Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 8 1 2 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 177

Thread: Am I a meanie?

  1. #1
    Senior Member quiltin-nannie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    NW PA
    Posts
    840

    Unhappy Am I a meanie?

    I have been asked a couple times to make quilts for people. After doing a table runner for a lady I have decided I don't want to"have" to make something for someone. One lady said "you paid thousands of dollars for that machine
    and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?
    Julie
    Good friends are like stars; you don't always see them, but you know they're always there!

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    NW IL
    Posts
    491
    No you shouldn't "have to feel" that you must make something because they want you to, it's your time and if you don't enjoy doing the project then you should say no. But I'm not sure you still may feel quilty? Yet you may be able to get rid of the quilt if you ask to be paid big amount for your time, and if you buy the fabric and pattern since you need to get some of the thousands back you paid for that machine!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    563
    Blog Entries
    1
    i would put a high price on that baby quilt . i have friends who are "crafters"--they sell stuff at craft fairs, ect. if i buy something from them, i BUY it. none have ever offerred to just give me something because i like it. however, i get constant calls of "could you sew this for me" "could you embroider this", ect.....and no offer of payment. if i have the time, i do it, otherwise, I very nicely say that i really just don't have the time. truth--it does frost me a bit that they jsut take it for granted that i'll make stuff without compensation.

  4. #4
    Super Member auntpiggylpn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Michigan. . .FINALLY!!!!
    Posts
    6,911
    Blog Entries
    1
    I would have told that lady that she didn't contribute to the cost of my machine so she doesn't have any right to expect me to make her anything! Im to the age that I think if it isn't detrimental to your health, family, and credit report and you don't want do it DON'T!
    No one has ever become poor by giving. - Anne Frank
    Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

    http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheQuiltedPig

  5. #5
    Senior Member bigredharley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    342
    It's always hard to say "no" but I agree with Caroloto that it's your time, and you should use it to things you love. I would probably say I have so many projects in my queue that the baby would be going to college before you get to it LOL.
    ​Nancy

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Bushkill, Pa
    Posts
    536
    If anyone asks me to make anything for them, I always tell them that they must pick out the pattern and buy the fabric. The subject is usually never mentioned again.

  7. #7
    Super Member quiltnut4ever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    SWFL
    Posts
    2,236
    In the past I've made items for those who ask...however I no longer have the time nor patience with those who "ask". The cost of fabric has gone up and threads as well. To "ask" me to do something without offering to pay or provide the necessary items to make it hits a nerve with me. Would one ask a chef to prepare you a meal at a restaurant for free? I think not. So I don't make anything for anyone anymore only for the swaps here on the qb, the rest of my sewing/quilting/embroidering is for me. I too have come to the conclusion that if one doesn't want to pay for the labor then I won't do it. Of course if it is a gift tehen that comes from the heart but when one states if I can make something for them I'm quick to say..."sure, if you have a sewing machine and pattern I'll be glad to help you!" that quickly cuts the conversation short.

  8. #8
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Emmitsburg, MD
    Posts
    1,629
    Quote Originally Posted by quiltin-nannie View Post
    I have been asked a couple times to make quilts for people. After doing a table runner for a lady I have decided I don't want to"have" to make something for someone. One lady said "you paid thousands of dollars for that machine
    and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?
    Appalling. Those people should feel guilty for treating you so poorly.

    YOU should feel completely justified in saying NO. It's your "thousands of dollars," your machine, your time and your labor.

    Ask those rude bats when last they offered their spare bedrooms to the homeless. After all, they paid thousands of dollars for those empty rooms.

  9. #9
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    New Rockford, ND
    Posts
    1,870
    I have been ask by three people and i tell them no this is my hobby. i am not turning my fun
    into something with lots of pressure.

  10. #10
    Super Member Shorebird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Winchester, VA
    Posts
    1,533
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by quiltin-nannie View Post
    I have been asked a couple times to make quilts for people. After doing a table runner for a lady I have decided I don't want to"have" to make something for someone. One lady said "you paid thousands of dollars for that machine
    and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?" Should I feel so guilty for saying no?
    ABSOLUTELY NOT! People who do not sew or quilt have no idea the time and effort that goes into these.....They equate home made quilts with the cheapies made in China that they get from Pottery Barn and Macy's on sale....If this is a hobby you love, it is not a business........and turning it into a business can ruin the pleasure quilting gives you.

  11. #11
    Power Poster PaperPrincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    11,158
    Blog Entries
    2
    The gal who asked said "YOU paid thousands of dollars for that machine and you can't make me a baby quilt for my great grandaughter?"
    That's right YOU did, she didn't, so YOU have the option of doing anything YOU want or not doing anything YOU don't want.
    You can also say, "Yes, I paid thousands. I'll do a baby quilt. It will cost you a thousand. (if she says yes, be sure and get the money up front )
    "I do not understand how anyone can live without one small place of enchantment to turn to."
    Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

  12. #12
    Power Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    35,406
    No reason for you to feel guilty. If you wanted to do it and they supplied all the material, batt and thread that's a different story.

  13. #13
    Super Member nabobw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Pinellas Park Fl
    Posts
    5,012
    Blog Entries
    6
    noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  14. #14
    Super Member soccertxi's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    1,669
    Ahhhhh! Just look them sweetly in the eye and say : 'You can't afford my prices." ! (You don't have to say that you make things as gifts. HECK, her attitude already says she does not GET it.) I just smile....and then go home and work on what I want. And I DO quilt for others, but I don't give my work/time/talents away for free with an attitude to boot!

  15. #15
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    101
    I used to feel guilty when people asked me to sew for them. So I would cave and do it. I have come to the age when time is precious and now have no trouble saying no. I have so many ideas of things that I want to make that I could sew forever and still not get done.

    People think that items just get whipped up.....they have no idea the time, effort and money that goes into making our quilting projects. The person should be ashamed of the way that she asked you to make that quilt. If she wants it so bad, she should learn how to quilt. (Sorry but that one really got my goat......can you tell?)

    Remember quilting is our thing! We get to pick what we want to do.

  16. #16
    Super Member Weezy Rider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,159
    If someone asks for a small project every now and then - I'll usually do it. I had one neighbor who decided I was a personal tailor, and I finally decided enough, told her never to ask again. Got told that wasn't "Christian"
    Too bad.

  17. #17
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Fort White, Fl
    Posts
    2,693
    Blog Entries
    1
    I am afraid I would have to say that yes I did pay a high price for that machine and that is why I can say what I will or will not use it for. People are rude and they think just because you have a sewing machine that you can do anything they want you to do. I have been there a few times myself.
    A few people at church want to bring me there mending just because I fixed something for someone one time. they just assume that I have the time and desire to do it. I already do alterations for my family, siblings, inlaws, neices etc and that is all I want to do. Even my family has to wait until I get around to it.
    A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

  18. #18
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,670
    No! whether you paid 1000s of dollars or 50 for your machine, you are not obligated to do anything for anyone. It's your hobby not your business. And why is it her business how much it cost anyway?

  19. #19
    Super Member Crqltr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,699
    Blog Entries
    2
    Nope..don't feel bad! If she mentions the cost of the machine again just tell her with the money spent on it you can't afford to make things for free, then quote an enormous price!

  20. #20
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Emmitsburg, MD
    Posts
    1,629
    Quote Originally Posted by Weezy Rider View Post
    If someone asks for a small project every now and then - I'll usually do it. I had one neighbor who decided I was a personal tailor, and I finally decided enough, told her never to ask again. Got told that wasn't "Christian"
    Too bad.
    Neither is taking advantage of someone's generosity -- or namecalling.

    Some of these people just amaze me.

  21. #21
    Super Member Quiltngolfer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    3,419
    I usually say, I'll call you the next time I have a quilt made and see if you want to buy it. I don't do custom made quilts. They sell for $_ _ _.

  22. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    421
    Why would you feel guilty? It's amazing what a simple 2 letter word can do? No was the right response to such rudeness. Don't waste one moment of your time feeling guilty! I think sometimes we forget that our time is valuable,too. If that wants a baby quilt so bad, she can go online and buy one.Put any guilty feelings you have behind you and walk away.

  23. #23
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Jeffersonville, In
    Posts
    2,570
    That was my feeling too.
    Quote Originally Posted by JulieR View Post
    Neither is taking advantage of someone's generosity -- or namecalling.

    Some of these people just amaze me.

  24. #24
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Jersey
    Posts
    186
    When asked I've always said "I don't do commission work". That's letting them know even if I did make them one I expected them to pay for it.

    Did do a quilt for DIL, she paid for the fabrics, supplies and LA quilting but it hung heavy on my mind until I finished it. . She loved it but she's not a picky person. I've learned from others who have been asked to make quilts that when they made the quilt the person requesting it wasn't pleased, colors didn't look like they thought, it's not big enough or too big, etc., etc. they just kept nit picking as if they paid for it.

  25. #25
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    1,200
    I agree completely with everyone about sewing for people if you don't want to. I used to do sewing projects for people because I thought I could earn a little extra money but not anymore. The "little" extra money is not worth the price I have paid to earn it. I always refer them to someone else that does sewing for a living. I never feel guilty anymore about saying no.
    Lorraine

Page 1 of 8 1 2 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.