Yesteryearwith Red Skelton
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#1
07-12-2021RED SKELTON'S RECIPE :
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor
didn't have to start with a four letter word.
It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words,
"And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor
didn't have to start with a four letter word.
It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words,
"And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
#3
Yes, I am old enough to remember Red Skelton, one of the funniest men I have heard. He was great, seems all the really good ones die way too young.
Thanks for posting this.
Thanks for posting this.
#4
New Quilter , 07-11-2011 04:33 PM
Super Member
I loved this!!! Thank you so much for bringing smiles to all of us today!!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Naomi
#5
Oh Boy, do I remember him. As I was reading these I pictured him telling each one and could even see his great smile. That was when comedy was good. Thanks for posting. :thumbup:
#6
butterflies5518 , 07-11-2011 04:36 PM
Super Member
He use to have Sunday dinner at my Grandmothers when my Mom was little - don't know the years, probaly late 40's early 50's. That was St. Louis, Mo. I remember watching him on TV when I was little too.
#8
Marion Jean , 07-11-2011 05:31 PM
Junior Member
I just read these out loud to my husband - we both got a good laugh. And yes, we both remember watching Red Skelton on TV. He was certainly one of a kind :)
