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Thread: Good article by Leah Day about avoiding hurt feeling in making gift quilts.

  1. #1
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    Good article by Leah Day about avoiding hurt feeling in making gift quilts.

    I have read several discussions on this board about hurt feelings after giving a quilt as a gift. Often the recipient does not react as we had hoped or expected. Leah does an excellent job discussing this and shows a lot of insight in describing when this recently happened to her (with her little boy!). She gives some good pointers in how to avoid feeling hurt....http://freemotionquilting.blogspot.c...or-you_23.html

  2. #2
    Super Member Raggiemom's Avatar
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    Very good article, thanks for sharing it.
    Heather

  3. #3
    Super Member Pat625's Avatar
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    WOW..so true...If you quilt only for positive reception by the giftee you can end up miserable!!

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    Power Poster erstan947's Avatar
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    I learned along time ago that if someone doesn't like my hand made gifts it's their loss. I usually tell the person.....if it's not your flavor~ pass it on! The gift is in the giving

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    I love Leah Day's blog, website and videos. She comes across as a sincere person with genuine remarks about products.

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    Super Member PenniF's Avatar
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    Great article - and agree 100%. Most of my quilts go off in the mail and i never know if they are used - or wind up as the oil catcher on the garage floor.....i put my best into every one - would never send one i wasn't happy with....BUT having said that - i sent 2 couch quilts off as wedding gifts to my husband's nephew in July (posted the photo of one under pictures "Lost my mind assembling quilt"
    Well..got their thank you card last week..and they said thanks for the check we sent, but no mention of the quilts at all....and since they were in the same box, i know they got them....so yeah....that kinda hurt my feelings - cuz even if they hated them - a thank you in writing doesn't require you to fake it too much.
    Oh well...que sera !!

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    Great post I needed to read this today as I have been stressing over a quilt I am making, but now I feel I can continue with what make me happy and I enjoy as I no control over what they will think about it. I just enjoy making it and forget trying to second guess what they will like. Thanks for sharing this link.

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    I learned a long time ago to size up the recipient. If they are crazy for quilts, then the sky is the limit. If they are sort of ho-hum or rather disinterested I put a lot less work in a quilt or simply make a table runner or maybe a purse. Something they are likely to use and enjoy, but not so much work that you have to be angry if they don't use/like it.

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    Senior Member NOELLA's Avatar
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    It's funny this should come up at this time. I gave my neice a bow tuck bag for Christmas ,was at her house reciently
    and ask her if she liked it her reply was she had thrown it in the closet, I was hurt, she could have lied to me, she was at my house just this week and she told me she is now using it and she loves it , uses it to take to work putting all her stuff in it and most of she loves the pockets. I guess it takes some time for things to process. Good luck to all who give keep it up.
    Noella.

  10. #10
    Junior Member angelanicole's Avatar
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    Great article and points well made. I have given up being hurt by giving quilts to anyone who does not appreciate the gift.
    Now I am involved making quilts for orphanages in the Ukraine and the women who receive my quilts to send them
    there are crying when I deliver about 15 quilts a month. They are so thankful and it makes want to make even more.

  11. #11
    Super Member katkat1946's Avatar
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    so very glad that you shared this. I've shared it with my quilting friends now, too.

  12. #12
    Super Member katkat1946's Avatar
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    Just remembered reading many years ago about a quilt someone made for her grandson. When she arrived to visit one day it was being used as a football in the yard. There's a vision I've never forgotten. We can all relate to how she must have felt.

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    Super Member gramquilter2's Avatar
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    Great article, thanks for sharing.

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    Senior Member captlynhall's Avatar
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    I leave next week to go to Oregon to take a 1st anniversary quilt to my son and his wife. I made the quilt from fabric I bought while there last year for the wedding and it took me 11 months to complete. It is just my second quilt, but I think a did a pretty nice job. Every one that has seen it says it is beautiful. I need for them to appreciate it and realize all the work that went into making every little stitch by hand, and to know that every stitch was made with love.

    If I get a ho hum reaction I am going to be extremely hurt. I'm not sure how I could feel anything else after putting my heart and soul into it. I did tell my son I was making it, and have kept him updated along the way, so they are not going to be surprised.
    When a dying man asked his pastor "How long does it take to die?" his pastor's heartfelt reply was "A lifetime." Live life to the fullest, but stop now and then to enjoy the sunset.
    Lynda

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    Thanks for sharing the link. I enjoyed reading her blog.

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    What a great article. I have a spirited grandson so I could understand what she was saying.

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    The way I feel is once you give it as a gift, it is out of your hands. Most people will be polite and say I love it, but who knows. I also tell people if they don't like it, pass it on. Years ago I knitted a sweater for my brother. He wore it to work in a foundary. I learned my lesson there and there. I'm sure he didn't know the hours that went into that sweater. I am very careful who I give handmade gifts to now. Once you give it as a gift, you have to let know. It isn't yours anymore.
    Marilyn

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    Super Member marla's Avatar
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    That is why I think it best for the grands and great grands to pick out the quilt they would like, in that pile of completed quilts. Another thought is one where I listened to a quilter talking about her storybook quilts she made for her class, which got me thinking that if I give a child a quilt it would have more meaning if a story were attached to it. So a rocket ship quilt would also come with a story book of a rocket ship, etc. This is an idea I will use when I do my great grands quilts.
    Jesus knows all my imperfections yet he still loves me. Amazing!

  19. #19
    Super Member marla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katkat1946 View Post
    Just remembered reading many years ago about a quilt someone made for her grandson. When she arrived to visit one day it was being used as a football in the yard. There's a vision I've never forgotten. We can all relate to how she must have felt.
    Wow. These quilts are made with our hearts. Same goes for other handmade gifts. I made a crocheted throw for my new granddaughter. When I visited the throw was tacked up at the window as a curtain. The same DIL asked for kitchen towels for Christmas and I saw her using them to mop the floor. Just those things make you cry. And causes a bitter taste in your mouth for that person.
    Jesus knows all my imperfections yet he still loves me. Amazing!

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