RED SKELTON'S RECIPE :
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!". Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face. |
Oh that's funny!!! Love them, loved him!! Thanks :D
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Yes, I am old enough to remember Red Skelton, one of the funniest men I have heard. He was great, seems all the really good ones die way too young.
Thanks for posting this. |
I loved this!!! Thank you so much for bringing smiles to all of us today!!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Naomi
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Oh Boy, do I remember him. As I was reading these I pictured him telling each one and could even see his great smile. That was when comedy was good. Thanks for posting. :thumbup:
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He use to have Sunday dinner at my Grandmothers when my Mom was little - don't know the years, probaly late 40's early 50's. That was St. Louis, Mo. I remember watching him on TV when I was little too.
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I do remember him. I loved watching him every week. I do miss that kind of clean humor.
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I just read these out loud to my husband - we both got a good laugh. And yes, we both remember watching Red Skelton on TV. He was certainly one of a kind :)
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I remember Red Skelton from when I was little. I, too, miss humor that doesn't have foul language in it! Red was wonderful!!!
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He was a very funny man, and I loved his skits and too.
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