Taking The TExas Heat

Old 08-03-2011, 07:27 PM
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Got this in an email and had a good laugh. NOt my original post

Great Weather in Texas...you gotta love it

Dear Diary,
Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful
sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've finally found my
home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing thelawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to
the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though.
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the
size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells
like Kibbles and Bits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this
heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I
can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500
and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise butt cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
strangle him. Darn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling
over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the
seats in the car, I thought my a-- was on fire. My skin melted to the seat.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs . Now my car smells like burnt hair, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and
sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the
weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in
this darn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus
will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to
crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer
came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My
sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas . What
kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to
let you know how the trial goes.
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:31 PM
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:34 PM
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So cute. HOT HOT HOT.
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:34 PM
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Too true!!!!
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:34 PM
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Just to funny!!! I live in Texas and this about sums it up. :D
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:35 PM
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I will drink to all of the above
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:39 PM
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It's all too true :cry:
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:41 PM
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It's sad when your pets need a pond in the yard to keep cool, they have to wear pet shoes, you can't spend as much time outside..... Rain dance anyone???
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:42 PM
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TRUE TRUE TRUE but I do not want tp live anywhere else lived here for almost 70 years and it is the best
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:46 PM
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Me too. Only lived here since my dad retired in 1972 but love it most of the time. LOL. I just miss the green around me, the brown is depressing.
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