After a typically challenging morning with three young kids at home, my oldest asked me, "Mom, are you the zookeeper?"

I was getting my GS ready for preschool and I got his sweater out,it had a moose on it. The younger GS pointed at it and said COW. i said"Thats a moose". the older one said"We play that at school!" Now I'm wondering what kind of 'moose' games they play. I said"what game is it?" he said-duck, duck, moose! I about busted a gut laughing at that one!

When Ben was little, I drove a minivan, it was just him and me, me driving, him way in the back.
He yelled"Mom?"
Yes.
"What would you do if there was a chicken sitting next to you?"

Earlier, his older brother, Nick, knew Mommy was pregnant, because her belly was big, and he watched Sesame St, so he knew all about THAT. Back then, I never went to the bathroom by myself, and after observing me, he said, "So show me where that baby comes out"
About that time, same room, same thing going on (I was pregnant for goodness sakes) he knew I was having a baby something, and made the comment "I sure hope you're not having a baby sheep"

My youngest DD came home from school, she was 10, and was very upset. I asked her why and she said her best friend's mother was going to jail. I asked her did she know why and my DD said because Becca is already almost 11 and she doesn't have braces on her teeth. I said why would that make her mom go to jail and she said Mom all my friends know the law, you have to have braces before you turn 11. Becca was her only friend without braces.

When my adopted son was 7 asked me why I never had babies of my own, I told him it was because the parts of me that made babies didn't work. He pondered on this for a few beats and then asked, "Did you try new batteries"? I hadn't, but it didn't stop me from laughing.

when we first got this house, took youngest dd for a walk down to the end of the street. there is a cemetary down there that is going on 300 yrs old, very small, with all the really old head (and foot) stones.

she says to me, "you & dad need to be buried here." when i asked why, she said "cause then the mailman will know where to deliver your bills" i told her after i died, i wasn't paying anymore bills.

same dd, when about 5... she had a cold & i picked her up from day care. as i was putting her in the car, she said, "you know how i can usually sing just like tina turner? i can't today, i have a frog stuck in my throat." funniest part of this is she sound much more like the frog when she's singing than she ever will tina turner!

When my son was in grade 1 he came home one day from school and said.."Guess what Mom, we got a new girl in our class today...she's pork and cheese!"...after a minute I realized he meant she was Portuguese...

I found out my grandson had eat not 1 but 2 of the 3 snicker bars that I had bought and when I ask him about it, he knew nothing about any candy bars, so I got the belt and was going to spank him for lying to me. I couldn't get him to bend over, and he grabbed my arm and said," Nanny, nanny, nanny you don't want to do this, you are a better woman than that." Needless to say I had to hide my laughter, but he got a spanking anyway, only one so far. He was 8. We still laugh about his reasoning.

My DD was probably 7 and asked me why I went to work. I told her I was making money for when I am old. She asked who paid for Grandma. I said we do sometimes. She thought about that for a second and said I could keep working.

Oh boy, I have multiple ones I could post each day! (DS is 3 and talks non stop!).

The two funniest involve body parts (of course). I have tried to explain the difference between boys and girls in a proper, yet simple way (either way it's totally embarrassing when we're in a public restroom, so might as well have him using the correct terms, right?). Evidently that's the one thing that didn't stick b/c he still asks why sissy and I pee out of our butts!

Then one night he was laying back in the tub and said he had an "island" - the area where his boy bits were out of the water.