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Thread: What do you do when a member of your family---

  1. #1
    Senior Member campion's Avatar
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    do something that makes you so mad!!!

    My younger married son has a hectic life with three children,one which is his own and 2 stepchildren.
    A wife who is on the lazy side,and 2 dogs (who never get walked),birds in cages,a cat and a parrot in a small house.
    He is worn out as he is 12 years older than her,and now she has brought home a puppy.
    He hasn't told me yet----my other son told me.
    But there is a lot more to my tale of woe----sorry for blurbling need to get things off my chest.

  2. #2
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    Go on and vent, we've all either seen that or lived your pain. It'll make you feel better. Not much you can do for your son, he's got to live his life as he feels he has to. It will hurt to see him overworked but at some point in his life he'll wake up, look around and see his life as it compares with the life he was raised with.
    Just don't say anything at all about it, like most men, he'll plant his feet and stubbornly refuse to do anything at all even if he had been thinking of it~~

  3. #3
    Senior Member campion's Avatar
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    Ramona you are so right ---about men and being stubborn,when he has bad times he has a real moan about his wife but doesn't want any advice and yes it's best to not say anything---he obviously knows I wont be happy because he didn't tell me about the pup,and they got it 2 days ago!!!
    Suppose that's what hurst
    Thank you for listening

  4. #4
    Super Member quiltsRfun's Avatar
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    Sometimes it's hard being a mother to grown kids. Especially when you see things you can't really do anything about. But we're all here to "listen" so you can get it off your chest.

  5. #5
    Super Member pab58's Avatar
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    All you can do is love him and pray that he will get up the strength to put his foot down -- or in her behind! :wink:

  6. #6
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    just don't make yourself available for non-human babysitting!!

  7. #7
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    Hmmmm, sounds very familiar to me. I wonder why?
    my son is in Texas so there isnt' much i can do to help him.
    This is your son's life. all you can do is give him a peaceful place to stop by so he can take a deep breath and go on.
    just be there if he needs you.

  8. #8
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    Cant say as I blame you. You mentioned he has a child, how old is your grandbaby? Arnt they just wonderful! I remember my kids when they were little they wanted every stray animal that passed. Just be glad she didnt bring home a snake like my son and then asked me to hold it while he set up the tank for it...yuk...I did. Maybe on second thought if she did bring home a snake the snake would take care of some of the other critters! Sounds like hes a good man, trying to make them happy. Hang in there.

  9. #9
    Super Member yolanda's Avatar
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    I have a son who married his pregnant girlfriend and she had two twin girls aleady - this was 4 years ago - it was rocky at first but now all is well from their perspective. I have watched my son go from living at home playing video games at night to a sole provider to a family of five - it's amazing what he has accomplished but it's tough... he's so very stressed and I hardly recognize him. I am proud of what he has accomplished but concerned for him the long run. Does that make sense?

  10. #10
    Super Member yolanda's Avatar
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    oh gosh and don't say anything that remotely could sound negative about your DIL or that will be that!! when my son got married someone told me "you are no longer your sons mom, you are now your sons wifes mother-in-law" ---- I quickly found out what that meant!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
    Go on and vent, we've all either seen that or lived your pain. It'll make you feel better. Not much you can do for your son, he's got to live his life as he feels he has to. It will hurt to see him overworked but at some point in his life he'll wake up, look around and see his life as it compares with the life he was raised with.
    Just don't say anything at all about it, like most men, he'll plant his feet and stubbornly refuse to do anything at all even if he had been thinking of it~~

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by campion
    do something that makes you so mad!!!

    My younger married son has a hectic life with three children,one which is his own and 2 stepchildren.
    A wife who is on the lazy side,and 2 dogs (who never get walked),birds in cages,a cat and a parrot in a small house.
    He is worn out as he is 12 years older than her,and now she has brought home a puppy.
    He hasn't told me yet----my other son told me.
    But there is a lot more to my tale of woe----sorry for blurbling need to get things off my chest.
    You could be writing about me...17 years ago:) not sure if I was lazy...probably was, I was young...LOL...Dh was 10 years older...same kid situation and I had every pet in the world as well...we survived it, and are the happiest married couple you ever did see....he's still tired...I still stay home...we're grandparents now...and I got the pet situation under control a while back...finally figured out life is much easier with just one dog....LOL!

  12. #12
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Well, he IS an adult and is living his life his way, just as you have to live your life your way.
    Not much you can do is there?
    Letting others behavior consume us doesn't do any good. At least he knows he has Mom when/if he needs you. I'm not a MIL yet but I've heard you have to keep you thoughts to yourself sometimes.

  13. #13
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    Are you right on that.

  14. #14
    Senior Member campion's Avatar
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    Thank you for all your input,you are right about not being able to do anything and it is up to them.I will try to keep the mouth zipped as I don't want to jeapordise my time with my Grandson who is only 2.And if we didn't take him places he wouldn't get!!!

  15. #15
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    Sorry to say but there's nothing you can do but vent. It's his life and he has to live it. Maybe he'll wake up one day and decide to do something about it.

  16. #16
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    This too will pass.......kinda like gas pains, it can hurt like hell for a while but it's such a relief when it passes.
    Hang in there Mom. All you can do is be there when he needs you. ;)

  17. #17
    Super Member yolanda's Avatar
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    Well said! :-)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    This too will pass.......kinda like gas pains, it can hurt like hell for a while but it's such a relief when it passes.
    Hang in there Mom. All you can do is be there when he needs you. ;)

  18. #18
    Senior Member campion's Avatar
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    Ditter thats a very good way of putting it.
    You know there is no instruction manual comes with your kids is there??

    I am always there for them but it's really hard at times to keep the mouth zipped!!

    Thank you

  19. #19
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
    Go on and vent, we've all either seen that or lived your pain. It'll make you feel better. Not much you can do for your son, he's got to live his life as he feels he has to. It will hurt to see him overworked but at some point in his life he'll wake up, look around and see his life as it compares with the life he was raised with.
    Just don't say anything at all about it, like most men, he'll plant his feet and stubbornly refuse to do anything at all even if he had been thinking of it~~
    VERY well said -- and the same advice I'd give. It's hard but eventually one of them will wake up.

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