had 5 children. Whenever they wanted something expensive we told them to save up have the cost and we'd give them the other half. On many an occasion they had changed their minds before they had the money saved up. But it did give them a sense of how hard it is to save and they were more responsible once they did get it.

My son is now 40 and has 2 children of his own. The other day he wanted a new computer. He asked if I would give him half the cost if he saved the other half! Yeah, right!!! :roll: