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Thread: They Walk Among Us!...funnies!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    They Walk Among Us!...funnies!!

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
    I said "May I have large bills, please"

    She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
    When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    We had to have the garage door repaired.
    The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
    I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
    He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
    He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

    We haven't used Sears repair since.


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
    Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
    She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
    She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
    I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
    The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I live in a semi rural area.
    We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
    to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
    The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
    I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

    From Kingman , KS



    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
    She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
    He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
    -- From Kansas City



    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
    'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
    To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
    He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
    I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
    our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
    Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
    and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Helovesme's Avatar
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    Whoa! Very scary.

  3. #3
    Super Member Nanamoms's Avatar
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    Oh, Ditter, you always crack me up with your goodies!! I can totally believe the $$ ones....it confuses the heck out of the cashiers!!

  4. #4
    Junior Member Liz92B's Avatar
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    I think I know a few of those ... {groan}
    Liz / Calgary

  5. #5
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    I definately know the employee at Mc. I think she works at other places too.

  6. #6
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
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    Ditter these totally cracked me up especially the last one. They are just too good not to share with everyone I know.

  7. #7
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    Thanks for the laugh!

  8. #8
    Super Member nannyrick's Avatar
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    These are too funny, LOL. Thanks for lsharing.
    so many quilts to make, so little time.

  9. #9
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
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    I used to live in Kingman, KS! This is too funny!
    (`v)
    `*..*
    .
    .*).*)
    (.(. (..`..♥ rebecca

  10. #10
    Super Member Dolphyngyrl's Avatar
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    I think all of them work with me

  11. #11
    Super Member jitkaau's Avatar
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    Reminds me of the fellow in the supermarket, when I asked him which aisle the ground cloves were in. He told me they didn't sell cloves in the supermarket-any idiot would know you buy cloves in KMart. (i.e. Clothes)...

  12. #12
    Super Member LindaR's Avatar
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    I was in walmart and a lady asked if the bagged dirt was black???? the clerk had a hard time not laughing, me too
    Retired and living in NE Michigan

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    great ones Ditter. Thanks

  14. #14
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    We encountered similar mechanics at car dealership before too. Frustrating!

  15. #15
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    Thanks for the laughs!

  16. #16
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter!
    Mary

  17. #17
    Super Member karate lady's Avatar
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    that's almost as scary as the Walmart people pictures. I actually saw one at my WM the other day.. giggle

  18. #18
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    Funny but SOOOOOO sad!
    http://s1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh485/KitsieH/
    Never regret growing older, its a privilege denied to many.
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

    Kitsie

  19. #19
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    Thanks Ditter to funny!!!!!!!

  20. #20
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    Thank you Ditter43 for the humor. I read them to my hubby and we both had a good laugh.

  21. #21
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    I know the gal at mcdonalds and the guy trying to unlock the car, always funny with you Ditter, thank you for sharing.
    Mary

  22. #22
    Super Member caspharm's Avatar
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    Frightening, isn't it that these people are out there. Some are actually in important positions, too.

  23. #23
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    Ditter......what a laugh I just had......and how true.....I've run into the ones like McD......its too funny...Bea

  24. #24
    Super Member nwm50's Avatar
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    seen these before but needed a reminder of how funny these are (scary but amusing!) Thanks for posting it. LOL
    take plenty of pic of family & friends, keep tabs on loved ones but make time for yourself !

  25. #25
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    I've started keeping a journal of "Idiot Encounters--of This World?" This week I've added the girl @ Chic-Fil-A. I ordered a dozen grilled nuggets. She told me they didn't sell them that way-they only sold boxes of 8 or 12. Also the one at Arby's. I ordered a large mozarella sticks (6) and when I got my order it was small (4). I told her what had happened and it blew her mind. She honestly didn't know what to do. She gave me 10 more. I told her that only ordered 6, and after getting the manager (who didn't know that they just had to give me 2, either), he said to keep the ones I had, and was that enough. DUH! Oh yes, and the guy driving without a windshield in his truck. He was wearing a football helmet and goggles. Am I the only sane one in this county?????

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