I wouldn't say you are old, but polite and wise. You treat others as you wish to be treated ... and often folks forget these things.

I would rather say 'no' than ask for collateral! I also don't think much of friends who ask to borrow your stuff. I wouldn't ask to borrow anything from anyone.... Borrowing puts too much strain on relationships. It's a disaster just waiting to happen.

They are NOT embarrassed to ask for a loan. consider it a business transaction.

I have a friend that borrows books, mags, fabric, whatever, and I do the same with her. Our pieces are not marked, so we are never sure who has what, but it works out well in the end

I am amazed at the number of people who "borrow" and do not return things or return them only when asked for and damaged. I have to replace my Gingher scissors because someone use them to cut something other than cloth. I got them back and I think it was because I had engraved my initial on the handle. Didn't find out until later that they won't even cut through cotton now. Best not to ever loan anything you cannot replace or live without. That is the only way it doesn't bother me. Just expecting "adults" to return something is asking for hurt feelings.

I don't borrow and am not hesitant about saying "no" when asked to loan something. (Now, EVERYBODY knows not to ask me to loan them something, they know it isn't going to happen!) I have always managed, on a very tight budget, to get the things I need and want; I think everybody else can do the same.

I borrowed a tiller from a co-worker, but ended up having to replace a part because it broke; that would be the "return it the same or better than before" item. And then, I loaned a series of books, and one of the books was returned damaged (looked like water was spilled all over it). I was so upset that I ended up giving the whole series to Goodwill. This would be the "don't expect to get it back in the same shape as you loaned it" item. Needless to say, I learned a lesson on loaning, but I will ALWAYS fix it if I broke it.

I think you might say, "If I loaned you this, can you afford to replace it with new if you damage or break it?" If they say "No", then you can say, "Well neither can I. I have already purchased it once. Can't afford to do it again".
If they say "Yes, then you could say, "Since you can afford it, it would be best for you to go buy one for your own use. That way, mine is here for me to use when I need it."

it was great fun to read m.elizabeth's comment! i taught middle school, also. i never let a pen, pencil or dictionary go to a student's desk without some meaningful collateral! pencils were 35cents down. if they weren't returned i had the money to buy new ones. same with pens. 8th grade brings out the creativity in teachers!! lol

that is the way I was brought up too. I loaned my son my relatively new carpet cleaner. It didn't come home until I told him I needed it. Well, it looked really bad he'd been cleaning his rent houses. It was filthy and stunk. I gifted it to him and bought myself a new one, never to be loaned out, ever.

Unless it's immediate family I don't loan items to anyone anymore. I learned that the people that ask to borrow are the type people I don't want to be around. They expect you to want to lend them items. When someone asks me to borrow something I just say my rule is to never a borrower or lender be.

I learned early not to loan any of my stuff out. My husband had loaned one of his tools to his best friend. Several weeks later the tool was returned but it was returned by another person. Seems 4 people borrowed this particular tool when we only loaned it to one. I also caught my FIL loaning out MY log splitter the other day. I inherited it after my dad passed away. We don't use wood heat but my FIL does and our deer camp does. So I kept it since we cut the wood for FIL and deer camp and we store it in a barn on the farm. I walked in at my FIL's the other day and he was on the phone with someone. After he got off he told me that the guy called to see if he could borrow the wood splitter and he would be there the next day to pick it up. I went livid. I told him it was not his to loan out and anyone that wants to borrow it needs to talk to me. Luckily I knew who was borrowing it and they will fix anything that breaks on it. I have this problem with by BIL, he will use stuff of my husbands and then fuss at my husband when it breaks or his best one... "you are out of welding gas". My husband welds about 3 times a year. That tank of gas should last many years, not 6 months.

I pretty much refuse to borrow anything...if I can't afford my own I just do without! I hate lending things out because 90% of the time it comes back damaged...if it comes back at all! As many of you have said, family and friends can be the worst culprits! The only person I loan sewing tools to is my MIL, she always returns it promptly and fixes or replaces damaged item. But then again, she is a quilter and I think we are a pretty honorable group.

As a teacher, I always asked for collateral. My students were not amused but I asked for a shoe in exchange for a pen or pencil because they wouldn't leave the class with only one shoe on their feet. My principal was okay with this as he had taught some of my students before I started at the school. The parents were another matter altogether but eventually they did understand the rule.

I am waiting to get my Bernina 910 back right now. I was surprised that my neighbor asked to borrow it to take to a camp with her grandchildren. I don't like to lend my things, but I said OK because the little girl had started an AG doll dress at my house the day before they left. They have been back 4 1/2 days and I have not heard a peep about it. I am getting worried that something happened to it. I think my friend has a big fat nerve keeping it so long, in any case. I guess I'll have to call her. I certainly will not lend her anything again.

Hope you get it back okay! Does make one wonder when the return is slow - if at all.

I don't like to tell people what I have invested in things, but sometimes people have NO idea what they are asking for.

Would your neighbor have asked you "Hey, can I borrow $500 (or whatever the machine cost) for the weekend?" And more importantly, would you have said "Yes"?

The more responses I read, the better I think my idea of asking for collateral (damage deposit?) is a good one!

Another thing I think might be useful - the names and phone numbers of rental places!!!