I have 2 that come to mind that I was talking about today so I thought it would be interesting to ask some of you...

One day my oldest son(when he was about 4) looked in my briefcase, found a tampon in the wrapper of course, swiped it across his nose and said "Mom, what's this...a cigar?...then, before I had a chance to answer he said "Sure doesn't smell like one!..." It cracked me up...

My second son one day (grade 1) ran into the kitchen and said "Mom, what's a sex life?" I didn't answer he asked again and I said..."Well, it the part of your life that involves sex." He thought about it and asked "Do you have one?" I said "Yes". (I wanted to say..."I can't remember much of one since I had you guys!" but I didn't. He thought about it a little more, ran into the dining room and said to his older brother..."Guess what, Mom has a sex life!" Being a whole 2 years older, his older brother looked at him and said "Dah, how do you think YOU got here?

Oh, sorry I just have to add the one about one of my students last year, who was doing history at the computer, turned to me and said "Miss, were you alive during World War 1?...needless to say he failed...(kidding)

How cute. Don't you just love things small children say?

this will be a fun thread, will follow it (I don't have kids) but my shih tzu dog does some funny things lately

When my daughter was about 4 she was looking at a Christmas card with a picture of Mary and Baby Jesus. She asked, "Where's Joseph?" Being a single parent at the time, I had a lot of one liners going through my head. Luckily before I had a chance to answer she said. "Oh, he was probably taking the picture!"

lol ok I probably shouldn't share this one but I just HAVE to! My mom was babysitting our youngest son probably about 2 yrs old at the time. He had just got out of the shower & was sitting on the arm of her chair waiting to get his jammas on & he said "Hey gamma, bet u can't do this" & he was flexing his muscle in his penis! My mom about died laughing! I still laugh when I think of it!

I'll have to think of some but I have! to follow this one!!

lol, funny boys...

Here's a good one I heard from a good friend. She use to run a day care out of her home & one little boy was just getting potty trained. He said "Ms. Smith could you wipe my butt?" She said "Ms. Smith doesn't wipe NOBODY's butt" he sat there for a few minutes...thinking & wondering how he was going to get the job done & he said "Ms. Smith, who wipes YOUR butt" That has to be one of the cutest stories I have ever heard!

When my son got old enough to realize there really was no Santa--He said to me at Christmas time: "Mom, Santa is not real 'cause I now reindeer can not flyyyyy in the skyyyy!"

The summer before our DD started 2nd grade we went to Washington, D.C. and saw the Lincoln memorial, Fords theater where Lincoln was shot and the Washington monument. Well the next school year, in February and Presidents day, the kids were learning about both Lincoln and Washington...I guess learning about both at the same time as well as visiting the memorials of both presidents during the same summer trip caused my DD to be a little confused. One day while driving in the car, we were talking about what she was learning about in school and she looked at me very seriously and said, "Mommy, how old were you when Abraham Washington was shot?" Gosh, so much for being a young looking 36 year old..... !

My son was about 4 and had recently gotten in trouble for putting a plastic bag over his head. In Sunday school they were talking about how Jesus died and he raised his hand and promptly told the teacher "Well, he put a plastic bag on his head" She had to tell me after service!

When my DH (my boyfriend back then) and I were dating, my youngest daughter was sitting on his lap and farted, she turned to DH and said "hey Terry, my butt just burped." we still laugh over that one.

My daughter helped me ice cupcakes one day. I couldn't figure out how she was getting them so smooth on top, so I asked her. She licked them. :shock: So I had to cut off all the tops and put more icing on them. :lol:

I know how you feel, remember I must look like I was alive during WW1...
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

One day when my son was little[he;s 30 now] He came walking out of the bathroom with kotex stuck on the bottom of his feet."they are soft to walk on



One day when our son was little{he;s 30 now} he came strolling out of the bathroom with Kotex stuck on the bottom of his feet[they;re soft to walk on ]he said.I still tease him about wearing kotex.



























'

sorry about double post

When my grandson was 3, he was watching a movie on his mom's laptop while she got ready for work. He got a funny look on his face and threw up all over it. When he told me about it he said, " Well, Granny, I was watching my movie and all of a sudden my tummy said 'Surprise!' Even now, when you tell him you brought him a surprise, he's not 100% sure it's a good thing.

When his dad was about the same age he explained to his grandmother that the lady on tv died because her breather went out...DUH!

My husband and I were going to take our GS who is two to the apple orchard. I was going to have him take a nap before my husband got home from work so he wouldn't be grouchy at the orchard. I read him a couple of books and then told him he had a choice. Sit in the rocking chair with me (he stood beside the chair while I read), or lay down on the bed. He climbed up in the chair with me and I started rocking. After a while he says "Stop rocking, I'm sick of it" I did have to ask his mom who tells him to stop doing something that their sick of it. She says she's the guilty one.

When my son was in Kindergarten(about 20 years ago) the were learning about how old different people were, my son piped up my Mom is 62, the teacher said no she isn't, you must be mistaken, he replied, "yes she is, she told me so." He had gotten my age confused with the year I was born. It took us a good six monthes to realize I wasn't 62.

I was waiting in line at the pharmacy one day with my 3 yo daughter and she walked up to the condoms and asked me if they were for girls - everyone in line turned around and looked at me to see what I was going to say.....so I answered that they were in a way. What do you say????? Everyone was chuckling undr their breath.

I have to tell about a GD.... My DD told me while in a very packed restaurant her youngest DD says, 'My vagina itches!' very loud. When her mom told her she shouldn't say that in the restaurant in a loud voice, her reply was, 'Well, it does!'

Now my DD will probably kick my butt if she ever reads this!

roflmbo!

When my 18 year old was about 4 years old, he found my mother and me in her room looking at family photos. As he also looked at them he noticed they were in black and white. He looked up at me and very seriously asked "Didn't you have color back then?" After Mom and I stopped laughing we gently explained that, yes we had color just like him, but our film only came in black and white. He left the room very relieved that his mom had a world filled with color.

When my 18 year old was about 4 years old, he found my mother and me in her room looking at family photos. As he also looked at them he noticed they were in black and white. He looked up at me and very seriously asked "Didn't you have color back then?" After Mom and I stopped laughing we gently explained that, yes we had color just like him, but our film only came in black and white. He left the room very relieved that his mom had a world filled with color. :oops: Sorry about the double post. I

My neighbor had all her children and most of her grandchildren. I think she has about 3 or 4 great-grandchildren. One, a boy, is 4. He came up to her and asked her if she was old. She said, "Yes, I'm old." He said, "Well, I'm new."

My cousin was sitting on my grandmothers lap and said Grandma why are your boobs so big?? Without missing a beat she said they were her pillows. My cousin turned to my mom and asked Auntie Donna where are your pillows!!! Today my 5 yo for some reason he loves boobs (my fault I nursed him too long) We were watching this show and somehow these girls in swimsuits came on and I quickly turned the channel my son yells NOOOOOOO!! I asked why he turned bright red and my husband goes "Oh is it because of the boppies?) He replied yes I like them!. (boppies is his word for boobs)

One day I was sitting on the couch reading while my son did his second grade homework. Suddenly he asked, "Mom, what's a period?"

My heart stopped for a second thinking it was way too early for my precious little boy - and me - to get into this discussion and I asked, "where did you hear about that?" He replied he had heard about it in school. I was now seriously considering home schooling when he continued, you know, like you put a question mark and a period! Talk about relief!

My daring 22 yr old Goddaughter (4 at the time) was playing in the yard with all the neighbor kids when I noticed she had pantie liners stuck all over her legs.. I asked her why, she said she needed band-aids for her mosquito bites..

One day I was running errands and had my 4 year old daughter with me. She asked me where we were going. I said we are taking the back road to Westboro...She then said..Why don't we take the front road ?? I cracked up. My son used to want me to hold him all the time when he was little..he would hold up his arms and say...Ho De me

When DS was about 5 - he's now45 - we went to a different church to our usual one. When I passed the collection plate to him, instead of putting his money in the plate he took some out. He was told to put it back and to put his money in. His reply was "God told me I could keep my money and take some out of the plate!" The sides-man and everyone in earshot cracked up. I felt like crawling under the pew. The minister said later I should have let him keep it - it was the best he had ever heard.

So many funny stories... I am posting here so I can think and keep getting these posts.

My oldest son was five and we were coming back from the beach at night after July 4th fireworks. He said, Mom what do stars smell like?

Too cute

A bunch of us girls were talking on Thanksgiving about our granddaughters/daughters starting their periods. It reminded me of telling my daughter about what to expect. She turned and looked at me and said "Sorry I'm not having any of those" and went out to play with the little boys across the street.I guess she changed her mind--she has 2 kids! Don't we wish we could dismiss having "those" so easily.

Several years ago I had a neighbor that had two small sons. They were in the tub one night taking a bath and checking out body parts. The younget one asked his brother what his belly button was. The older brother replied,"When God made you that is where he poked you to see if you were done."

When one of my step-gd was about 5 she patted my chest and asked me "What are these?" While trying to ignore the question, not knowing what to say, her mother says "Those are called boobs and your mother doesn't have any!!!

My daughter looked at her Grandma and said, "You're not old Nanny, you're just constipated"......only 3 yrs old!

One day kids asked me "Mom, in the olden days when you were little, was there such a thing as color tv? I was only 32 then.

My son was around 4 years old and him and I were having lunch at McD's. With a very serious expression on his face he asked "Mom, when you were a little girl did they call cars horseless carriages?"

MY son was a runner.The only way to take him out was with two people each taking one hand and holding on firmly Being out one day we were in a very busy store and he just would not stop crying.Icrouched down and asked what on earth was wrong? HE sobbed out Mum youve got my suckie thumb.

In the tub on evening when he was almost 3, my son was washing his privates, and looked up at me and said "There's candies in there." I still start laughing every time I think of it. He is 33 now.