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Thread: But I don't Need It

  1. #1
    Super Member Boston1954's Avatar
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    Monday when Hubby and I were in Walmart for groceries, we passed the sewing section, and he asked me if I wanted a new sewing machine for Christmas. He pointed to several and even picked up one (Brother) with a price of $139.00. My Singer is working just fine I told him. (Twice). He has always been very supportive of my favorite hobby, and I appreciate it a lot. I was thinking, "If you have $139 to spend, I would much rather have more fabric". We talked a bit more, and he suggested I make a list of what I want for Christmas. I made the list, and I hope he gets that I don't need a new machine. BUT--- what do I do if he gets one anyhow?

  2. #2
    Super Member Elisabrat's Avatar
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    My husband 10 yrs ago saw me get mad at my old kenmore (loved that machine) because it broke down and needed fixing. About once a year it needed fixing but it made it 18 yrs I was used to the machine .. well one day while out grocery shopping with the kids, he got the good idea of taking it in, trading it in and brought me home some brand I had never heard of and was so proud of himself. $500 for a new machine TADA! SUPRISE! I wanted to cry. I said thank you its wornderful, took me forever to learn to use it and never told him I hated it. I however got myself a newer kenmore not five years later and he never noticed the difference. I would say be loud now.. "boy I sure wish I could have more fabric.. what I would do with a gift certificate to that store" etc. I already told my kids my favorite quilting store or Michaels crafts would be the best stocking stuffers for me. Told my man too. I am sure that is what I will get, easy no brainers for them and oh so wonderful for me. Hide your machine. Yup, hide your machine.

  3. #3
    Super Member kwhite's Avatar
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    Thank him kindly and tell him you are taking it back and will put the money into a fund for a really nice Janome or Bernina in a year or two.

  4. #4
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
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    A few years back my husband and kids got me a Brother Quilter's machine for my birthday. He was very proud of himself for that. I never told him that I hated the machine and the machine hated me. Twice the machine broke and the first time I paid almost $80 to have it fixed. The second time it broke he was the first one to suggest to trade it in. This time I picked what I wanted. I suggest be open with him and tell him what you want and don't want. Don't let him read between the lines because they never do.

  5. #5
    MNQuilter's Avatar
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    My DH tells me that men don't understand subtle, you have to hit them over the head with a 2x4! Be very straightforward but gentle with him. (Afterall, we don't want to discourage the urge to get you gifts!) Let him know that you consider a sewing machine to be an investment that you plan to have for YEARS and you want to make sure if you get a new one, it is one you will use.

  6. #6
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    Before I got into quilting, I was big on crocheting. One year, my dear sweet departed hubby, all by himself, went to Mary Maxim and bought me a crochet case, complete with all the hooks. #1 I was shocked that he would even go in that type of store without me along, #2 I was again shocked that he would even have thought of that without asking me, "What do you want". I was so surprised when I opened it, all I could do was cry. He thought I was unhappy with it, that's why I was crying, but when I told him how happy he had made me, he just sat back with the biggest grin I have ever seen. Proud as a peacock. Now you have to understand that he always thought that what I was doing with all that yarn, was just plain "silly". He would NEVER go with me to buy yarn or anything "crafty" that I was doing, but he didn't mind me doing it. He alsways said that he would never go and buy me any "female" stuff or any yarn. No way, Not if it was the end of the world.....lol
    Well, I have to say that just before he passed away, whenever I was working on something with my yarn, he would ask me, "Do you think you will need more? I'll go get it for you" And he did. He would sit and watch me for hours working on things with that "silly" yarn stuff. lol
    God I miss him.

  7. #7
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    Get all excited about a new machine and begin talking about how you want to research all the brands to find the "exact" right one to last you forever in the future! Let him know that you'd like the 139 to go to your "future" machine fund...then take it and buy fabric with it. 8)

  8. #8
    Senior Member kat112000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tarbender30
    Before I got into quilting, I was big on crocheting. One year, my dear sweet departed hubby, all by himself, went to Mary Maxim and bought me a crochet case, complete with all the hooks. #1 I was shocked that he would even go in that type of store without me along, #2 I was again shocked that he would even have thought of that without asking me, "What do you want". I was so surprised when I opened it, all I could do was cry. He thought I was unhappy with it, that's why I was crying, but when I told him how happy he had made me, he just sat back with the biggest grin I have ever seen. Proud as a peacock. Now you have to understand that he always thought that what I was doing with all that yarn, was just plain "silly". He would NEVER go with me to buy yarn or anything "crafty" that I was doing, but he didn't mind me doing it. He alsways said that he would never go and buy me any "female" stuff or any yarn. No way, Not if it was the end of the world.....lol








    Oh that is such a great story! & you are giving me hope that my DH might do something like that one day!
    Well, I have to say that just before he passed away, whenever I was working on something with my yarn, he would ask me, "Do you think you will need more? I'll go get it for you" And he did. He would sit and watch me for hours working on things with that "silly" yarn stuff. lol
    God I miss him.

  9. #9
    Super Member Quilt Mom's Avatar
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    Be open, and tell him (yet again) that your machine works fine.

    My DH, when he found out I needed a sewing machine (just married), decided to get me in on the process, since he knew nothing about sewing. He took me to the dealer and let me pick out a machine. I have been using it nearly 30 years. (I have picked up a featherwwight to carry to classes, also.) Just a few days ago, he asked if I need a new sewing machine, thinking to replace my first machine for our anniversary. It took a lot of convincing to get him to give up the idea. He has always put the value on 'the newer the better' philosophy. :lol: I asked him to save the money until I find a machine that does something better than mine does!

    I like the idea of asking for a gift certificate for fabric, instead.

  10. #10
    Super Member charismah's Avatar
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    Well I would just like to reiterate that you need to be honest but gentle...can't crush him as he loves you dearly! :D

  11. #11
    Senior Member justme's Avatar
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    Tarbender30... thank you so much for sharing that... it really pulls at your heart strings. It is great to have such fond memories.

  12. #12
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    Tarbender - that was so nice - I can understand why you do miss your DH

    boston 1954 - gotta love him for the thought - but it is kind of in the "Thanks, but you REALLY shouldn't" category.

    Is there another machine you might want as a backup? Maybe you could point him that way - or ask him if you could start a "super machine" fund ?
    (And actually use it for that someday)

  13. #13
    Super Member Boston1954's Avatar
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    Actually I already have a backup, and he knows it because he gave it to me years ago. It was his when he was in a 1776 group and made some of his own outfits. I would like a nice light weight vacuum cleaner and did put this on my list.

  14. #14
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Every time DH asks me if I want to buy a new sewing machine I know he has something new he wants, last time it was a new four wheel ATV. :D

  15. #15
    thismomquilts's Avatar
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    My dear, dear husband NEVER listens to me when I say what I want or don't want - I ALWAYS tell him to not buy me jewelry - what did I get for my birthday? A necklace - beautiful but it cost enough to pay for half the machine I'd really like to have... or would've bought yards of fabric. Wonder why they don't listen... I'd rather he not ask if he's not going to listen.

  16. #16
    Super Member Darlene's Avatar
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    What a great topic I bought my $130 Brother with my stimulus money this summer. I didn't need or want an expensive machine as I have a good Singer too. But I love that new machine and am proud I got it myself. My DH was already in the car when I came out with the cart and in it my new machine. I really love it because it is so different than my old Singer.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Dingle's Avatar
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    I wish my Husband would suggest something like that. He pays no attention to what I am doing or why. When I get more fabric all he says is do you really need more? :(

  18. #18
    Senior Member Maksi's Avatar
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    Oh Deary, this little story is so full of love, tears in my eyes..such a beautiful message.

    My DH always tell me I'm a silly woman whith al my fabrics and when I make my quiltblocks...very silly, yep, it makes him grin also, but he always go with me when I want to buy some fabrics and wait outside the store :) ...

    I'm very sorry that your lost your DH. Big Hug for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by tarbender30
    Before I got into quilting, I was big on crocheting. One year, my dear sweet departed hubby, all by himself, went to Mary Maxim and bought me a crochet case, complete with all the hooks. #1 I was shocked that he would even go in that type of store without me along, #2 I was again shocked that he would even have thought of that without asking me, "What do you want". I was so surprised when I opened it, all I could do was cry. He thought I was unhappy with it, that's why I was crying, but when I told him how happy he had made me, he just sat back with the biggest grin I have ever seen. Proud as a peacock. Now you have to understand that he always thought that what I was doing with all that yarn, was just plain "silly". He would NEVER go with me to buy yarn or anything "crafty" that I was doing, but he didn't mind me doing it. He alsways said that he would never go and buy me any "female" stuff or any yarn. No way, Not if it was the end of the world.....lol
    Well, I have to say that just before he passed away, whenever I was working on something with my yarn, he would ask me, "Do you think you will need more? I'll go get it for you" And he did. He would sit and watch me for hours working on things with that "silly" yarn stuff. lol
    God I miss him.

  19. #19
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    DH used to buy me a bouquet of Carnations regularly. At first, I thanked him and put them in water. The last bouquet of Carnations he brought me were hurled (with attitude) into the sink. Then I went about my business. He eventually asked me if I planned to put my flowers in water. I replied that I had NO intentions to do anything with those flowers. He was surprised.
    1. I had told him numerous times that I am not a fan of flower bouquets. They need the water changed and that is a chore. If the water doesn't get changed, they stink and that is gross.
    2. I had told him numerous times AND very directly that I DO NOT LIKE - in fact DESPISE Carnations (they are funeral flowers).
    3. Since he OBVIOUSLY had not listened to points 1 and 2, he therefore had OBVIOUSLY purchased those flowers in question for himself and therefore, he could put the [darn] things in water himself.

    No more flowers - no more Carnations. Thank you very much!

    Men sometimes only hear what they want to hear, and it takes a direct approach to drive a point home.

    I have since added a caveat when I see something I like: "I really like [fill-in-the-blank] but I would not want to own one." OR "I really like [fill-in-the-blank] and boy would it be nice to have one."

  20. #20
    Super Member Mamagus's Avatar
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    My first husband (now passed for 6 years) bought me a new sewing machine the fall we got married It was a Singer 1425 and cost close to 1000.00 twenty eight years ago! I made EVERYTHING on that Singer. Baby clothes, polo shirts for him, maternity clothes, curtains, quilts, frilly dresses for Erin, the list goes on and on.

    When my second husband suggested trading it on a new machine I felt like he was asking me to trade one of my children. I was nice but said I don't think it is worth trading. BUT I could not pass up the opportunity to get a NEW one after 25 years!! He went with me to buy my Janome and the Singer sat in the sewing room unused but still loved. Last spring I gave it to my daughter and she cherishes it. I've told her that when she goes to France next fall the Singer comes home to Mama while she is away working. No storage shed for my baby!

  21. #21
    Super Member jljack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MNQuilter
    My DH tells me that men don't understand subtle, you have to hit them over the head with a 2x4! Be very straightforward but gentle with him. (Afterall, we don't want to discourage the urge to get you gifts!) Let him know that you consider a sewing machine to be an investment that you plan to have for YEARS and you want to make sure if you get a new one, it is one you will use.
    The bit about the men NOT understanding SUBTLE!!!! That's just about universal, I think!! My man especially....I have to be direct with him. He doesn't get hints...they sail right over his head.

  22. #22
    Super Member Pzazz's Avatar
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    My DH is also VERY supportive of my habit...oops..I meant hobby. :wink: And he also likes to spoil me. Like some of the other significant others on here, he has lovingly bought some gifts that his heart was in the right place...but not really what I wanted/needed. We now put a "wish list" on the fridge by about the beginning of November. I get VERY specific...website or store, model #, cost, etc. Makes for a lot less miscommunication. None of us are mindreaders. I dont' always know what he would like either. :cry:

    Patti

  23. #23
    community benefactor Knot Sew's Avatar
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    I don't have any happy memories of gift from a hubby....I love carnations cause they last a long time and there are endless varieties...I wish someone bought me flowers... if I get any I have to buy them...be careful what u say u don't want

  24. #24
    Senior Member Maksi's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that nobody gives you flowers..So I give you a virtual Dutch rose.
    [img]http://www.mijnalbum.nl/Foto-6JC44KST.jpg[/img]


  25. #25
    Super Member Pzazz's Avatar
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    Knot Sew...you are sooooo right!!!! This is my 3rd hubby...and the first one that has ever bought me things "just because". If, heaven forbid, he goes before I do, I will miss those moments....and I do cherish him, and each one of those moments I get!!!

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