What would you do?
 

My father, 93 asked me to repair a quilt I made 9 years ago. First time ever that I have seen so many fabric pieces torn, become thin and the white fabrics dull. This quilt is beyond fixing, due to over washing it and he takes a nap on it several times daily. He gave me the quilt and its not worth my time trying to fix it. I am making him a new one without his knowledge and hoping to get it done by Christmas. Possible if I can stay motivated...tough as I still have so much going on but possible. My sister disagrees with me and said if he asked you to fix it...just fix it. I am not going to. I am debating of not bringing over the old one...I would like to throw it out. I know he will love the new one as it is more his style. I made the first one with my mothers style and it was a gift to her. Would you bring both quilts over or just gift wrap up the new one? I doubt he has attachment to quilt, besides the fact I made it.

I would salvage a pillow for him out of the old one and gift him the new one. You are a sweet, caring daughter.

This is a great idea!!! I will make him a pillow after the new year.

I wouldn't yet cut or throw out the old quilt, but I wouldn't "repair" it either. Over washing or the products you use, dry bleach can take years off a quilt. I tell people that while my quilts are designed to be machine made and machine washable tbut hat cotton is a natural fiber and it is only natural that it was change with age and use

I have put on new tops or backs over the familiar favorite quilts, incorporating a tattered worn out blanky inside a quilt going to college.. My husband just destroyed a quilt I made him before he moved to be with me... long story but he got threw it into a bag with some stinky stuff and the smell transferred over. He freaked out that I would be so mad at him and instead of telling me and me doing some scent control, he washed it like 7 times in a row and just thrashed the vintage fabric I used for the back. Here it is 20 years later and with the new back the quilt is still with us and made the move.

A friend of mine asked me to repair an old quilt for her. I looked at it and thought I saw only 30 2x2 inch blocks that needed replaced but once I got it home there were more than 60 blocks to replace. These were the old, old fabrics, that medium green you can't replace easily but I found similar fabrics and then faded them with a weak solution of bleach so they were about the same density of color. Hand stitched each little block back in place and then added a bit of simple quilting to tie all the layers together. Years later she asked me to fix it again but I told her the last time it was almost beyond repair so she asked me to make her a new quilt which I was happy to do. Sent her photos of quilts I'd made in the past and she picked out one she liked and loved the fabrics too. Luckily I still had most all that fabric and enough to make her the over sized lap quilt. And yes, I used up every bit of that fabric to finish that quilt.

Maybe your Dad was thinking he was doing you a favor by asking you to fix his old quilt instead of asking for a new one?

Many people just have no idea of how challenging fixing an old item can be

It's a tough situation ... you don't want to upset your Dad, and I can appreciate this could go in different directions as to his reaction to how you handle the situation. Here's a different perspective than others have mentioned.........

You mentioned it was your Mom's quilt. While this may not be your Dad's style and you are replacing it with one more like him, the fact that it was your Mom's could be exactly why your Dad wants it repaired. To hold on to your Mom and his memories of her. Not fixing it may hurt him.

The pillow is a good idea as an option, though that too may still hurt his feelings as it is not whole. I've seen some old quilts using top stitching to put things back in place and hold down loose pieces. Or machine quilting with a large meander, to hold the shifting batting that we see in old ones, as well as catch the loose seams. Just some ideas for you to consider.

Good Luck ... and I hope you can do this so that Dad is happy with the end result.

I'd say so sorry Dad but the quilt is not repairable. I made you a new one. We have to fold and put this old quilt on the back of a chair so you can see it but not use it. If your sister is insisting on getting the quilt repaired give it to her and say be my guest.

I have a feeling your sister isn't a quilter.
I love the idea of bringing both or making a pillow out of the old one is a good idea too. If the old one was your mother's he may have a sentimental attachment to it?
You are indeed a sweet daughter.

I was also thinking about the sentimental attachment when I said I wouldn't alter the existing quilt yet. Present new quilt first and see how it goes over.

One way to salvage a bit more use out of a worn out special quilt is with bridal illusion veil. Chose a soft one and layer over the top and quilt down, you can leave any frayed fabric just as is. Usually need to replace the bindings too... and if the design can handle (like if there is a plain fabric border) the easiest way to deal with that is simply cut it off.

Making a new quilt for your dad is a wonderful gesture and I would wrap it for him even if it isn't quite finished. Until you have had a heart to heart with your dad about the sentimental value of the old quilt to him, I would leave it untouched. I am inclined to agree with the others that he treasures it for the memories it might hold of your mother, and to transform it into something else might not be to his liking.

I would say to fix it you know he loves it and it does not have to be perfect he would not take to the new one but this is just my opnion older people on the most part do not like change.

You have been given some very good advice and several options. The only thing that I can add is, be very careful how you phrase you explanation. Instead of saying that the quilt can't be repaired, marvel at how well loved it was. That could also lead into making a pillow to 'remember' the love of the old quilt while enjoying the comfort of a new quilt. Hugs! You are a good daughter.

When my dad asked me he showed me a few ripped areas. I though that would be easy until I took it out to repair it and felt the very thin fabric. He is 93 and does his own laundry. Mom would have never over washed it...LOL...its ok I am almost done the new quilt. I just have to make the sandwich and quit/bind it this weekend.

that is my thought. He know how expensive it can be also. I had plenty of fabric in my stash so made the top and to my luck found some 108 inch backing at Joanns today for 4.00 a yard, normally 16.99 a yard.

I dont want anyone to see that quilt...LOL...I made it and I dont want people seeing how worn out it is.

You are correct, my sister does not quilt and she also is a minimalist so I was surprised that she was so upset with me making a new one. I am sure he has no attachments to the old one. He is from the don't waste, dont throw out anything generation. Which I am the same but not when its really in no shape even to donate...its ready for the trash.

Good idea, I will not bring it with me, but will give him the option of me bringing it back during my next visit.

Thank you all for the wonderful advise and for some things for me to ponder!!!!!! Happy Holidays to you All!

I agree. Talk to your father, leave your sister out of the conversation. If Dad wants it for sentimental reasons, explain that it will not be the same after repairing, or attempt to repair and do your best. I would try to replicate the original in some manner, colors or pattern and present him with a new version of the original IF that would please him. That way he would have two sets of memories in one quilt.

Fingers crossed...going to finish the quilt today. I have not quilted a large quilt in years and have not used my sweet sixteen machine in 8 years. I will just do a straight stitch on my sewing machine then bind. Thankfully no plans today. With luck, will have it wrapped and delivered tomorrow morning. Happy Christmas Eve Morning!!

I sure hope you have a good talk with him regarding your mom's quilt. He may have an attachment to it that no one else is aware of. I would bring both with you, that way you can show him all the damage, and explain why he is getting a new quilt, and let him give the input if he wants something else made from the old quilt. He may have zero attachment to it and say throw it in the trash. I would be prepared for either reaction.

I gave my Dad his new quilt and he was Thrilled. Thankfully it was the perfect fit. I did not bring the old quilt, and mentioned that I would like to recycle it to the animal shelter. He was very fine with that. I know that his generation does not like to waste or throw out items. So glad I was able to make him a new one and that he was not afraid to tell me that he was in need of a repair/new one. I did mention not to use fabric softer on it. He mentioned that the quilt was very old...not really as I made it 9 years ago. I have never had one that I know of wear down like that one.

Thank you for the update. I am so glad he was thrilled and he'll have many future naps wrapped in love.

Thanks for the update on how your dad took the new quilt. As has been said, you are a good daughter.

I am envious that you still have your dad. Keep on cherishing each moment with him.