Quiltingboard Forums - Writing a thank you note

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Bless you for raising your boys well!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScoutingSquirrel

and I got in touch with my parents-in-law because the boys hadn't opened the Christmas presents from them by Boxing Day and responded ...

We open one set of presents each day, starting with immediate family on Christmas Day, and write (err ... draw) and Thank you for each item before we open the next set of gifts ...

Hubby's family seem to think I am very very strange for this but the time when we were at their home and played it their way I had an extremely overstimulated boy, who with all his cousins around him wasn't at all sure which gifts belonged to him (He said 'I really really like that fire truck' and was astounded when I said 'It's yours, don't you remember unwrapping it?' LOL!) and was overwhelmed by the huge heap of gifts piled around my feet, and I was totally stressed out trying to write a description of each item and who had given it on the back of a Christmas card!

I confess I don't make my boys, now 6 and 3, produce a thank you for items they have received AND unwrapped in the presence of the giver ... I feel their reaction and the sharing of the pleasure of the gift together is thanks enough ... but otherwise it really doesn't take that much effort to draw a blobby picture, or even stick a printed out photo of boy and toy, onto a piece of card and post it off!

I agree, it's nice to know that something has arrived safely and been appreciated, but stroppy phonecalls on the day following the event are a tad irritating as well - not everything is guaranteed to be presented and paid attention to on the exact date of the event!

Helen

I agree sending thank you notes is the right thing to do, but what about thanking someone in person. Would you still send a written thank you? Also with everyone on the computer these days would it be appropriate to send a thank you via email? When my grandmother passed away my coworkers gave me a sympathy card. I sent them an email thanking them for their kind works and prayers. I have alos sent email thank yous for other things too. Did I do wrong?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robinmg

At least you acknowledged the actions of others. I am not too fussy about how I receive a thank you, but it certainly is nice to get one, when an effort has been made to reach out in some way. I am still happy to get stuff in snail mail, cause it's fun to get something besides bills in the box, but I realize there's more than one effective way to communicate. It's when there's "stone silence" or should I say "stoned-silence" that one wonders if the gifts and giving should be terminated.

I totally agree! A thank you note is a gift in itself giving joy to the gift giver also. I'm afraid that the shame is on the parents that didn't insist that thank you notes be written. That being said, I do think the teen rebellion stage has now extended into the 20's and 30's for some:-)

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Originally Posted by QuiltnNan

i am generous by nature, but resent the lack of gratitude. should i, or should i not, continue to give gifts to those that may or may not appreciate them?

My parents, very generous with their time, talents and money, requested one year that each person who recieved a gift (monetary) let them know how it was used. Privately, they had told each of us children that if a thank you was not sent, there would be no more gifts. (of course, we passed the message on.) That started a slew of letters to my parents from the grandchildren! And my parents have enjoyed correspondence since then, frequently with some, and not so frequent with others. But it worked. Now my parents, who cannot travel, are hearing about the exploits of their grands and great grands without having to go visit.

This hit a little close to home.... I sent my brother a gift 2 months ago for his birthday, and haven't heard a word. Does it really take that long to even email a thank you? He wouldn't have to hand-write it, or use a stamp! Ah well, I just roll my eyes.....

I agree with so many of you...I feel like an acknowledgement, whether hand-written, emailed, phoned, or in person validates that my gift was appreciated. And received.
My experience- invited to step MIL's granddaughter's wedding. Total strangers to us, we went to ceremony only. $50 gift card totally ignored, no form of acknowledgement. Invited to her baby shower, you guessed it, didn;t attend, no gift.
Insist that my young son at least call and thank long-distance family for gifts and spend a little time on the phone visiting with them.
Grandchildren (older son) can't manage a thank you for birthday/Christmas gifts. I can't manage a gift any more either. I call, or send a card, but that is it....
Step DIL ALWAYS sends hand written thank you notes, expressing how much they liked any gift and what they will use money for or how the gift will be used.... I am not crazy about her but I will give her a brownie point for her manners.

I have done so much for people lately and have NEVER recieved a thankyou note!!! I still make my boys send them and they are 27 and 32 yrs.old.
If you can,t write a thankyou note than you don't deserve the gifts. That's just my opinion !!!!Just glade I was brought up with good manners!!!!!

I don't care if I get a TY by email or snail mail, as long as I get one!!
In person or on the phone is great too!! Just so you know your gift is not stuck in the back of a UPS truck somewhere...

My jaw-dropping experience - step DIL and step son got a very nice hand quilted full size bed quilt for wedding present (UPSed to them).
Almost a YEAR later we get a pre-printed, non-personalized, unsigned thank you card - something like I imagine the queen of England sends out to acknowledge a gift. I bet hers are more timely though. I just looked up the wording - "We appreciate the thoughtful tokens of your love" - a $500 quilt is just a token to them.....

If no thank you notes are "required" - then I feel that no gifts are "required" either

I put some of these things in the "fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me" category